Soon To No Longer Be a Student Without a School

That title sounds funny.

Yes, I found out that I will be able to attend school again in the Spring semester, with help from the local and federal government. I wonder if I will be able to pay that back someday. Hmm...

In the meantime, I have since decreased my daily working hours from 12 to 11. I think that four 11-hour days of work is easier than four 12-hour days of work. It has been nice getting home an hour earlier for sure. This allows for more rest and less coffee consumption.

I have also been enjoying my computer at home. No, we don't have the internet, which might explain why I never post on here anymore, but I have a wonderful computer thanks to my uncle. This computer has afforded me the ability to start keeping a real budget, which I actually try to stick to quite closely. Mix CD's and CD case cover art for work have also been some projects that I have undertaken. It is so much fun to just play and see what can be done. Technology can be so cool sometimes!

If you are interested in more weekly detail of my life, I would like to invite you to swing by my xanga site, at http://www.xanga.com/senoritazorro . I post approximately once a week on there, sometimes more. Once school starts I will hopefully be able to keep better track of both of these blogs.

Please remember that the turkey was originally in the running for America's national bird when you dig in this Thanksgiving, if turkey is part of your meal. I hope that you all have a blessed Thanksgiving Day spent with loved ones!

New Post Past Due

So I spent this past Saturday evening hearing the Good Word, eating good mexican food, and then allowing my parasympathetic nervous system to be sent through the wringer thanks to a bunch of giant Tripods and numerous close-up shots of very scared people. I really view Ms. Fanning as the next Jodie Foster. She is phenomenal on the big screen.

Did you know that there is a second Saw movie set to come out sometime within the next something, October 28th? Yes, I'm a bit excited about that because I am a sicko, as my sister has been unfortunate enough to be reminded of during the past few relatively lengthy drives to and from her dorm at school. She also aided me in diagnosing my olfactory malady: psychosomatic anosmia. She said that we needed to remember that.

Finally, I am looking forward to October 31st even more than I am Saw2. You might wonder why that is. It is because I'm a blood-thirsty pagan who enjoys the revelries of such an evening? Is it the excitement of make-ups, masks, and costumes? Or could it be the expectation of enough sugar to make my dentist really, really mad at me? While those all may be likely reasons, though hopefully not the first one, they are not THE reason. As of this October 31st, I will have three years of driving experience under my wheels. This means that I might be able to purchase less expensive auto insurance coverage! How exciting! Yeah, it's not quite the same without dancing lizards, but we try our best to please.

Does anyone else find irony in the date of my driving test?

I like to think that I helped steel my instructor against any other frights she might face that day.

Sinus No Stopus Runningus

I have come down with some sinus something over the weekend and so decided not to go to my second job this evening. I do not wish to make my coworkers sick nor drip over all of the computer stuff.

Saturday was great. Sister and I got to go to Memphis for the first time, play lasertag, and eat some good food. Better than most of that was just the conversation in the cars on the way there and back. We had spiritual discussions on the way there with a young couple and one of the guys who resides at the ministry's building. Then on the way back, we drove with that guy, as well as the other guy who stays there, and an international student from Taiwan. We talked about Taiwanese political issues, movies, and the classic X-men cartoon series. It was a wondermous trip to be sure!

Sunday was a day of mild disappointment but greater enjoyment. The mildly disappointing part was being sick and not being able to go to church in the morning of the evening. The greater enjoyment part was being sick with my sister, watching movies, eating pizza, and endulging our love for peanut M&M's while simultaneously donating to the Susan G. Komen foundation. It would be great to be able to watch the entirety of Sense and Sensibility some time.

Not to Celebrate, but to Remember

It is the 60th Anniversary. There will not be cake, ice cream, presents, or dancing. While the views differed and differ on necessity and implication, this is not a time or an event to celebrate.

What were we thinking?

"An excerpt from their poem, Floating Lanterns, reads: 'On August 6 every year, the seven rivers of Hiroshima are filled with lanterns. Painted with the names of mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers... they float on their way to the sea. Almost there, pushed back. Flames snuffed out. Darkly coming back in pieces. Tossed by ocean waves. Years ago, the rivers were filled... not with floating lanterns, but with the corpses of those mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers.'"

-from Art For a Change

Why I Still Follow Nancy's Advice

1. Money – I do feel a little weird putting this one first. But even if I didn't have my moral judgments about it, I just don't have enough dough to buy any dope.
2. Moral obligations – Heretofore I am a teetotaler as well. I feel that what God says about not letting wine or strong drink corrupt your judgment also covers other judgment corrupting substances. Besides, Jesus didn't turn a bunch of grass into weed, now did He? no.
3. My siblings – what kind of example would I be setting? Not to mention, I wouldn't have the sharpness needed to form my witty comebacks, even if they are 20 minutes after the fact.
4. Heroine Bob – Heroine Bob is my hero. Not the needles though, those don't bother me. Nor the mixing alcohol and narcotics. But I really liked the way that he used chemistry to explain just why acid is really bad news.
5. Devon Sawa – Did you ever see Night of the Twister or Now and Then? Not to gross anybody out, but back before I knew better, I thought boys were cute. Specifically, I thought Devon Sawa was quite a looker, even if he did have a broken chromosome and cooties. As good looking as he is, and as bad as his character looked on acid, granted an insane amount of acid, I, a plain Jane, would not stand a chance of looking an eighth decent.
6. Neuronal Jerks – Not like mean, bully neurons beating the other, smaller ones up, at least I don't think. No, as naturally nervous(hyper) as I am, caffeine can sometimes give me muscle spasms or jerks. Not to mention messing with my already sporadic sleep patterns. So, caffeine is bad enough.
7. Roommate – She's my roommate, best friend, and probably the most well armed person that I know. “Dead meat” is a threat taken seriously when it comes from her.
8. Family history – Addictions have run in my family before, pretty closely related family. Most have been able to clean up, but it takes your body a l-o-n-g time to straighten things up after messing with it like that.
9. Sports – I heart my bicycle. I want to learn to run without looking like one half of a T-rex three-legged relay. If I ever get in the right condition, have the expendable income (see #1), and am eligible for any of the venues, BMX sounds awesome. I can dream, and it might come to pass. It is highly unlikely, but a lot more likely clean than not. Not to mention the drug screening that is done in any kind of serious competitive activity.
10. Life – This is like my miscellaneous, catch all category, but appropriately titled. I love just about everything about life. No matter how well you can remember something or dream it, our dreams and memories are not even a tenth as lush, detailed, and vibrant as our current state of consciousness. I don't want to be so dulled or numbed that I am walking around like I'm lost in my memory or in a bad dream. And in the case of those drugs that have the opposite effect, I already know how many pores I have on my nose. No thank you.

(This is Fiona's sister swearing that she was not on something when she wrote this list about why she isn't on something. Hard to believe that she wasn't, but I swear!)

(This is the roommate, pointing out the fact that the Feebs wrote all of this at one-to-two in the morning. To know why this is ironic, see number six. Also, no, she wasn't joking in number seven.)

A Student Without a Class to Take

It is with some sadness that I say that I will not be attending classes this fall, though I will still be calling myself a student. After taking my financial aid papers back up to the school, it was definite that I would not be able to get all of that wrapped up in time for the deadline. So, no fall semester for me.

I do feel rather glum about it. "It will be like an extended vacation, just with a full time job as well." But, you know what, God will still see me through this. It may all be for the best. I was hoping to take the Spring semester off anyway. This way I will just be extending my summer vacation. I plan to schedule times to study so that my gray matter doesn't trickle out my ears and slosh away in protest. This looks scary from here, but the best will be made of it.

The good news is, I may have more time to spend with Sister and Brother. This will be her first semester away at college, so she might want to come home pretty often. This way my wheels might be more readily available to her. We already planned to try to spend as much time together as we possibly could.

Another bonus is that I will not have to forego helping out with the kids at church. And since our pastor's wife is hoping to get something started for the youth on Wednesday nights, I may be able to be a part of that. I definitely want to pray about it though. I know that I would love to work with the youth, but I don't that God would have me be in a position of leadership in that kind of ministry. I'm not certain that leadership is one of my gifts. But I definitely have a heart for the youth of our church and hope that I can connect with them still being kind of close in age. Who knows?

Well, I know Who knows. That's why I'll be praying about all of this.

The moral of the story is:

Listen to your younger but wiser sister and get your financial aid papers finished and turned in straightaway.

And don't eat liver with onions followed by macaroni and cheese from the box. Just trust us on this one.

I'm a Democrat?!

My sister and I have done a lot of quizzes just for fun. Also, we both like the West Wing to varying degrees. Therefore, finding this quiz and filling it out was just appropriate. Hee! So, Sister, try this quiz if you get the chance. I would guess that you might be C.J. Craig. What do you think? (And how in the world did I get Sam Seaborn? He's crazy! Okay, maybe not as crazy as Donna. I kind of think I'm more like Donna anyway: gullible.)


The idealistic speechwriter is well-liked by just about everyone. He's known for his excellent writing, sense of humor, and tendency to be clutzy. Although being younger than the rest of the staff, he's often treated as so, much to his dismay.

:: Which West Wing character are you? ::

Reflections E-mail from Planetwisdom

This is from an old e-mailing that I used to get from Planetwisdom.com. As is usual, my mailbox is a mess, so I decided to try to clean it up a bit. This is from sometime last February, so it's pretty old, but I thought that it was definitely worth sharing.

