No, I have not traveled overseas this past week, I haven't even left the state. However, I have had a good week so far. On Tuesday I did get to go hiking, sort of. BBB and I went to meet some of her friends at a mountain that's not too far away. (People from out of town say that it's really more of a hill, but it's the closest that we have. ) They didn't show up, so we just hung out at the playground area and walked one of the flat trails. There were a LOT of kids there. Many, many children were running around. The weather was wonderful, so it was understandable. Almost perfect spring break weather. After walking the flat trail, we just went home and ate lunch. I watched Tuck Everlasting for the first time. Of course, I cried at the end. It was sappy and sweet.
Yesterday, Sister and I took another short road trip, a little bit longer than to the mountain, to visit one of the colleges that she is interested in attending in the fall. There was a young man who attended the school that guided a short, one-hour walking tour around the campus. It is a large campus. While we were in that area, Sister treated me to lunch and we also stopped in at a Cingular store. We really stopped in to get directions to the college, but the lady that worked there also told us about the different calling plans that they have. Pretty cool. I don't know if Cingular is the company that I will want to go with. I would prefer to shop around a little bit more.
Sister and I also checked out three more movies yesterday: Vanity Fair with Reese Witherspoon (and Bob Hoskins *grin*), Henry V, because Brother has been wanting to check that out for some time, and The Station Agent. I have been interested in the last movie since it came out. I am just hoping that it was a good pick. Some of the movies that we have brought home have been somewhat embarrasing. We watched Vanity Fair the other evening, and it wasn't so bad. Some parts brought out my soft, sentimental side. But, Sister says that the ending was happy, or good, or something like that. Not too many people died completely, so she might be right.
That leaves today. Quite a few loads of laundry were done today. I also got some real sleep the evening last. I think I will also get some real sleep tonight. And tomorrow will be lots of fun. Pizza and a movie with the kids at church, swimming with Little Sister, and the mystery dinner theater with Bestest Best Buddy. Good times, good times. I hope that you have a wonderful day tomorrow as well!
Don't fool or be fooled too much.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
Dubo Yubou Spubeak "Zuboom Spubeak"?
My brain is currently on vacation. It left sometime last Friday, about 1:20pm, I think. Spring Break, so far, has been nothing special to speak of. That's not completely true. Yesterday was lovely, and Saturday was nice too. I have had a good time. It's just not flying to Barcelona or tripping around Rome in a pair of espadrillas, a flowered sundress, and a large, floppy straw hat. That's probably a good thing though, as I don't speak a bit of Italian. The only Italian words that I know are those that are related to The Olive Garden. Maybe I should eat there more often. Mmm... eggplant! Nah, I really like my grandma's eggplant spaghetti better. Besides, I'd rather go camping right now than hop across the pond.
I don't drink nor do I plan on drinking, but I feel like I understand, at least a little bit, what a hangover must feel like. I am fairly certain that mine is caused by a combination of elevated blood sugar and sleep deprivation. Again last night, I stayed up until about 3:00 in the morning watching season one DVDs of Dead Like Me with Sister and Brother. Certain amounts of ice cream and soda were consumed as well. Oh, the throbbing pain of idiocy. I slept a little bit late, so perhaps it won't be too big a deal.
Perhaps getting out and running would alleviate some of the pain. That and drinking more water. It isn't raining today as it has been for the past few. I very much hope that it remains sunny and dry so that I can go hiking. Plans to drag the siblings, BBB, and whoever else I can get to come along have already been formulated. But, not today. It will still be too wet. There is also cleaning and packing to be done here at home. In a little less than a month now, BBB and I will be on our own. Exhiliration and anxiety.
Our apartment will be my third move within the past year. It seems like it has been longer since Helen went home, and still not that long at all. I haven't been out to visit, or called her niece or brother-in-law. I do want to, but I don't have any clue what to say, other than to tell them that I'm moving... again. *sigh* It seems that the changing of address kind of mimics what's happening in other areas of my life. I feel quite fluid right now. There are a few fairly stable factors at play (same job; still keeping in constant contact with my family; my best friend and I are still friends and neither has dismembered the other, yet). There is just a desire to root somewhere. Not a physical place. I have a sneaking suspicion that some might say I am "looking for myself." I don't know if that's a bad way to look at it, but I do feel a little lost to myself. What do I believe and why do I believe that? Who am I in the context of my relationships? Do my relationships define who I am?
