Twenty and six

It is late.

It is past midnight, but I currently don't mind. Irish coffee before bedtime is probably, as my best friend suggested, a dumb idea. It is however quite comforting and pleasant.

Today marked the return to school for the fall semester. It has begun! I had but one class this afternoon - developmental biology. It looks to be an interesting class thanks to the course material as well as the slightly nutty professor. Tomorrow I will have a first aid class at 8 a.m. followed by the final class required for my sign language studies minor: Manually Coded English. The teacher is tough but terrific! Rounding out my full load is my second pass at Neurobiology, online.

*gulp*

~~~@~~~

The picture above is from my birthday dinner this past Monday. Zack took me to a wonderful multi-ethnic restaurant nearby. This is their signature Wonton Sundae.

Monday was the best birthday ever, thanks to Zack. My day began with best friend and I enjoying a brisk morning walk before dawn. This was followed by dropping my sister and our other roommate at work. I then darted home to clean, redo the blue streaks in my hair, and shower in preparation for the lunch date that my love asked to take me on for my birthday. About 30 minutes of hair preparation and make-up application after Zack arrived, we left for the downtown Episcopal church. Upon request, we stopped there for some quite, reflective time. The old, holy smell; the stillness; and gentle rumblings of downtown life just outside the walls of the church offered fertile ground for pausing to press into God's presence and letting him press into me. Kneeling, I inhaled my prayers and exhaled my thanks, trying to focus more on my gratitude than my requests -- rarely an easy task.

Some time passed and we journeyed on peacefully to the restaurant. Lunch was beautiful; edible poetry. Lilly's is corporately and individually one of our favorite places to eat despite the drive. With his company, we could be dining on stale cardboard boxes from the grimy dumpster in back of the meat shoppe and it would be a joyful experience. Having such lovely food made it all the better.

We returned home and spent a little time just hanging out before I had to go to work that evening. Sis and I were talked out of just calling in, as it was our birthday. We went to work but only worked about three of the four hours in our shift. Leaving early allowed us to return to a lasagna dinner and birthday streamers strewn about the new apartment in our honor. We were able to have a little more time together, Zack and I staying up to talk for a brief time before he had to depart.

After his departure I just felt happy. It was not because of his departure as though I wanted him to leave, but because he chose to spend the day with me and did his best to see that I had a relaxing, uplifting, fun, loving, yummy birthday. He was with me on my birthday and it was good.

Best. birthday. ever.

The summer semesters have finally seen their end with my physics final yesterday. It was not pretty. The best test grade I made in the class was an 85 with the rest plummeting closer to 60 and below. Oi!

I cried after the final yesterday. Tears streamed down my mildly dehydrated face, leaning against the reclined driver's seat of my car in the 90+ degree Arkansas-in-August heat. Though I knew my schedule was a busy one, I again failed to balance everything and pull a good grade out of a class. The last time I took summer classes was about 5 years ago. At that time I decided not to do it again, despite making A's in both classes. Earlier this year I was convinced it would help me get ahead and improve my GPA while knocking out some coursework and moving me closer to graduating.

My faith in higher education and myself is not gone or smashed beyond all repair. I'm just trying to prevent myself from raking... myself over the coals. While I don't want to dismiss the defeat, I don't want to linger on it and subsequently sour my all-too-soon return to school for the fall semester (after a very brief week and a half break).

In attempts to learn and press on I readjusted my fall schedule this morning. There will be classes, work study, and study-study to accommodate. There will also hopefully soon be clinical observation hours to accommodate as well in preparation for applying to physical therapy programs. It's a lot of work, but it's mostly little steps that need to be taken care of in order to make the way. This is doable!

As always, prayers much appreciated; chai tea too.