If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness.
- Romans 8:10

In my backyard we removed about seven trees and an entire wall of ivy. We started landscaping from a clean slate... well almost. You see, under the ground there is still a massive network of ivy roots. Every week new ivy shoots begin to spring from the ground. I pull them out and they grow back. It has become a weekly routine. The other day I actually said to myself, "When will these ivy roots get tired of this game? When will they give up?"

Of course, they will never give in. They are what they are. They are ivy roots. They know one thing and that is to grow ivy. It has nothing to do with will, but character. The character of the ivy root is to grow ivy. It doesn't have to will it to happen, it just does. And no amount of desire will stop it.

Now this is quite like our lives. Before Christ, we had a heart that sinned. We didn't have to will to sin, we just did. And no amount of will power could turn our lives from sin. After Christ, we have been given a new spirit by which we can now seek righteousness. This spirit is still trapped in a dead body of flesh that knows only what it has been trained to do - sin. So while our new heart wants to follow Christ, we struggle with our former ingrained character. We must continually crucify the flesh and walk in the Spirit, allowing the Spirit of God and the Word of Christ to transform us from the inside out. It is a process. It is a journey. We are in it together.

Josh Matlock

Proud Oldest seeks time with Genius Siblings

Is there anyone else that is a sibling, especially an oldest? There are plenty of things about life that are worth enjoying. Being a mom or dad is probably great, but I haven't gotten to that point yet. So, for right now, my favorite hat is that of the "big sister," which potentially has double intimations, but we won't go there, will we?

Either anywho, the local library system's summer reading program is here and my little sister, all of 8 spunky years old, has dived right in. Along with reading all of the books that she can check out and carry in her book bag, she has also been attending the programs that they have. Both today and Tuesday I got to go with her. I enjoyed Tuesday because it was about birds of prey from the local zoo: a kestrel, a black vulture, a (huge) owl, and a red-tailed hawk. The library was packed with these little creatures that couldn't have been taller than three or three and a half feet. They were everywhere! Of course, my little creature wasn't all that impressed with the guy from the zoo. She already knew everything about these birds from watching The Crocodile Hunter on Animal Planet. Of course.

The calendar of events said that this morning's program was supposed to be about recycling, but it was actually about monster legends of Arkansas, the Boggy Creek Monster, the Gurdon Light, and the White River Monster. But, they were sneaky about it. They also told us about protecting our natural resources, our wetlands, our air, and our water. Pretty clever, huh?

Yes, we had a good time. On Tuesday we walked home chasing the shade. It probably wasn't any hotter than a few billion degrees outside, but the walk wasn't too long. It's only a couple thousand miles back to my grandma's house from the library. Thankfully, I was walking with my little sister. If you know anything about little sisters, they are quite the curious things. She can talk about almost anything. This morning, due to the precipitive weather, we just drove back home. We still talked about as many of the same important things that we could think of, like when we'll next go swimming or playing in the mud in the backyard. Ah.

If you get the chance, spend a few hours with a younger sibling. Whether you're reading a book, wrastling, swimming, walking, or anything, you're going to have a good time and probably learn quite a bit too. Especially about bugs, crocodiles, and crayons, or maybe that's just my little sister. Find out.

A Summer Without a Brother

This is my "ode" to my brother, who is spending the summer with my uncle and his family as of this past Tuesday. I am hoping that he is having a good time. He lives in a house with four females, six including the cats. So, this will be an escape from being the only brother in the family. My uncle has two sons that are a bit younger than my brother. In this way he will not only get to hang out with guys, but he'll be the oldest kid in the house too.

While he is away, my sister and I intend to do something that should annoy him, but probably won't. We haven't yet figured out what that is, but when we do, that is what we will do, definitely.

Who am I kidding? WE MISS YOU!

P>S> Maybe Batman Begins will be at the dollar theatre when you get back. hm?

They Charge You Money!?!

My last paycheck was not the kind of paycheck that makes you want to kiss your boss and buy everyone a candy bar. My last paycheck was kind of puny because of the lack of hours that I logged at work. I missed two days to help a friend with the loss of his mother. Then I didn't get a whole 8-hour shift in because we ran out of work to do that day. So, my rent that came due that weekend was enough to eat just about my entire paycheck and most of the contents of my checking account, minus tithe and food money.

In fact, BBB and I needed to get some food since we didn't have much left. It's no fun to be out our own and starving (not that I have nor will likely ever experience anything close to starvation, perhaps not even true hunger). I walked up to the bank attempting to both save gas and get some exercise in. I took out exactly $15 hoping that it would be enough to bye the essentials that we needed. I then trotted over to the grocery store, which was having some truly amazing specials. I was able to get one gallon of milk, two loaves of bread, bologna, a bag of spinach, a bottle of ketchup, a can of chili, some cheese, a box of cereal, and something else, I think. That was all for about $14.25! It was wonderful! And my sister found $10 in my purse when she came with me to the bank, which was in immense help. I am so blessed in that I am well taken care of. God has orchestrated so many things to keep me from totally drowning in so many situations. Not to mention the best family and friends that I could ever hope to imagine to think to ask for.

If only it didn't cost anything to read books. Wait, there is a way! The library!

Ciao, y'all!

"Do You Trust Me?"

The other day I went to fix a sandwich for work and decided to have chicken lunch meat, as that was the only lunchmeat left in the fridge besides the big pack of turkey lunchmeat. The turkey lunchmeat is newer, and I am somewhat crazy about rotating our grocery stock. It certainly wasn't past date, but I checked with my olfactory organ just to make sure that it was okay. Then I stopped myself. Can any processed, packaged wannabe meat be "okay."

And we muddle through still.

I don't know if I have mentioned it much on here, but I am living in an apartment with my best friend now. It is kind of interesting so far. We still haven't gotten everything unpacked, but the dining/living room is coming together. BBB hung up some of the artwork the other day, and it really livened it up, made it even more like home. We've both kind of gotten used to moving, probably she more than I, so it hasn't been too hard for us to feel at home. That actually happened pretty quick. I think what we're starting to do now is set up those little habits and peculiarities for us in our new place.

Like eating food that I would otherwise turn my nose up to. Ohh... I remember the days when I had a waistline. They weren't so long ago, were they?

Randomocity

" I have just a little more than 20 minutes, I can make it. Get in there, get the job done, and get out... in 20 minutes. Alright, let's give it a go. First the left and let it warm up. Oh, not too hot. A little bit of the right one. Nope, I need it warmer. Ugghh... too hot. Let's get this right. A little bit of cold water. Aackk, that's much... more... freezing..."

Tomorrow's Headline: COLLEGE STUDENT DIES OF HYPOTHERMIA While Attempting to Take a Shower

As sad as the circumstance is, there is a lesson to be learned: remember to always turn the knobs slowly.

~~,~~~@~~~`~~~@~~~,~~~@~~~`~~~@~~~,~~

Es el fin de semestre.

Hallelujah is a universal word.

My last Chemistry test (prior to the final) was today. My brain has already begun it's more complex form of post-semester decomposition.

I look forward to walking, working, hiking, biking, reading, and praying more over the summer.

Today is the National Day of Prayer. Check your calendar, it's on there. Check your life, is it in there?

Physical Brain States

This morning in Philosophy, we continued our dicussion on the philosophy of the mind. Our good friend René Descartes is in on this discussion as well, as he was in many of the areas of philosophical discourse.

We were discussing the views of Dualism, more specifically substance dualism, versus Materialism in the question of whether the mind is a seperate thing from the body. I don't think that I could adequately relate both views, but I will try for the quickie versions. The substance dualist might say that there are two kinds of substances in reality, matter (physical substance) and mental substance, the body and brain being physical matter and the mind being made of this mental substance. The simple problem with this is that there is no way to prove the existence of "mental matter," or how the mind would then interact with the physical matter that is our brain.

The materialist tries to simplify the problem further by saying that there is no such thing as the mind or mental matter. There is only the physical body, the brain. Any thoughts, feelings, or mental states that we have are equivalent with the physiological processes that we have observed during these mental states. Our professor used pain as his pet example. Studies using MRI scans have shown that certain fibers in the brain, c-fibers, fire when people experience the mental state of pain. He said that there is a bit more to it than that, but that the materialist says this mental state is not something that we experience seperate from the physiological response: we have no "mind."

The problem with Materialism is that if there is no mind, if we don't experience mental states apart from our physical states, then what makes us who we are? This view would have us understand ALL of our mental states (pain, love, joy, anger, fright, confusion, etc.) to simply be physiological, perhaps chemical reactions taking place in our brain and central nervous system. Our professor said that this gets tricky because by believing this, you are basically saying there is no soul.

All this to tell you that when I heard this in class, it made me think of the story of the little mermaid, the actual one by Hans Christian Anderson. In the story, mermaids don't have immortal souls. When they die, they simply turn to foam. In a weird, funny way, if one subscribes to Materialism, then they believe that we turn to foam when we die. My reasoning for this is that the materialist says that mental states = brain states. Therefore, when our brain dies, we die. Well, during the process of natural decomposition of the body, the brain is one of the organs that goes early. This is because "all the bacteria in the mouth chew through the palate," says Arpad Vass in Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach. The brain is quite soft and apparently easy for the bacteria to munch. "The brain liquefies very quickly. It just pours out the ears and bubbles out the mouth." This is known as "frothy purge."