One thing that I do know, as certainly as I can know anything, is that my relationship with my Redeemer has defined me in a different way, redefined me. He has made me better than I could ever be on my own. If we had to wear our souls for our bodies, I can guarantee you that mine wouldn't be a very pretty sight. But it looks exceedingly better than it used to. A redeeming work through the blood of Jesus Christ has wrought this soul into something much more comely than it's previously gnarled, scarred, and jagged self. All I could do was cry out. He gave the grace. I received the forgiveness.
Disclaimer: As introspective as this may sound, I'm still a total garbanzo bean. But I know that you love me anyway! (well, you didn't have to make that face, hmph!)
I don't drink nor do I plan on drinking, but I feel like I understand, at least a little bit, what a hangover must feel like. I am fairly certain that mine is caused by a combination of elevated blood sugar and sleep deprivation. Again last night, I stayed up until about 3:00 in the morning watching season one DVDs of Dead Like Me with Sister and Brother. Certain amounts of ice cream and soda were consumed as well. Oh, the throbbing pain of idiocy. I slept a little bit late, so perhaps it won't be too big a deal.
Perhaps getting out and running would alleviate some of the pain. That and drinking more water. It isn't raining today as it has been for the past few. I very much hope that it remains sunny and dry so that I can go hiking. Plans to drag the siblings, BBB, and whoever else I can get to come along have already been formulated. But, not today. It will still be too wet. There is also cleaning and packing to be done here at home. In a little less than a month now, BBB and I will be on our own. Exhiliration and anxiety.
Our apartment will be my third move within the past year. It seems like it has been longer since Helen went home, and still not that long at all. I haven't been out to visit, or called her niece or brother-in-law. I do want to, but I don't have any clue what to say, other than to tell them that I'm moving... again. *sigh* It seems that the changing of address kind of mimics what's happening in other areas of my life. I feel quite fluid right now. There are a few fairly stable factors at play (same job; still keeping in constant contact with my family; my best friend and I are still friends and neither has dismembered the other, yet). There is just a desire to root somewhere. Not a physical place. I have a sneaking suspicion that some might say I am "looking for myself." I don't know if that's a bad way to look at it, but I do feel a little lost to myself. What do I believe and why do I believe that? Who am I in the context of my relationships? Do my relationships define who I am?
One thing that I do know, as certainly as I can know anything, is that my relationship with my Redeemer has defined me in a different way, redefined me. He has made me better than I could ever be on my own. If we had to wear our souls for our bodies, I can guarantee you that mine wouldn't be a very pretty sight. But it looks exceedingly better than it used to. A redeeming work through the blood of Jesus Christ has wrought this soul into something much more comely than it's previously gnarled, scarred, and jagged self. All I could do was cry out. He gave the grace. I received the forgiveness.
Disclaimer: As introspective as this may sound, I'm still a total garbanzo bean. But I know that you love me anyway! (well, you didn't have to make that face, hmph!)
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Romanticizing My Childhood
I walked to church this evening for the first time in a while, at least two months. My feet know the way to go. They know where to fall to avoid holes; they can almost gracefully balance on the familiar curbs of the familiar homes. My entire teenage life was spent in this neighborhood. My feet have walked miles and miles around this area. When they drained the lake years ago, my feet took me across the alien landscape in search of the abandoned pearly shells of gastropods. In that late fall/early winter, the drained lakebed looked like an ancient desert that was years without the thought of hydration (nevermind the little spots of quickmud that sucked our adventurous little feet into its frigid depths up to our calves, stealing our shoes and caking our socks: icky!).