So, if you believe that we are just physical matter and firing electrons, then you might say that we too turn to foam when we die.

A Shared Sagacity

"Ask the former generations and find out what their fathers learned, for we were born only yesterday and know nothing, and our days on earth are but a shadow."

-Job 8:8-9

Earlier this afternoon, I was able to visit a good friend of mine whom I have not been previosuly disposed to see for the past three weeks or so. Thelma is a friend of the lady that I used to live with, Helen. Helen made it a certain habit to go and visit Thelma every Friday afternoon, as often as she was able. She took the two local newspapers to Thelma, and we would stay and watch Jeopardy. They had known each other for many, many years. When their husbands were still alive, they would all spend time together. Sister has met Thelma one time, and I imagine that she could confirm my saying that Thelma is a wonderful lady.

She called me the other evening and told me that her daughter, who had been battling cancer for some time, passed away. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of losing a child, no matter what his or her age. Thelma's granddaughter, Kelly, has been helping both her mother and grandmother. She has been taking it quite hard since she had been so close to her mother through much of her ordeal. Thelma was matter-of-fact. She didn't cry or ask me to come see her, but when you're grieving, if you're like me, you need people whether you tell them that or not. We were both glad to see each other when I did stop by.

Despite the slight melancholic atmosphere, we had what was pretty much one of our regular conversations. We talk about so many things. I think that we think alike; instead of thinking linearly, we both use circular strings of thought (though mine might actually be more entropic than that). The conversation got around to the uses of profanity, and then marital disputes. Thelma has had many rich life experiences, and she is wonderful at sharing the gems of knowledge that she has collected along the way. "If you and your husband are ever upset or angry with each other, you should dress yourself up, have your husband dress up, and go out. Do something that you both enjoy doing. Have fun together."

There is a story that goes with this pearl of wisdom. At one time Thelma worked for the Family Services Agency. She saw many couples that would come in for counseling, and as numerous as they were, they often shared similar problems. One lady came to see a counselor about her relationship with her husband feeling worn-out. The counselor asked her, "What did you and your husband do for fun before you married?" "Well, we used to go fishing," the somewhat befuddled lady replied, for what does fishing have to do with an unhappy marriage? The counselor then further inquired as to when they had last gone fishing together. "I can't even remember, it's been so long," was the lady's response. "Sometime within the next two weeks, if you can, get your fishing gear together, perhaps pack a picnic lunch, and go fishing with your husband."

With the counselor's order fresh in her mind, the lady went home and pulled out their old rods and reels. Her husband wasn't quite sure what was going on, but he didn't mind a short vacation from the mundane. They packed into the car, stopped and bought some bait at the store, and spent a warm afternoon at the lake. They didn't catch very much more than the few flies that tried to infiltrate their lunch.

When the lady next went to see the counselor, she was asked how things were going. The lady explained, "Well, I took your advice. Bill and I went fishing. We didn't really catch anything and we did get a bit of a sunburn. But that was the most fun that we've had together in years."

In this manner Thelma related an important piece of advice for me to remember: you have to be friends with your spouse. You should be able to have fun together.

Sometimes opening a bucket of worms isn't such a bad thing.

Green Chickpeas

Last night, which is still only one or two hours ago, was splendid. At work, we completed our work load and left two hours early. We were also sent home with goodies since there had been a party earlier today. The day shift left some wonderful things: chocolate covered peanuts, some exquisite peanut butter fudge cheesecake stuff, a meat and cheese tray, and some salsa con queso. I brought home the rest of the peanut butter cheesecake stuff and the salsa con queso. Mmm.

After work, since I got off early, I planned to go watch the rental movies with Sister and Brother, but they were going out to the movies with Mom and Jolly. So, much to my delight, I was able to watch a movie with Grandma. We declined to view the rental movies in favor of an old film version of Little Lord Fauntelroy, based on the book by Frances Hodgson Burnett. When we were still homeschooling, this book was on the list of books that Mom wanted us to read, and I actually read it. I think that I first heard the story when Mom read it to us. (And that's a wonderful habit, I think. Sharing treasured stories aloud, whether by recitation or reading, is such an amazing memory.)

I forgot how funny it was, and there were some very notable actors of the day in the movie. Mickey Rooney played the role of Dick, the shoeshine boy that was friends with young Ceddie. One of the Barrymore ladies was in it as well, but I don't think that it was Ethel, and I honestly couldn't tell you for sure. Grandma worked on the houseshoes/bedsocks that she is knitting while we both watched the film. It was nice.

Driving home in these wee hours has been nice. There is almost no one else on the road, and I can roll the windows down, turn the radio on (or not) and just take my time. I was especially taking my time this evening. After turning onto East German Canal street, I saw a light, tan-colored feline slinking across the five lanes not too far ahead. It did hurry up and finish across. Further down, when I was closer to home, I spotted something by the trash bags that were moping in front of one of the darkened houses. I slowed down to make sure that I didn't hit it, and I caught a glimpse of it: a raccoon. I went a few driveways up and turned around to go see it again. I was stalking a small, foraging raccoon at 1:00 in the morning. I finally did go home after getting in a few more good looks at him.

Well, if I don't want to look like he did, I better go ahead and go get some sleep. I feel like I might fall asleep on the keyboarlkj e li sdlkfj nr aokls oiwer/;/o awiiuse;rl.

She said of the library, "I'm not impressed."

No, I have not traveled overseas this past week, I haven't even left the state. However, I have had a good week so far. On Tuesday I did get to go hiking, sort of. BBB and I went to meet some of her friends at a mountain that's not too far away. (People from out of town say that it's really more of a hill, but it's the closest that we have. ) They didn't show up, so we just hung out at the playground area and walked one of the flat trails. There were a LOT of kids there. Many, many children were running around. The weather was wonderful, so it was understandable. Almost perfect spring break weather. After walking the flat trail, we just went home and ate lunch. I watched Tuck Everlasting for the first time. Of course, I cried at the end. It was sappy and sweet.

Yesterday, Sister and I took another short road trip, a little bit longer than to the mountain, to visit one of the colleges that she is interested in attending in the fall. There was a young man who attended the school that guided a short, one-hour walking tour around the campus. It is a large campus. While we were in that area, Sister treated me to lunch and we also stopped in at a Cingular store. We really stopped in to get directions to the college, but the lady that worked there also told us about the different calling plans that they have. Pretty cool. I don't know if Cingular is the company that I will want to go with. I would prefer to shop around a little bit more.

Sister and I also checked out three more movies yesterday: Vanity Fair with Reese Witherspoon (and Bob Hoskins *grin*), Henry V, because Brother has been wanting to check that out for some time, and The Station Agent. I have been interested in the last movie since it came out. I am just hoping that it was a good pick. Some of the movies that we have brought home have been somewhat embarrasing. We watched Vanity Fair the other evening, and it wasn't so bad. Some parts brought out my soft, sentimental side. But, Sister says that the ending was happy, or good, or something like that. Not too many people died completely, so she might be right.

That leaves today. Quite a few loads of laundry were done today. I also got some real sleep the evening last. I think I will also get some real sleep tonight. And tomorrow will be lots of fun. Pizza and a movie with the kids at church, swimming with Little Sister, and the mystery dinner theater with Bestest Best Buddy. Good times, good times. I hope that you have a wonderful day tomorrow as well!

Don't fool or be fooled too much.

Dubo Yubou Spubeak "Zuboom Spubeak"?

My brain is currently on vacation. It left sometime last Friday, about 1:20pm, I think. Spring Break, so far, has been nothing special to speak of. That's not completely true. Yesterday was lovely, and Saturday was nice too. I have had a good time. It's just not flying to Barcelona or tripping around Rome in a pair of espadrillas, a flowered sundress, and a large, floppy straw hat. That's probably a good thing though, as I don't speak a bit of Italian. The only Italian words that I know are those that are related to The Olive Garden. Maybe I should eat there more often. Mmm... eggplant! Nah, I really like my grandma's eggplant spaghetti better. Besides, I'd rather go camping right now than hop across the pond.

I don't drink nor do I plan on drinking, but I feel like I understand, at least a little bit, what a hangover must feel like. I am fairly certain that mine is caused by a combination of elevated blood sugar and sleep deprivation. Again last night, I stayed up until about 3:00 in the morning watching season one DVDs of Dead Like Me with Sister and Brother. Certain amounts of ice cream and soda were consumed as well. Oh, the throbbing pain of idiocy. I slept a little bit late, so perhaps it won't be too big a deal.

Perhaps getting out and running would alleviate some of the pain. That and drinking more water. It isn't raining today as it has been for the past few. I very much hope that it remains sunny and dry so that I can go hiking. Plans to drag the siblings, BBB, and whoever else I can get to come along have already been formulated. But, not today. It will still be too wet. There is also cleaning and packing to be done here at home. In a little less than a month now, BBB and I will be on our own. Exhiliration and anxiety.

Our apartment will be my third move within the past year. It seems like it has been longer since Helen went home, and still not that long at all. I haven't been out to visit, or called her niece or brother-in-law. I do want to, but I don't have any clue what to say, other than to tell them that I'm moving... again. *sigh* It seems that the changing of address kind of mimics what's happening in other areas of my life. I feel quite fluid right now. There are a few fairly stable factors at play (same job; still keeping in constant contact with my family; my best friend and I are still friends and neither has dismembered the other, yet). There is just a desire to root somewhere. Not a physical place. I have a sneaking suspicion that some might say I am "looking for myself." I don't know if that's a bad way to look at it, but I do feel a little lost to myself. What do I believe and why do I believe that? Who am I in the context of my relationships? Do my relationships define who I am?