The recent news of the death of our beloved canine companion, the only dog that we as a family have ever had, has been sort of hulking in the corner of my mind. When he left along with our step-dad, it didn't occur to me that I would never see him alive again. I wasn't a young child either; I had seventeen years. Walking to church and just looking around this neighborhood kind of made me feel a little like I did when I found out about Ben.
BBB and I will be moving into an apartment not too long from now. This will be my last month or so in this neighborhood which has been my home for the greater part of my maturation. Almost exactly half of my present lifetime, more precisely. Our family synthesized here when I was about 10 or 11. I will be (the ghastly age of) 21 later this year (horrors!). There are so many small, seemingly insignificant things to remember about this area. Three different houses in this area have been called my home. A few more could have been considered my part-time homes, as I spent so much time with my friends. These have even overlapped twice. Two of my part-time homes became my full-times homes at different times. This area has been the backdrop for a rich, vivid, and full adolescent life.
The more that I think on it, there is a certain amount of personal symbolism in my leaving. I have been a teenager here, cared for by those who love me. It is time for me to strike out as a young adult and try to begin to care for myself (though I still fully intend to mooch leftovers from Grandma's house as often as possible). I am leaving old friends whom I have long since lost contact with. Also being left are my adolescent hurts and sorrows, my misadventures, some fond memories. I will still have them, but lacking the constant visual reminder, they will continue to fade. But this is not a bad thing at all. There is still church to attend out this way. There are friends that do still live here that I intend to visit. My bicycle or car can easily bring me here when I need or desire to come. And BBB and I both like the new area that we are moving to. I am just a little sad to think that I will never again live in this neighborhood. No more walking out my door and strolling around the lake or racing nothing-and-everything down the big hills on my bicycle. Of course, no more falling INTO the lake or crashing my bicycle at the bottom of the hills. Now the only things left to do are to load up the boxes and let the ink dry. This chapter is just about done.
The recent news of the death of our beloved canine companion, the only dog that we as a family have ever had, has been sort of hulking in the corner of my mind. When he left along with our step-dad, it didn't occur to me that I would never see him alive again. I wasn't a young child either; I had seventeen years. Walking to church and just looking around this neighborhood kind of made me feel a little like I did when I found out about Ben.
BBB and I will be moving into an apartment not too long from now. This will be my last month or so in this neighborhood which has been my home for the greater part of my maturation. Almost exactly half of my present lifetime, more precisely. Our family synthesized here when I was about 10 or 11. I will be (the ghastly age of) 21 later this year (horrors!). There are so many small, seemingly insignificant things to remember about this area. Three different houses in this area have been called my home. A few more could have been considered my part-time homes, as I spent so much time with my friends. These have even overlapped twice. Two of my part-time homes became my full-times homes at different times. This area has been the backdrop for a rich, vivid, and full adolescent life.
The more that I think on it, there is a certain amount of personal symbolism in my leaving. I have been a teenager here, cared for by those who love me. It is time for me to strike out as a young adult and try to begin to care for myself (though I still fully intend to mooch leftovers from Grandma's house as often as possible). I am leaving old friends whom I have long since lost contact with. Also being left are my adolescent hurts and sorrows, my misadventures, some fond memories. I will still have them, but lacking the constant visual reminder, they will continue to fade. But this is not a bad thing at all. There is still church to attend out this way. There are friends that do still live here that I intend to visit. My bicycle or car can easily bring me here when I need or desire to come. And BBB and I both like the new area that we are moving to. I am just a little sad to think that I will never again live in this neighborhood. No more walking out my door and strolling around the lake or racing nothing-and-everything down the big hills on my bicycle. Of course, no more falling INTO the lake or crashing my bicycle at the bottom of the hills. Now the only things left to do are to load up the boxes and let the ink dry. This chapter is just about done.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Sunny With a High of 75
There are times when, despite my personal efficacy and self-confidence, I feel like a total flake. It is usually a fleeting feeling, but I think that it really does help in a way. Perhaps it is a sort of conviction. It reminds me of Plato's writing on Socrates. Socrates is quoted as saying something to the effect of, "I am the wisest man alive, because I know that which I do not know." My father has quoted this line a few times and asked the siblings and me if we understood what it meant. In a basic way perhaps, you know your limits. You admit that you do not know everything. If I remember, Socrates took it so far as to say that he knew nothing, or very, very little. Some other philosophers of the skeptical variety postulate that we cannot know anything with certainty.
These kinds of arguments are fun to take on because when attempting to refute the skeptic, you really end up going in circles. "How do you know that we can't know anything with certainty?" one might ask. The skeptic might answer, "We don't even know that." It's similar to playing a game of "Why?" with a young child. You end up going in frustrating circles (I personally often find it amusing. It's fun to watch Little Sister find out that she won't be able to bother the stuffing out of me just by asking me a monosyllabic question repeatedly for five minutes).
Here is a link to the most recent news that I have been able to find about the battle to keep Terri Schiavo's feeding tube from being removed: http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/103-03172005-464611.html. Her feeding tube is currently set to be removed as scheduled, tomorrow afternoon. There are some lawmakers still attempting to prevent this from happening, but there is a good deal of opposition. Removal of Ms. Schiavo's feeding tube will not result in immediate death, but rather starvation, which is not definite in the amount of time that it will take. Lots of praying to be done!
These kinds of arguments are fun to take on because when attempting to refute the skeptic, you really end up going in circles. "How do you know that we can't know anything with certainty?" one might ask. The skeptic might answer, "We don't even know that." It's similar to playing a game of "Why?" with a young child. You end up going in frustrating circles (I personally often find it amusing. It's fun to watch Little Sister find out that she won't be able to bother the stuffing out of me just by asking me a monosyllabic question repeatedly for five minutes).
Here is a link to the most recent news that I have been able to find about the battle to keep Terri Schiavo's feeding tube from being removed: http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/103-03172005-464611.html. Her feeding tube is currently set to be removed as scheduled, tomorrow afternoon. There are some lawmakers still attempting to prevent this from happening, but there is a good deal of opposition. Removal of Ms. Schiavo's feeding tube will not result in immediate death, but rather starvation, which is not definite in the amount of time that it will take. Lots of praying to be done!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
I posted this information on my (still pretty new) xanga a few days ago, but I also wanted to post it on here as I don't think that many of my friends are yet able to tolerate reading both. This morning I would like to ask that you look at the case of Terri Schiavo. You have probably at least heard her name in the news. The website for the foundation that her family has started on her behalf shares this information:
In 1990, Terri Schindler-Schiavo collapsed in the home she shared with her husband, Michael Schiavo. The cause of her collapse is unknown to this day.
Terri fell into a coma but awakened from her comatose state weeks later. She was left in what medical professionals call a "locked in state" with limited abilities to communicate or move.During the first months that followed Terri's mysterious collapse, she made progress. Medical practitioners noted her efforts to speak and her responsiveness.
To this day, Terri remains disabled. Though she is responsive to stimuli, interacts with her environment and her loved ones and is capable of communicating in limited ways, she is a disabled and vulnerable adult - requiring protection, therapy and the route to recovery.
It also states that she receives food and water via a gastric feeding tube. The reason that her name has been in the news is because her husband has asked that the feeding tube be removed, which would cause death by starvation. Her family is trying to prevent this from happening and have offered to take care of her. That is a very simple idea of what has been a long, difficult, and complicated battle.
This was brought to my attention because I received an e-mail from the American Family Association with a link that allows you to send an e-mail to your Senator and Representative about a bill that was introduced that would hopefully protect people in this situation, the Incapacitated Person's Legal Protection Act (H.R. 1151 and S. 539):
'To amend title 28, United States Code, to provide the protections of habeas corpus for certain incapacitated individuals whose life is in jeopardy, and for other purposes.'
http://capwiz.com/afanet/alert7191461.html - to e-mail representatives
I don't know if anyone else is confused about some of this as much as I am, but I do believe that human life has value. If you want to, use the AFA link and e-mail your Congressmen that way, write your own e-mails or letters to them, or find out their phone numbers and call them. Just do what you are capable of to make your voice and your beliefs known. (And not just on this issue. How do feel about our military's overseas actions? What about Social Security reform? Federal Debt? It's a lot to deal with, but we are all effected and therefore have a right and obligation to inform our government of how we wish to be governed.)