One thing that I do know, as certainly as I can know anything, is that my relationship with my Redeemer has defined me in a different way, redefined me. He has made me better than I could ever be on my own. If we had to wear our souls for our bodies, I can guarantee you that mine wouldn't be a very pretty sight. But it looks exceedingly better than it used to. A redeeming work through the blood of Jesus Christ has wrought this soul into something much more comely than it's previously gnarled, scarred, and jagged self. All I could do was cry out. He gave the grace. I received the forgiveness.

Disclaimer: As introspective as this may sound, I'm still a total garbanzo bean. But I know that you love me anyway! (well, you didn't have to make that face, hmph!)

Romanticizing My Childhood

I walked to church this evening for the first time in a while, at least two months. My feet know the way to go. They know where to fall to avoid holes; they can almost gracefully balance on the familiar curbs of the familiar homes. My entire teenage life was spent in this neighborhood. My feet have walked miles and miles around this area. When they drained the lake years ago, my feet took me across the alien landscape in search of the abandoned pearly shells of gastropods. In that late fall/early winter, the drained lakebed looked like an ancient desert that was years without the thought of hydration (nevermind the little spots of quickmud that sucked our adventurous little feet into its frigid depths up to our calves, stealing our shoes and caking our socks: icky!).

The recent news of the death of our beloved canine companion, the only dog that we as a family have ever had, has been sort of hulking in the corner of my mind. When he left along with our step-dad, it didn't occur to me that I would never see him alive again. I wasn't a young child either; I had seventeen years. Walking to church and just looking around this neighborhood kind of made me feel a little like I did when I found out about Ben.

BBB and I will be moving into an apartment not too long from now. This will be my last month or so in this neighborhood which has been my home for the greater part of my maturation. Almost exactly half of my present lifetime, more precisely. Our family synthesized here when I was about 10 or 11. I will be (the ghastly age of) 21 later this year (horrors!). There are so many small, seemingly insignificant things to remember about this area. Three different houses in this area have been called my home. A few more could have been considered my part-time homes, as I spent so much time with my friends. These have even overlapped twice. Two of my part-time homes became my full-times homes at different times. This area has been the backdrop for a rich, vivid, and full adolescent life.

The more that I think on it, there is a certain amount of personal symbolism in my leaving. I have been a teenager here, cared for by those who love me. It is time for me to strike out as a young adult and try to begin to care for myself (though I still fully intend to mooch leftovers from Grandma's house as often as possible). I am leaving old friends whom I have long since lost contact with. Also being left are my adolescent hurts and sorrows, my misadventures, some fond memories. I will still have them, but lacking the constant visual reminder, they will continue to fade. But this is not a bad thing at all. There is still church to attend out this way. There are friends that do still live here that I intend to visit. My bicycle or car can easily bring me here when I need or desire to come. And BBB and I both like the new area that we are moving to. I am just a little sad to think that I will never again live in this neighborhood. No more walking out my door and strolling around the lake or racing nothing-and-everything down the big hills on my bicycle. Of course, no more falling INTO the lake or crashing my bicycle at the bottom of the hills. Now the only things left to do are to load up the boxes and let the ink dry. This chapter is just about done.

Sunny With a High of 75

There are times when, despite my personal efficacy and self-confidence, I feel like a total flake. It is usually a fleeting feeling, but I think that it really does help in a way. Perhaps it is a sort of conviction. It reminds me of Plato's writing on Socrates. Socrates is quoted as saying something to the effect of, "I am the wisest man alive, because I know that which I do not know." My father has quoted this line a few times and asked the siblings and me if we understood what it meant. In a basic way perhaps, you know your limits. You admit that you do not know everything. If I remember, Socrates took it so far as to say that he knew nothing, or very, very little. Some other philosophers of the skeptical variety postulate that we cannot know anything with certainty.

These kinds of arguments are fun to take on because when attempting to refute the skeptic, you really end up going in circles. "How do you know that we can't know anything with certainty?" one might ask. The skeptic might answer, "We don't even know that." It's similar to playing a game of "Why?" with a young child. You end up going in frustrating circles (I personally often find it amusing. It's fun to watch Little Sister find out that she won't be able to bother the stuffing out of me just by asking me a monosyllabic question repeatedly for five minutes).

Here is a link to the most recent news that I have been able to find about the battle to keep Terri Schiavo's feeding tube from being removed: http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/103-03172005-464611.html. Her feeding tube is currently set to be removed as scheduled, tomorrow afternoon. There are some lawmakers still attempting to prevent this from happening, but there is a good deal of opposition. Removal of Ms. Schiavo's feeding tube will not result in immediate death, but rather starvation, which is not definite in the amount of time that it will take. Lots of praying to be done!

I posted this information on my (still pretty new) xanga a few days ago, but I also wanted to post it on here as I don't think that many of my friends are yet able to tolerate reading both. This morning I would like to ask that you look at the case of Terri Schiavo. You have probably at least heard her name in the news. The website for the foundation that her family has started on her behalf shares this information:

In 1990, Terri Schindler-Schiavo collapsed in the home she shared with her husband, Michael Schiavo. The cause of her collapse is unknown to this day.
Terri fell into a coma but awakened from her comatose state weeks later. She was left in what medical professionals call a "locked in state" with limited abilities to communicate or move.

During the first months that followed Terri's mysterious collapse, she made progress. Medical practitioners noted her efforts to speak and her responsiveness.
To this day, Terri remains disabled. Though she is responsive to stimuli, interacts with her environment and her loved ones and is capable of communicating in limited ways, she is a disabled and vulnerable adult - requiring protection, therapy and the route to recovery.

It also states that she receives food and water via a gastric feeding tube. The reason that her name has been in the news is because her husband has asked that the feeding tube be removed, which would cause death by starvation. Her family is trying to prevent this from happening and have offered to take care of her. That is a very simple idea of what has been a long, difficult, and complicated battle.

This was brought to my attention because I received an e-mail from the American Family Association with a link that allows you to send an e-mail to your Senator and Representative about a bill that was introduced that would hopefully protect people in this situation, the Incapacitated Person's Legal Protection Act (H.R. 1151 and S. 539):

'To amend title 28, United States Code, to provide the protections of habeas corpus for certain incapacitated individuals whose life is in jeopardy, and for other purposes.'
http://capwiz.com/afanet/alert7191461.html - to e-mail representatives

I don't know if anyone else is confused about some of this as much as I am, but I do believe that human life has value. If you want to, use the AFA link and e-mail your Congressmen that way, write your own e-mails or letters to them, or find out their phone numbers and call them. Just do what you are capable of to make your voice and your beliefs known. (And not just on this issue. How do feel about our military's overseas actions? What about Social Security reform? Federal Debt? It's a lot to deal with, but we are all effected and therefore have a right and obligation to inform our government of how we wish to be governed.)

Thanks for bearing with me through this. Please give thanks to God for the life that you have, and all of the little blessings that we let slip under our gratitude radar. Before you do anything else, just especially pray for this family and others like them.

Much love to you all!

Mission 1: Complete

About a month or so ago, Sister posed a challenge for me on her blog. "FIRST CHALLENGE: 25 REASONABLE MEANINGS FOR THE ACRONYM ACT." Since I did not have to go to work today (though I have a good laundry list of things to do around the house, especially cleaning my room!) I have been able to complete the list.

1. Adam Called Todd - Thanks D!
2. Armadillos Caution Truckers - definitely an Arkie, aren't I?
3. Alley Cat Tango - Thanks T!
4. Advocate Civil Treatment
5. Advanced Calculus Torture
6. Airy Crayon Tracings
7. Awesome Canyon Trails
8. Another Crazy Tale - one of my many autobiographies
9. Aardvark Cooking Tutorial
10. American Car Traders
11. Applied Calculus Theories
12. Apeman Called Tarzan
13. Abetting Collared Trainrobbers
14. Archaic Copper Tools
15. Approved Cancer Treatments
16. Apothecaries' Coveted Techniques
17. Aromatherapy Candle Tienda
18. Annotated Chaucer Treasury
19. Angst Corrupted Teenagers - we are, we are, we are
20. Ailurophile Convention Tradeshow - the latest in fur care + massages that make you say "mew" - I thought you might like this one Sis
21. Anemone Coloration Trends
22. Angry Cartoonist's Tirade
23. Arbitration Canceled Today
24. Abundant Canned Tuna
25. Archetypical College Teacher - Dr. K! extremely knowledgeable, cares about his students, upon occasion as intimidating as a grand piano dangling directly above you from a few spindly spider threads

Well Sis, I hope these meet your approval. I also hope that you're having good time at your Aggressive Speaking Tourney, which is probably where you are right now. "You're so far away. Doesn't anybody stay in one place any more?" Send my love to the gals, the guys, Ms. Dusk and Ms. Whiz! And lots of love to you too!