Thanks for bearing with me through this. Please give thanks to God for the life that you have, and all of the little blessings that we let slip under our gratitude radar. Before you do anything else, just especially pray for this family and others like them.
Much love to you all!
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Mission 1: Complete
About a month or so ago, Sister posed a challenge for me on her blog. "FIRST CHALLENGE: 25 REASONABLE MEANINGS FOR THE ACRONYM ACT." Since I did not have to go to work today (though I have a good laundry list of things to do around the house, especially cleaning my room!) I have been able to complete the list.
- Adam Called Todd - Thanks D!
- Armadillos Caution Truckers - definitely an Arkie, aren't I?
- Alley Cat Tango - Thanks T!
- Advocate Civil Treatment
- Advanced Calculus Torture
- Airy Crayon Tracings
- Awesome Canyon Trails
- Another Crazy Tale - one of my many autobiographies
- Aardvark Cooking Tutorial
- American Car Traders
- Applied Calculus Theories
- Apeman Called Tarzan
- Abetting Collared Trainrobbers
- Archaic Copper Tools
- Approved Cancer Treatments
- Apothecaries' Coveted Techniques
- Aromatherapy Candle Tienda
- Annotated Chaucer Treasury
- Angst Corrupted Teenagers - we are, we are, we are
- Ailurophile Convention Tradeshow - the latest in fur care + massages that make you say "mew" - I thought you might like this one Sis
- Anemone Coloration Trends
- Angry Cartoonist's Tirade
- Arbitration Canceled Today
- Abundant Canned Tuna
- Archetypical College Teacher - Dr. K! extremely knowledgeable, cares about his students, upon occasion as intimidating as a grand piano dangling directly above you from a few spindly spider threads
Well Sis, I hope these meet your approval. I also hope that you're having good time at your Aggressive Speaking Tourney, which is probably where you are right now. "You're so far away. Doesn't anybody stay in one place any more?" Send my love to the gals, the guys, Ms. Dusk and Ms. Whiz! And lots of love to you too!
Shivers
As is habit, I am not asleep yet. I actually got off work somewhat early. I got to pester one of my buddies from the floor. (If you're reading this, thanks for letting me bug you! If you're not reading this... uh) After talking with three of the nicest [looking ;)] guys at work for a while, I dashed. I have had a mild craving for egg rolls again. Since today was pay day, I made a run to Wally World after leaving work. One package of vegetable egg rolls and a half gallon of rocky road ice cream hopped into my cart, accompanied me to the check out, and came home with me. The desire for Rocky Road was a result of listening to Joan Jett but singing the Weird Al lyrics with Bestest Best Buddy (BBB) earlier this week. This trip gave me just enough time to drop the goodies at home and run to pick up my friend, our Household Mother Figure (HMF).
When I drive I like to have the radio on. When the radio is on, I like to have the bass turned up. Just about everything sounds better with the right amount of bass. Even Felix Mendelssohn sounds good with it, though there is really no need to improve on his music. Sometimes it is just nice to mix things up by turning the radio off and listening to the hum of the road as you glide along above it.
Since we were both tired and somewhat hungry when I picked her up, she treated me to IHOP for supper. Turkey sandwich. Not bad. Needs spinach.
I am beginning to feel tired. My ears are a little itchy inside. Definitely sleepy. I noticed that BBB bought another movie. Surprise did not markedly register on my face when I realized what movie it was. She may not say so as much, but I believe that she has accused me of being gross, which I most certainly am. But this movie gets really gross to. Needy, nihilistic insomniacs making soap and bombs while beating each other to bloody pulps. A wonderful movie to be sure.
Well, I had better at least try to get some sleep. I have been getting considerably less than is recommended. Maybe I should take some Valerian root and get more exercise.