Shivers

As is habit, I am not asleep yet. I actually got off work somewhat early. I got to pester one of my buddies from the floor. (If you're reading this, thanks for letting me bug you! If you're not reading this... uh) After talking with three of the nicest [looking ;)] guys at work for a while, I dashed. I have had a mild craving for egg rolls again. Since today was pay day, I made a run to Wally World after leaving work. One package of vegetable egg rolls and a half gallon of rocky road ice cream hopped into my cart, accompanied me to the check out, and came home with me. The desire for Rocky Road was a result of listening to Joan Jett but singing the Weird Al lyrics with Bestest Best Buddy (BBB) earlier this week. This trip gave me just enough time to drop the goodies at home and run to pick up my friend, our Household Mother Figure (HMF).

When I drive I like to have the radio on. When the radio is on, I like to have the bass turned up. Just about everything sounds better with the right amount of bass. Even Felix Mendelssohn sounds good with it, though there is really no need to improve on his music. Sometimes it is just nice to mix things up by turning the radio off and listening to the hum of the road as you glide along above it.

Since we were both tired and somewhat hungry when I picked her up, she treated me to IHOP for supper. Turkey sandwich. Not bad. Needs spinach.

I am beginning to feel tired. My ears are a little itchy inside. Definitely sleepy. I noticed that BBB bought another movie. Surprise did not markedly register on my face when I realized what movie it was. She may not say so as much, but I believe that she has accused me of being gross, which I most certainly am. But this movie gets really gross to. Needy, nihilistic insomniacs making soap and bombs while beating each other to bloody pulps. A wonderful movie to be sure.

Well, I had better at least try to get some sleep. I have been getting considerably less than is recommended. Maybe I should take some Valerian root and get more exercise.

CONSTANT(ly Missing the Subtext of the Brainy Movie L)INE

I must admit it: I have another love. In addition to this wonderful blogger account, I have recently created an account with xanga.com, under the name senoritazorro (yes. I do indeed know just how original and creative this naming was. I am a college student and do not currently have the time to waste on luxuries like creativity, imagination, sleep, or breathing). The point of creating this second account is mostly for the purpose of interacting with friends who have accounts on xanga, as the posting of comments is exclusive to members. I will probably also try to affect a more relaxed writing style. Or not. I may at some point decide to leave one service for the other, though I cannot say. Another possible scenario would be to post entries simultaneously to both accounts. I do not know if there are any regulations of any sort against such behavior, as I hold the copyright to my thoughts (I think). Rambling on...

Another recent development has left me feeling a little colder than before. Especially my neck and shoulders. Yes, I have been shorn. My hair was somewhat long, to the bottom of my shoulder blades I believe. As Sister did, I have opted to donate my hair to Locks of Love in the hopes that it is long enough and in good enough condition. I have been told that I have very nice hair and I accept this statement. It is full, thick hair with natural high- and low-lights. A little bit of conditioner goes a long way. Sometimes I can get away without using any.

I do not currently miss my long hair necessarily. I do like the hair cut. It will just take getting used to seeing myself with short hair. Since today, technically yesterday, was my first day to wear it short, I will probably be mostly adapted to how it feels by Saturday. There will be more people to shock, which is always fun. I enjoy attention, preferably positive. Geek? Why, yes I am!

Sleep must be attained within twenty-five minutes for optimum operation of all mechanisms and processes tomorrow. I will go count naked sheep now. G'night and God bless!

Dismantling [personal] Atomic Bombs

If I asked if there are any U2 fans out there, I would probably (hopefully) get a good response. They are not my favorite band, though I do really, really, really like their music, and other aspects of the band. Brother let me borrow his copy of their latest release, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. I have not been able to listen to it through, but I did start listening to it this morning while I was getting ready for school. The majority of the music that I listen to is either Christian Rock, Christian Urban, Classical, Prairie Home Companion (on NPR), or the Midnight Special (on NPR). But, I also like listening to the music that Brother and Sister like to listen to as well. They have good ears. And it's nice to find common ground. Music can be very good at bringing people together. (Unfortunately, it can also have a polarizing effect, but that's another post, or not.)

Desires to post positive thoughts and discussions have been pinging in my chest both yesterday and today. I want to share that I am happy about a new position that I have started training for and working on at the company with which I am employed. I am now a transcriber, and so far I am enjoying it. Having a big head I also kind of enjoyed my friends from the floor telling me that they would miss me, since I am being holed away back in transcription. (I am SUCH a garbanzo bean! Me and my ego.) But, I really will try to make it a point to go see them on breaks as much as I can. Hmm...

Anywho. As much as I am in elan about the new position (which actually may not be definite, depending on how I perform during training, but so far, so good), recent events have weighed on me internally. A couple in my church family lost one of their grown daughters who was married with children of her own. She was not much older than me. What to say or do? And, this may not seem as heavy to some, my siblings and I found out that the only dog that we have ever lived with and intimately cared for passed away in November. Life is crazy, so the reasons that we didn't find out until now are crazy, but for the sake of brevity (hahaha), irrelevant. If you know me, you know. [Divorce sucks the life and souls out of people!]

Sister told me of the thing the other night when I went to visit after work. Mom and we kiddies were sent a picture of Ben (our big, lovable, lug of a dog) that was taken in our old back yard Before. It's a very good picture of him. There is a message that was typed on the picture that is addressed to us from Ben. For the most part my brain is very much fixed on the present moment. When Ben had to leave us, I didn't think about the fact that I would most likely not see him again. This almost makes me mad. Not at any person, that I can tell, but just at the situations. [Insert euphemisms here!] Maybe it's a mixed emotional cocktail with a splash of regret thrown in too. I didn't try to keep in contact very well, though it might not have mattered. Truly, I wouldn't whether or not it would have mattered unless I had tried harder to keep in touch. [Cry of Job here!] It's not the end of the world for us. But, Ben was also important to the person who sent us the picture of him. Ben was probably one of the few, if not only, companions that he had. I don't know that for sure. I do know that he dearly loved Ben. [gnashing of teeth!]

Well, brevity indeed! I am so tired. I have to work tomorrow too. Then there are more things to do after work.

#1- hug Mom, Sister, Brother, and Little Sister bunches!

I need sleep. I need a shoulder. I need to grow up.

I need you, Lord!

Incredible Lemony Saw Hitch Hide and Seek

I don't know if I can make any sense this early in the morning. Sleep will hopefully be achieved in no more than twenty minutes, but I have been wanting to post for some time now and felt compelled to indulge now while I am awake. There are many things that I have wanted to talk about, but haven't been able to, so this post might be a bit copious. My apologies in advance.

1. HouseholdMotherFigure(HMF) and I saw The Incredibles this evening. What a "WICKED!" movie! *big grin* BBB was going to try to see it with us, but was unable to this time. We will have to be more... resourceful next time.
2. I have very slowly been able to stop some of the bad habits that tormented me. And this was not accomplished through active pursuit of a goal. I have prayed about these things before, and I just got too busy to worry about getting upset with myself when I backslid. Then, I just got too busy to backslide!
3. I have replaced some of the aforementioned discarded habits with new ones, though not so odious. The first is the habit of sleeping in my car. Everyone is different, but I really like the feeling that I get when I first slip into my car when it has been sitting in the sun on a mild, but sunny day. It feels similar to a sauna, probably aided by the leather seats that retain heat well. It's very relaxing. I used this method to get some much needed rest while I was quite sick. The way that this has become bad is because I missed my Spanish class on Monday. Unfortunately, I did not do it unintentionally either. I woke up in time to get to class, but I decided that I was too tired to try. Shame on me.
4. The second bad habit is of course wasting my time. I have been reading a lot of my friends' blogs, and just random blogs. I'm a very curious person and I suppose I feel a little bit more connected to them when I read about what is going on and how they feel about it. But, I have been spending more time doing that than I need to.
5. The doctor prescribed another round of antibiotics because of the condition of my right ear. Hearing has increased in my right ear, but there is still a good deal of distortion, which makes things confusing, though I have kind of enjoyed it. Things just sound a little different. I have also had the chance to bug more people by repeating either, "Huh?" or "What did you say?"
6. BBB and HMF said something the other night to the affect that I have ADD, or something similar. I cannot disagree. There is not enough evidence that I can think of to refute this hypothesis, and there is a fairly substantial amount of evidence to corroborate their assertion.
7. I went to the mall with a friend from work today (well, technically yesterday) and noticed another bad habit that I have probably carried for a while: I seem to enjoy pointing out my flaws. Repeatedly. Certainly there is no problem with honesty and airing some dissatisfactions with oneself, in an attempt to improve upon these qualities. However, there is only so much whining that some people can stand, she didn't say anything about it, and I may be over-analyzing the situation. Still, while trying to get to know someone and become better friends with them, it would probably be better to just enjoy each other's company and "accentuate the positive."(that is such a cool song! The Andrew's Sisters were some amazing ladies! And Bing Crosby sang that song with them as well.)

Well, enough about me. "Sleep shall fall across my eyes as an anvil graces itself on the crown of an unsuspecting cartoon character." Perhaps it shall not be that hard to snatch some Z's, but just in case I will try to think like McGyver. Or at least make use of one of the numerous Wally World bags that has accumulated in my room. I really need to put those things away. Actually, I really need to clean my room. And do my homework. And spend more time with the siblings. And remember to ask them what Dad asked me to ask them, but I forgot to ask them and so will have to ask them tomorrow evening after work. Did I mention that I AM going to sleep now? G'night and may God bless you!

More Interesting Internet Blog Stuff

I have been doing some of "those" online quizzes, as evidenced by the perty picture and corny text below. It doesn't really mean much to me, though it is nice to hear positive, encouraging words. I suppose that you can only take these kinds of things for as much as they worth (How else would I be able to get a unicorn picture on my page? I know. Not a good reason.)