When I drive I like to have the radio on. When the radio is on, I like to have the bass turned up. Just about everything sounds better with the right amount of bass. Even Felix Mendelssohn sounds good with it, though there is really no need to improve on his music. Sometimes it is just nice to mix things up by turning the radio off and listening to the hum of the road as you glide along above it.
Since we were both tired and somewhat hungry when I picked her up, she treated me to IHOP for supper. Turkey sandwich. Not bad. Needs spinach.
I am beginning to feel tired. My ears are a little itchy inside. Definitely sleepy. I noticed that BBB bought another movie. Surprise did not markedly register on my face when I realized what movie it was. She may not say so as much, but I believe that she has accused me of being gross, which I most certainly am. But this movie gets really gross to. Needy, nihilistic insomniacs making soap and bombs while beating each other to bloody pulps. A wonderful movie to be sure.
Well, I had better at least try to get some sleep. I have been getting considerably less than is recommended. Maybe I should take some Valerian root and get more exercise.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
CONSTANT(ly Missing the Subtext of the Brainy Movie L)INE
I must admit it: I have another love. In addition to this wonderful blogger account, I have recently created an account with xanga.com, under the name senoritazorro (yes. I do indeed know just how original and creative this naming was. I am a college student and do not currently have the time to waste on luxuries like creativity, imagination, sleep, or breathing). The point of creating this second account is mostly for the purpose of interacting with friends who have accounts on xanga, as the posting of comments is exclusive to members. I will probably also try to affect a more relaxed writing style. Or not. I may at some point decide to leave one service for the other, though I cannot say. Another possible scenario would be to post entries simultaneously to both accounts. I do not know if there are any regulations of any sort against such behavior, as I hold the copyright to my thoughts (I think). Rambling on...
Another recent development has left me feeling a little colder than before. Especially my neck and shoulders. Yes, I have been shorn. My hair was somewhat long, to the bottom of my shoulder blades I believe. As Sister did, I have opted to donate my hair to Locks of Love in the hopes that it is long enough and in good enough condition. I have been told that I have very nice hair and I accept this statement. It is full, thick hair with natural high- and low-lights. A little bit of conditioner goes a long way. Sometimes I can get away without using any.
I do not currently miss my long hair necessarily. I do like the hair cut. It will just take getting used to seeing myself with short hair. Since today, technically yesterday, was my first day to wear it short, I will probably be mostly adapted to how it feels by Saturday. There will be more people to shock, which is always fun. I enjoy attention, preferably positive. Geek? Why, yes I am!
Sleep must be attained within twenty-five minutes for optimum operation of all mechanisms and processes tomorrow. I will go count naked sheep now. G'night and God bless!
Another recent development has left me feeling a little colder than before. Especially my neck and shoulders. Yes, I have been shorn. My hair was somewhat long, to the bottom of my shoulder blades I believe. As Sister did, I have opted to donate my hair to Locks of Love in the hopes that it is long enough and in good enough condition. I have been told that I have very nice hair and I accept this statement. It is full, thick hair with natural high- and low-lights. A little bit of conditioner goes a long way. Sometimes I can get away without using any.
I do not currently miss my long hair necessarily. I do like the hair cut. It will just take getting used to seeing myself with short hair. Since today, technically yesterday, was my first day to wear it short, I will probably be mostly adapted to how it feels by Saturday. There will be more people to shock, which is always fun. I enjoy attention, preferably positive. Geek? Why, yes I am!
Sleep must be attained within twenty-five minutes for optimum operation of all mechanisms and processes tomorrow. I will go count naked sheep now. G'night and God bless!
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Dismantling [personal] Atomic Bombs
If I asked if there are any U2 fans out there, I would probably (hopefully) get a good response. They are not my favorite band, though I do really, really, really like their music, and other aspects of the band. Brother let me borrow his copy of their latest release, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. I have not been able to listen to it through, but I did start listening to it this morning while I was getting ready for school. The majority of the music that I listen to is either Christian Rock, Christian Urban, Classical, Prairie Home Companion (on NPR), or the Midnight Special (on NPR). But, I also like listening to the music that Brother and Sister like to listen to as well. They have good ears. And it's nice to find common ground. Music can be very good at bringing people together. (Unfortunately, it can also have a polarizing effect, but that's another post, or not.)
Desires to post positive thoughts and discussions have been pinging in my chest both yesterday and today. I want to share that I am happy about a new position that I have started training for and working on at the company with which I am employed. I am now a transcriber, and so far I am enjoying it. Having a big head I also kind of enjoyed my friends from the floor telling me that they would miss me, since I am being holed away back in transcription. (I am SUCH a garbanzo bean! Me and my ego.) But, I really will try to make it a point to go see them on breaks as much as I can. Hmm...
Anywho. As much as I am in elan about the new position (which actually may not be definite, depending on how I perform during training, but so far, so good), recent events have weighed on me internally. A couple in my church family lost one of their grown daughters who was married with children of her own. She was not much older than me. What to say or do? And, this may not seem as heavy to some, my siblings and I found out that the only dog that we have ever lived with and intimately cared for passed away in November. Life is crazy, so the reasons that we didn't find out until now are crazy, but for the sake of brevity (hahaha), irrelevant. If you know me, you know. [Divorce sucks the life and souls out of people!]
Sister told me of the thing the other night when I went to visit after work. Mom and we kiddies were sent a picture of Ben (our big, lovable, lug of a dog) that was taken in our old back yard Before. It's a very good picture of him. There is a message that was typed on the picture that is addressed to us from Ben. For the most part my brain is very much fixed on the present moment. When Ben had to leave us, I didn't think about the fact that I would most likely not see him again. This almost makes me mad. Not at any person, that I can tell, but just at the situations. [Insert euphemisms here!] Maybe it's a mixed emotional cocktail with a splash of regret thrown in too. I didn't try to keep in contact very well, though it might not have mattered. Truly, I wouldn't whether or not it would have mattered unless I had tried harder to keep in touch. [Cry of Job here!] It's not the end of the world for us. But, Ben was also important to the person who sent us the picture of him. Ben was probably one of the few, if not only, companions that he had. I don't know that for sure. I do know that he dearly loved Ben. [gnashing of teeth!]
Well, brevity indeed! I am so tired. I have to work tomorrow too. Then there are more things to do after work.
#1- hug Mom, Sister, Brother, and Little Sister bunches!
I need sleep. I need a shoulder. I need to grow up.
I need you, Lord!
Desires to post positive thoughts and discussions have been pinging in my chest both yesterday and today. I want to share that I am happy about a new position that I have started training for and working on at the company with which I am employed. I am now a transcriber, and so far I am enjoying it. Having a big head I also kind of enjoyed my friends from the floor telling me that they would miss me, since I am being holed away back in transcription. (I am SUCH a garbanzo bean! Me and my ego.) But, I really will try to make it a point to go see them on breaks as much as I can. Hmm...
Anywho. As much as I am in elan about the new position (which actually may not be definite, depending on how I perform during training, but so far, so good), recent events have weighed on me internally. A couple in my church family lost one of their grown daughters who was married with children of her own. She was not much older than me. What to say or do? And, this may not seem as heavy to some, my siblings and I found out that the only dog that we have ever lived with and intimately cared for passed away in November. Life is crazy, so the reasons that we didn't find out until now are crazy, but for the sake of brevity (hahaha), irrelevant. If you know me, you know. [Divorce sucks the life and souls out of people!]
Sister told me of the thing the other night when I went to visit after work. Mom and we kiddies were sent a picture of Ben (our big, lovable, lug of a dog) that was taken in our old back yard Before. It's a very good picture of him. There is a message that was typed on the picture that is addressed to us from Ben. For the most part my brain is very much fixed on the present moment. When Ben had to leave us, I didn't think about the fact that I would most likely not see him again. This almost makes me mad. Not at any person, that I can tell, but just at the situations. [Insert euphemisms here!] Maybe it's a mixed emotional cocktail with a splash of regret thrown in too. I didn't try to keep in contact very well, though it might not have mattered. Truly, I wouldn't whether or not it would have mattered unless I had tried harder to keep in touch. [Cry of Job here!] It's not the end of the world for us. But, Ben was also important to the person who sent us the picture of him. Ben was probably one of the few, if not only, companions that he had. I don't know that for sure. I do know that he dearly loved Ben. [gnashing of teeth!]