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you awy from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Interesting Internet Blog Stuff

you are orchid #DA70D6

Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be. Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Magenta, Burgundy, Flame, Brick

I attended, and participated in, my first ever Bunko game last night. It was a lot of fun! I have read about it in the paper and heard about it from friends, but I never really knew just what Bunko was about, or how to play. Well, the game itself is fun, but it was also a lot of fun getting to meet the ladies that were there, and to visit with some old friends that I have not seen for a while. And Sister got to come! Sister won two times, her winnings being some lovely candles, and Antipasti book, two bottles of red nail polish, two red ink pens, and some red M&Ms, among the ones that I can remember. I one once, but my prize was a really cool red plaid purse with black stripes. I was telling sister that I need to get a skirt to match, some fishnet hose, black boots, and I would have a really sweet outfit. (This special outfit would probably only be worn to go to the movies with Sister and Brother or BBB; or to walk around the house singing some Nancy Sinatra tune to myself.)

The theme of the party, if you haven't already caught it, was "Shades of Red." We were to wear something red (I wore my read "Nashville" t-shirt; not very dressy, but quite red), many of the foods were red (like the Red Velvet Cake: Yum!), and most of the decorations and gifts were red or had red in them. The nails of the fingers typing this entry are currently bright red, as Sister painted them with the nail polish that she won. Loads of fun!

There have been a number of fun/nice things this week. Getting to talk with old friends, spend some more time getting to know new friends, and the possibility of a new job with the company that I work for. It is not a certain thing, but I am supposed to talk to a lady about a data-entering position on Monday. Excitement and exhaustion are swirling around in me right now. As well as more blood sugar than I care to think about right now. Hopefully not too much. I do not currently have blood sugar problems, but I do need to keep an eye on my health, which is really always a good idea anyway.

Well, I am speaking from a partial delirium at this point, so there really is no focus to this writing that I can discern. So, I will try to get some good sleep so that I will be awake and alert and ready to learn in church tomorrow. I hope that you all have a good night and may God bless you!

Woe is My Bank Account

Well, I am sure that it is not too bad, and as things go, there are plenty of other things that could be worse. Today will be the third day that I have not gone into work because of being sick. It isn't much fun sitting around the house being bored to tears and aching to pieces. But, I felt that it would still be better than going to work and spreading even more germs in an already germ-saturated environment. It would also be quite embarrasing if gross stuff was oozing out of my ears onto my desk, telephone, or anything else at work. That would just be digusting and humiliating. There is still quite a bit of otic discharge, though the turbidity and viscosity of the oozings have changed (Does anyone know if I am using these terms appropriately? If I was going for word count I could say that the stuff coming out of my ear is thicker in consistency and somewhat more vivid in coloring, not so watery. Yeah, I think that those words are used correctly, shorter.)

However, despite the amount of gunk that is coming out, the swelling and pain have decreased considerably. I am hoping that the gunk will decrease too, but I think that I will need to exercise some of that patience that I prayed for. That is also an interesting topic: patience, more specifically, praying for patience. I have joked about it with friends at church and school. Some people say that you should not pray for patience because God, being a generous, loving God who does desire to answer our prayers, will most certainly put you in situations that will teach you patience. How else would we end up with gridlocked rush hour traffic and those terrible afterschool grocery lines. Some of those people probably prayed for patience. I know that I am trying to be funny, but truly, a lot of my prayers have been answered, especially the ones for patience. You might not believe it, but I could tell you some funny....

I am beginning to go off on a tangent. I have been reading some other blogs, and some of the postings are very long. I don't think that this is bad, but I don't think that it would be fair to inflict too much of my ways of thinking on you all at once. It should be more gently, gradually done. Otherwise I would probably be receiving more complaints of nightmares, acute paranoia, and toe jambs in conjunction with reading my blog. Thankfully, that has not been the case yet. Or you know, it could just be the antibiotics talking. When I talked with Sister a little bit earlier this afternoon, we were both a little bit crazy. BBB said that I was just punch drunk: maybe from the earache? Well, I don't know. I do know that I look forward to being a wholly healthy person again soon.

If I don't get better very soon, I may not have any money at all. Then how would I buy my spinach? If you see anything about the National Spinach for Fiona campaign, I hope that you will open your hearts, and your pocketbooks, to aid in this terrible situation. But, until you hear about that, please seriously keep the Asian tsunami victims in your prayers, and check out some of the ways that people have helped, and maybe some ways that you can help. May God bless our combined efforts!

I Will Live to Love Another Day

Ya know, I don't know if there really are that many people out there that are cornier than I am. You see, I am a lover and not a fighter, therefore I will live to love, and not fight another day. I might have said, "I Will Fight to Live Another Day." In most situations, that is what I would do. Though, honestly I would love to live another day too, but as mama always used to say, "Life is like a box of chocolates; other people have already taken one bite and left the half-eaten ones that they didn't like." Isn't that what your mother always said to you? Hmm, it must be a southern thing.

The point that I am not really trying to make is that when I saw the doctor on Wednesday, which I believe was yesterday, he just said that I have an infection in my ear (didn't mention if it was related to my head cold), granted, a really gross infection. My right ear has been "weeping" for two days now, and sometimes the tears are a little red. Yech! It was enough to have BBB, Sister, and myself rather worried. But, no fear: the doctor prescribed some antibiotics for the infection, and another prescription for the pain, only to be taken as needed so that I can sleep. If the pain isn't too bad, I should be able to sleep without it. This being the second day that I have taken the antibiotics, the swelling around my eustachian tube already seems to have significantly decreased, and the earache is not so agonizingly painful as it had been, though there is still a steady stream of drainage.

There is also wonderful news to be shared: ¡Hoy es el cumpleaños de mi mejor amiga! I am not certain if the grammar is correct, but today BBB and I are the same age! Probably for as long as I have known her it has always seemed to me that she is the older of the two of us. It may be because she is more mature and because I often seem to look younger than I am. I am not certain, but there is probably also a degree of respect involved in this perception as well. In many ways I look up to her (yup, she's taller than me too; who isn't?). And if she is reading this, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIDDO!!

Agony, Misery, and Woe

I hope that you do not mind permitting me a little melodrama. I will try to contain myself as much as I can, but I feel somewhat awful right now. Anything but the vaguest sense of temporal passage has left me, so I am not certain of specific dates, but I believe that it was a little more than a week ago that I first fell ill. Fell ill hard. As of last Thursday I felt quite recovered, enough to go to work on Saturday. Well, as you might know, I did not take as good of care of myself as I should have once I got to feeling better. Ironically enough, I neither got enough sleep nor water. I don't know how much those factors came into play, but I started to feel icky again at work on Saturday. I was well enough to make it to church on Sunday, but decided not to stay for the evening service in favor of coming home and sleeping.

Monday found me sniffling a little bit more, but I made it through school and work without too much trouble. However, when I awoke Tuesday morning, before my alarm even went off, I felt about as good as though I had been turned into sausage in my sleep. Apparently I had not even begun to understand how bad one can feel, because shortly after I cleaned up, I developed an awful earache. Not a dull, mild pain, but an awful, agonizing ache. I had a test in Chemistry, and we cannot make up tests, so I decided to go ahead and take the test but skip lab. This will probably (hopefully) be my lowest test grade of the semester. It is hard to concentrate on balancing addition reactions between alkanes and halogens when you feel like your own head is undergoing a series of combustion reactions.

After the test I just came home, took a couple of ibuprofen tablets and tried to sleep, which wasn't easy either. But, after sleeping for about forty-five minutes in my car, since it was nice and toasty from being out in the sun, I came inside and slept for another three or four hours. My ear was somewhat numb and I couldn't hear very well out of it when BBB took me out to dinner, followed by a short roam around a local bookstore before she had to go to work. Sleep has since been somewhat elusive. I took two more ibuprofen before trying to lie down again. Around midnight my ear felt like it was starting to drain, so I put some paper towels under that ear and have been trying to lie only on that side. I do have a doctor's appointment tomorrow(actually, later today), for the first time in a few years. Let us hope that it is not anything too serious. It's miserable feeling miserable.

My love to Sister, Brother, and Little Sister: I hope that you all are feeling better!

"I Would Like to Thank..."

Well, if there are any foreign invading microbes left in my body that are related to the ones that caused my weekend episode of ill health, they are on the decline. I feel better today than I have for a while. I was able to make it through school and work with few problems. Also, I found out at work that one of the supervisors nominated me for a recognition of good work. Me!? Yeah, I am still fairly shocked, but I am also grateful that they think I am doing a good job, even if it is only the one supervisor. Some days I feel like I am not doing a very good job at all, though I s'pose that many things are that way.

Actually, this kind of inspires me to do a better job at work, to try harder. To me it is similar to making a good grade in school or having some other kind of reward for going, studying, and doing the work: it makes me want to continue to improve, to work harder.

Speaking of which, this will be a short entry because I have Spanish homework to do. Buenas Noches!

Is Some Explanation Needed?

Probably not. One of the potentionally annoying facets of me is that I like to over-explain things sometimes. To get to the point, the reason that the previous entry has its title - Back in [Sn]ac[k]tion - is because there was this awful monster en mi estómago que se llama hambre (in my stomach calling itself hunger) just before I went to Spanish class! Ya see, I accidentally slept until about twenty-five minutes until my first class started this morning. Since I would already be late, and my teacher already knows that I was sick, I contemplated sleeping in and skipping my first class. However, I rose up, put my books in my bag, threw on something mostly decent, and headed for the door. I did grab a package of cheese crackers to eat on the way, and I drank a small glass of juice. So, that's why my tummy was a bit rumbly. If one is built like a work horse, one cannot subsist on a breakfast like that to get them through five or six hours.

When I got home from school I had a lovely lunch of black beans and sliced hot dogs, with a piece of wheat bread, and about a half cup of 'nilla ice cream with some cubes of cantaloupe. That poor acid-swimming monster has been quieted.

CHALLENGED: Your beloved Fair One has been challenged by another blogger, one Super Fox, a mischievous mastermind of uncharted neuronal activity levels! As of Monday, February 7, 2005, she posted her challenge for myself to a mental duel of sorts. I have accepted this dare. If you wish to know the nature of her challenge, or wish to accept the challenge yourself, I would direct you to her entry containing said provocation, Recovered and Soon to be BACK IN ACTION!!!

At the present time, I need to go accept another challenge: I have chores that I need to be about doing. So, I hope that you have a wonderful day!

(P.S. And thank you for continuing to give me a reason for continuing to write this blasted blog. If you didn't read this blog, what other poor soul would be kind enough to suffer through my dillusions of grandeur? You do a good job! In fact, you deserve a raise! I think about 2.5 % more than I pay you now would be appropriate. And is that a new shirt that you're wearing? Don't you look spiffy! *wink* Seriously, lovies to each of you!)

Back in [Sn]ac[k]tion!

I don't think that the title is that good, but this is a quickie. The illness that washed over me this past weekend is waning, so I am at school. I have Spanish class in just a few minutes. I was also able to make it through Chemistry class and the lab yesterday rather uneventfully. A few sniffles here and there, maybe a cough or two. Our HMF(HouseholdMotherFigure) gave me some good decongestant/cough suppressant before I left for school, and that helped tremendously!

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to make it through my regular shift at work last night. The medicine had probably worn off because the sniffling, near-sneezing, and coughing would not be subsided. Thankfully, the supervisors were understanding.

Well, I better get to class.

Quiero apprender hablar espanol.

Continuing Neocortical Degradation

I might be acting a little overdramatic about the whole neocortical-apoptosis-thing. (And if you are wondering just what "apoptosis" means, http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=apoptosis has some fairly good definitions.) However, it is Monday, and I am still sick. For the good of mankind I have decided to stay home from school and work today, but I really hope that I get better soon. I have Chemistry class tomorrow!

If you must know, my current state of being is that of a drippy, coughy, sneezing, wheezing, digusting body of germ-ridden, snot-spewing, aching human flesh. "But," I hear you ask, " does your mouth feel clean?" To that I respond that you must ask yourself a question: "Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?!" Now really, what kind of question is that to ask of someone that is ill? Of course my mouth doesn't feel clean. The sinuses that are towards the back of the roof of my mouth are kind of stinging because of all the drainage, and my inner ears feel about the same way.

But, other than all that, I am unfortunately quite mentally alert and raring to go. In fact, I woke up at about 2:30 am this morning. I couldn't get back to sleep, and my alarm wasn't set to go off until 6:30 am, becuase I had every intention of feeling better and going to school. Things that I needed to remember, that I wanted to write to people, certain homework problems, and movie musicals were swirling through my congested, germy little head. I may have been able to snatch one or two more zz's after I got some cough medicine and laid back down, but I mostly just lay there trying to clear my mind. Sorrier am I that I was unable even to go to church yesterday, that's how sick I was.

On the bright side, I cannot be sick forever. I am hoping that I will be well enough to participate in humanity (and Chemistry) again by tomorrow, or at the latest Wednesday. Until then, I will continue to brush and floss my teeth so that once again I may be able to tell you that, truly, my mouth does feel clean!

And what a happy day that will be.

Sad Side of Still Somewhat Sick

I am still somewhat sick, as I have been all day today. Right now, I am just puttering around on the computer and listening to my favorite Christian rock/urban music radio show. What's really cool is that the station is just down about five minutes drive from here. And you can call or e-mail in requests for songs that you would like to hear. So, though I am still fair-to-middlin' in terms of physical homeostasis and comfort, I am enjoying listening to the songs that I like.

Almost everyone at home is sick, even Little Sister. She's really pretty miserable. I don't remember much of what it is like to be young and yucky-feeling, but I know from seeing and listening to her that it is a draining experience. The little girl that you usually cannot get to sit down for more than a few minutes, she barely had the energy to walk from the diningroom table to the kitchen. She's just pooped. I know that Sister and Brother are only feeling a little bit better. I got to bug Brother while he was trying to do the dishes, and even earlier when he was helping to put away the groceries. Sister, Brother, and Little Sister are the most awesome siblings. I could not get better siblings if I searched, paid money, or gave up internal organs.

While I did not feel 100%, I still felt well enough to push myself a bit. I did some more of those exercises that are supposed to be beneficial to my back, and then I also went for a 40-minute, easy-paced walk, followed by a roughly 15-minute split, round-trip bike ride. I took a long break to read and catch my breathe, but I didn't feel too bad. However, I did get a ride home from mommy: I am, in the end, usually a bit of a wimp.

BIG NEWS: Tobymac's new album, Welcome to Diverse City, is now out in stores. Though I have not heard all of the songs yet, it's Tobymac. I would like to give my officious stamp of approval and strong recommendation to this album. If you have the opportunity, check it out; it will definitely be worth your buck and your time. The website is http://www.tobymac.com.

The Past Week (or so) in Review

Hoy es viernes. There is a beautiful weekend ahead: nice weather, no school, no work. And I am sick. I understand that this kind of thing happens. What can you do?

Honestly, I do not mind being sick. I may or may not have mentioned this before, but I enjoy being sick, for a couple of reasons. First of all, I am sick so infrequently that the respite from good health often helps me appreciate that good health all the more. Another reason is that I tend to take better care of myself when I am feeling under the weather. Por ejemplo: today, after coming home from school coughing, I called in to excuse myself from work tonight. While I was eating lunch, I also thumbed through the March issue of Runner's World. There were all kinds of cool articles, but there was one about abdominal exercises that caught my eye. It offered two good exercises to do if you have lower back pain. I do. It sometimes causes sleeping problems because my hips will become sore as well, and I sometimes have pain sitting in the chairs at school or work, I think from my weak back muscles. After letting my lunch set for a while I did one set each of the exercises, as well as some push-ups. Feeling a little bit better, I also took a long, warm soak, cleaned me hair (which was all greasy and icky), and did some of my reading for my Philosophy class.

Our HouseholdMotherFigure(HMF) came home this evening, feeling even worse than I do, but she helped me to feel better. She gave me some cough medicine, which has been MUCH help, and some Vicks Vaporub to help a little more. I do feel better!

~~<@>~~~<@>~~~<@>~~~<@>~~~<@>~~

After napping for about two hours, I tried to fight waking for about 15 minutes, but I am not a very good fighter. Even though I do feel a little sluggish, my brain still feels like it's going full-speed ahead. I ate a yummy dinner of steamed broccoli and plum, a slice of salmon loaf, and a toasted piece of wheat bread. I had some sweet and sour sauce to go with the cooked plum and broccoli : Mmm, Mmm, Mm! (Probably somewhat to my detriment, there are few occasions when I do NOT have an appetite.) Having been perked a little bit by an easy-down supper, I have checked me e-mail and am itching to write. So, I will try to give a brief (HA!) update on the past week's developments.

SATURDAY, Jan. 29th: Local department store had a very good sale. I spent probably $5 more than I needed to, but I don't regret it. Good buys. Later, Little Sister and I walked up to the library, had a good time reading a book called Scranimals, about funny animal/animal and animal/fruit or vegetable combinations (Potatoad, Rhinocerose, etc.). Even Later, Brother and I went to a Christian rock concert. Brother a little sick, but we had a good time. Blessed to get to go. Met local Christian rock radio DJ's after concert. Cool guys.

SUNDAY, Jan. 30th: Church. Visited with Dad. Choir practice. Fifth Sunday Sing at church. Fellowship after service. Visited family: all sick :( .

MONDAY, Jan. 31st: School. Work.

TUESDAY, Feb. 1st: Took tax papers to Grandma. Her tax man is going to do my taxes as well. (Does anyone here Handel?) School. Work. Hung out with BBB after work.

WEDNESDAY, Feb. 2nd: School. NO WORK! Got some stuff done around the house. Cut some bangs for myself. Kept myself from cutting ALL my hair off. Helped Sister with Chemistry homework. Short church: most of us went to the visitation of a dear member of the church who passed away on Monday. I did not know him very well, but he was a kind, funny, godly man. Helped Sister some more with Chemistry, though probably not that much help. Hung out with BBB again :) .

THURSDAY, Feb. 3rd: Ate lunch with a dear older friend. She made us some chicken salad sandwiches. School. Work. ALIEN[microbe]S TOOK OVER MY BODY, FOLDED SOME OF MY LAUNDRY, DID SOME OF MY CHEMISTRY HOMEWORK, AND CONTEMPLATED THE MEANING OF THE UNIVERSE, LEAVING MY CEREBRAL CORTEXT IN A SHAMBLES!!