Well, brevity indeed! I am so tired. I have to work tomorrow too. Then there are more things to do after work.
#1- hug Mom, Sister, Brother, and Little Sister bunches!
I need sleep. I need a shoulder. I need to grow up.
I need you, Lord!
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Incredible Lemony Saw Hitch Hide and Seek
I don't know if I can make any sense this early in the morning. Sleep will hopefully be achieved in no more than twenty minutes, but I have been wanting to post for some time now and felt compelled to indulge now while I am awake. There are many things that I have wanted to talk about, but haven't been able to, so this post might be a bit copious. My apologies in advance.
- HouseholdMotherFigure(HMF) and I saw The Incredibles this evening. What a "WICKED!" movie! *big grin* BBB was going to try to see it with us, but was unable to this time. We will have to be more... resourceful next time.
- I have very slowly been able to stop some of the bad habits that tormented me. And this was not accomplished through active pursuit of a goal. I have prayed about these things before, and I just got too busy to worry about getting upset with myself when I backslid. Then, I just got too busy to backslide!
- I have replaced some of the aforementioned discarded habits with new ones, though not so odious. The first is the habit of sleeping in my car. Everyone is different, but I really like the feeling that I get when I first slip into my car when it has been sitting in the sun on a mild, but sunny day. It feels similar to a sauna, probably aided by the leather seats that retain heat well. It's very relaxing. I used this method to get some much needed rest while I was quite sick. The way that this has become bad is because I missed my Spanish class on Monday. Unfortunately, I did not do it unintentionally either. I woke up in time to get to class, but I decided that I was too tired to try. Shame on me.
- The second bad habit is of course wasting my time. I have been reading a lot of my friends' blogs, and just random blogs. I'm a very curious person and I suppose I feel a little bit more connected to them when I read about what is going on and how they feel about it. But, I have been spending more time doing that than I need to.
- The doctor prescribed another round of antibiotics because of the condition of my right ear. Hearing has increased in my right ear, but there is still a good deal of distortion, which makes things confusing, though I have kind of enjoyed it. Things just sound a little different. I have also had the chance to bug more people by repeating either, "Huh?" or "What did you say?"
- BBB and HMF said something the other night to the affect that I have ADD, or something similar. I cannot disagree. There is not enough evidence that I can think of to refute this hypothesis, and there is a fairly substantial amount of evidence to corroborate their assertion.
- I went to the mall with a friend from work today (well, technically yesterday) and noticed another bad habit that I have probably carried for a while: I seem to enjoy pointing out my flaws. Repeatedly. Certainly there is no problem with honesty and airing some dissatisfactions with oneself, in an attempt to improve upon these qualities. However, there is only so much whining that some people can stand, she didn't say anything about it, and I may be over-analyzing the situation. Still, while trying to get to know someone and become better friends with them, it would probably be better to just enjoy each other's company and "accentuate the positive."(that is such a cool song! The Andrew's Sisters were some amazing ladies! And Bing Crosby sang that song with them as well.)
Well, enough about me. "Sleep shall fall across my eyes as an anvil graces itself on the crown of an unsuspecting cartoon character." Perhaps it shall not be that hard to snatch some Z's, but just in case I will try to think like McGyver. Or at least make use of one of the numerous Wally World bags that has accumulated in my room. I really need to put those things away. Actually, I really need to clean my room. And do my homework. And spend more time with the siblings. And remember to ask them what Dad asked me to ask them, but I forgot to ask them and so will have to ask them tomorrow evening after work. Did I mention that I AM going to sleep now? G'night and may God bless you!
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