And we are now back to today: School. Stayed home sick from work. Aside from feeling like I have a bit of neocortical apoptosis going on, I feel that I have mentally recovered from Thursday. I am not certain exactly what happened, but it was a little bit scary. Chemistry homework AND folding my laundry? Oh my, I think that I also emptied the bathroom trash can! Maybe I shouldn't worry about getting better too quickly.

I will now go brush and floss my teeth, smear on some Vick's, and count my blessings.

He Did It Again!

Mr. Most-Awesome-Chemistry-Teacher did it again. This afternoon in class, he performed a demonstration of combustion. He made something 'splode! He did it last semester too, in our first semester chemistry class. He told everyone to move to the back of the class and he put a large, probably 50-gallon, glass jug on the desk with a small amount of fuel in it, and then ignited it with a match. The ensuing explosion blew out the ceiling tile above his desk. CHEMISTRY ROCKS!!

On the serious side, he did explain what took place on the molecular level, how it wasn't just the fuel catching fire, but it was the combination of the evaporated fuel and the oxygen that it had mixed with inside of the jug. In fact, dear children, that is what combustion is: "the burning of a fuel by oxidation with oxygen in the air (according to my textbook, Fundamentals of General, Organic, and Biological Chemistry, 4th ed., McMurry and Castellion)." We also learned about chlorofluorocarbons today, how they cause pollution. CHEMISTRY ROCKS!!

Okay, I had better get myself hence to sleep before anyone reads this and decides to defenestrate me, again. I hope that you have a good night, and dream of lovely, correctly balanced chemical equations!

Forensic Nursing is a Possibility

I have really not done very much research as to what kinds of career I might be getting into as a nurse, but one of the options that I have briefly looked into is that of forensic nursing. According to the International Association of Forensic Nurses, "Forensic Nursing is the application of nursing science to public or legal proceedings; the application of the forensic aspects of health care combined with the bio-psycho-social education of the registered nurse in the scientific investigation and treatment of trauma and/or death of victims and perpetrators of abuse, violence, criminal activity and traumatic accidents."

Those who know me well, and you know who you are, could tell you that for quite a while I wanted to be a forensic pathologist. The most likely career paths here would be a coroner or medical examiner, depending on the resident state's system. North Carolina Wesleyan College's Forensic Pathology Information Page lists establishing the cause and estimating the time of death, inferring the type of weapon used, and establishing the identity of the deceased, among the responsibilities of a forensic pathologist. As well as I can remember, and what I have recounted to those who were willing to listen, I have wanted to be a forensic pathologist since about the fifth grade. And there were a number of influencing factors:

• My interest in anything morbid and dark


• Characters on shows that I watched with mom


• A developing (though weak) analytical curiosity


• I liked the idea of helping to "solve" a crime and catch the bad people

Since I have more recently fallen into an interest in the broad field of nursing, I though that I had perhaps left this previous childhood ambition behind. However, a career in forensic nursing sounds like it might be just the ticket. I still am not certain of just what I will be doing. It will require a lot more prayer, listening, learning, and not wretching. Can I do it? Not on my own. But I am looking forward to seeing what I will be doing.

I better start by not being lazy and going to class. Have a good day and may God bless you according to His abundant mercy!

You Like What?!

A few semesters ago, two to be exact, I was very blessed to be in the class of an amazing composition teacher. She asked to keep journals, though not a daily journal like a diary. Occasionally she would give us a topic to write on. One of the assignments was something like, "List 50 things that make you happy." That was one of our first assignments, as I remember, because we also used it as an ice breaker in class. She had us say our name and one thing off of the list. I chose "hanging upside down." I do enjoy hanging upside.

Well, today in philosophy we barely touched on the nature of certainty, or the question, "Is there any one thing certain?" Our teacher pretty much got it down to saying that the only certain thing is that thoughts occur. I don't know precisely how I tied these two ideas together in my head, but there have been a few times when people said that they want to get to know me better, so they ask me what I like, or what makes me happy. As I knew when I was doing that assignment for my composition teacher, what makes me happy today won't necessarily be the same thing that makes me happy next year, next month, next week, tomorrow, or even an hour from now (an hour from now, sleep will be the number one thing on my happy list).

So, giving a nod to the fluid nature of my mind's judgement of pleasing items, activities, and thoughts, a current, up to the moment (as of 11:42:24 pm 1-24-05) list would look something like this (for the most part in no specific order):

1. Being a Christian
2. Being able to freely live a Christian life
3. Chemistry class with Mr. Most-awesome-chemistry-teacher-ever
4. Spanish class with Ms. Wonderful-spanish-teacher
5. Running
6. Eating ice cream
7. Spinach
8. New socks
9. New crayons
10. Drawing
11. Showing people my drawings, and them liking the drawings
12. Writing
13. Reading
14. Learning
15. Pretending that I can juggle
16. Hanging out with BBB
17. Chillin' with Sis, Bro, and Lil Sis
18. Sharp Cheddar cheese, tomatoes, and turkey
19. Going to church
20. Listening to music
21. Christian rock/urban music
22. Listening to Lil Sis talk about animals
23. Playing with my hair
24. Having my hair styled/braided by someone else
25. Making music with my nose
26. Root beer
27. Cinnamon Raisin bread
28. Watching movies with Sis, Bro, Lil Sis, and BBB
29. Talking on the phone with good friends
30. Taking care of my car
31. Bicycling
32. Pretending that I'm Evil Knievel's granddaughter
33. Talking with Grandma
34. Cooking
35. Making things
36. Helping out those who need help
37. Being right
38. Watching time/nature/mutant squirrels/life/people go by
39. Listening to BBB tell a story
40. Listening to Sis or Bro tell a story
41. Telling Lil Sis a story
42. Remembering
43. Playing with make-up
44. Using big words
45. Learning new big words
46. Trying to speak Spanish
47. Flirting with birds, cats, or dogs
48. Driving the back way home from school to see the horses
49. Driving Lil Sis the back way home from school to show her the horses
50. Spending time with the whole family!

That is not even remotely close to being anything like a nearly complete list of things that I enjoy or that make me happy. There millions of billions of other things that I enjoy, from general to specific, but I don't think that I have the time. I will instead start a new list:

1. ZzzzzzzzzZzzzzZzzzzZzzZzzZzzZzzZz z z z z z z...

P.S. What do you like? Do you have your own list of 50 things that you really like? Maybe a more modest list of 49 or so? If you would like to share it, just post a comment to this entry, or if you know it, you can e-mail me. Just be sure to put Re: Blog Post "You Like What?!" in the subject line. Have a very enjoyable and blessed day!

Baby Powder!

My car smells like baby powder. This is something that I am proud of. I feel a little bit bad though, because last post I was talking about how I felt that I am a somewhat frugal person. I don't know if this blows that whole conception out of the water, but yesterday I took my car to one of the local "full-service" car washes to be cleaned, vacuumed, polished, and deodorized. I also have a problem with one of the mirrors, and they put tape over it to prevent any damage. They did a wonderful job!

The car that I drive is a nice car, no question. There isn't any sunroof, no CD player, but it does have AC and heat, a decent AM/FM stereo, and a tape player. And it gets me where I need to go quickly and safely. However, I had been neglecting it aesthetically. Sure, it got an oil change and new wiper blades a week or two ago, but it was SOOOOOO dirty. It hadn't had a bath in probably a few months. You may think, "so what?", but when I stayed with the lady to whom the car originally belonged, she took pride in having not just an efficient car, but a clean, unsmelly car. In a way, I felt like I was disobeying, or disregarding her by not keeping the car clean. I am glad that it is clean again. Hopefully I can keep it clean for a while.

Speaking of which, I think that I need to go get my self cleaned up. *Pee Yew!*

Frugal, Frugal, Frugal!!!

I don't know what the quantitative difference is between being frugal and just being cheap; it probably is not that substantial. But there is probably a more meaningful difference between the qualitative characteristics of frugality and cheapness. I am a somewhat frugal person. I base this self-evaluation on the following facts:

1. I try not to spend money unless the item being purchased is a necessity
2. I do not think that the world will come to an end if I make a few spontaneous purchases (emphasis on FEW)
3. I like to recycle anything that can be recycled (plastic bottles, plastic bags, cereal boxes, newspaper, jewelry)
4. I look for the best deal while maintaining good quality as well.

But, for the sake of equitable argument, is there really anything wrong with being cheap (here this word means the opposite of being a spendthrift; one does not only NOT spend money wrecklesses, but one is quite guarded in their finances and makes very few to no extravagant purchases, and on average, does not pay more than the lowest price for any item or service). According to http://dictionary.reference.com, synonyms for "cheap" are, "stingy" and "miserly." I feel that more often than not, the colloguial connotation of the word "cheap" is somewhat different from its dictionary denotation.

All this to say that, while I do not see myself being as regimented in dealing with my money, I feel a good deal of respect for people who are able to be so disciplined. We are almost constantly bombarded with advertisements about things that we "absolutely must have, can't live without," when in reality, most of us already have more than we know what to do with sometimes. I am thankful for what I have, and thankful that if I need to, I am able to purchase new things. I don't want to take what I have as if it is my right to have it, and nothing less. I could be living on chewy leaves, crunchy bugs, and small helpless rodents in the middle of a remote forest.

The only problem then would be keeping the toilet paper clean and dry.

(And you're thinking, " I had to read ALL of that, for THAT punchline?!" Be relieved: School is starting again soon and I will not be able to post as frequently. "Ahhhh")