"...before the walls of Minas Tirith.."

My doom is not decided, at least not by myself. I'm still not certain that it is completely settled, but if I had a choice I am not sure just what I would want it to be. Certainly not a heart attack from blockage, or falling and breaking myself because of frail, demineralized bones.

I think that I would like to be taking a lovely stroll on a breezy afternoon in the early fall, probably through Hot Springs, and then absentmindedly fall into a hole in the ground right in front of me. I don't know just what would do me in; probably not the direct impact, but hitting something on the way down and then landing on the injured anatomy. Or swinging from a trapeze over a faulty net.

I know that this probably sounds like a morbid discussion to have with oneself, but I have found that for myself, making light of anything helps me come to terms with it. It's sometimes easier than trying to actually explain things. As case in point, some poems are wonderful at doing just this thing, such as this jolly poem:

I Saw A Jolly Hunter
__________________

I saw a jolly hunter
With a jolly gun
Walking in the country
In the jolly sun.

In the jolly meadow
Sat a jolly hare.
Saw the jolly hunter.
Took jolly care.

Hunter jolly eager-
Sight of jolly prey.
Forgot gun pointing
Wrong jolly way.

Jolly hunter jolly head
Over heels gone.
Jolly old safety catch
Not jolly on.

Bang went the jolly gun.
Hunter jolly dead.
Jolly hare got clean away.
Jolly good, I said.

---
Charles Causley

" So let the old year die with a fond goodbye..."

The New Year is coming upon us. Quickly. In like, four or five days. If I wasn't too lazy, I might look it up, but I ever so slightly wonder where the tradition of making New Year's Resolutions came from. I think that I remember hearing different tales about possible origins. One that I somewhat remember, though it may be a few traditions muddled together, is that in which people would write down the past years dissappointments, bad thoughts, fears, or sorrows, and then burn them or release them into the air via birds, balloons, or something like that. And then also making new wishes and setting new goals for the fresh year to come.

I am making another start. I am moving. I thoroughly enjoy my current living conditions with my family. In the fast few months I have had a tremendous time being the mean big sister again. And also some fun trying to be the sagacious, nurturing big sister, though not as often. (Quick aside: Brother had his wisdom teeth out today, four of them! He is doing better. He seems to be recovering well.)

Well, I am now venturing out, but not on my own. I am moving in with my best friend. I have heard from some people that we might not be best friends for long if we are going to be living together, and I have also heard the opposite from other people. For quite a while we have talked about living together, since we were younger. We had our own unique and corporate designs for what our living quarters would be. They may have been just a little bit beyond our budget, but who thinks about such minor details when you don't have to work for a living.

I am trying not to be anxious. I honestly can't think of a good reason that I should be. Some people say that any move or big change, no matter whether you view it as good or bad, has accompanying stress. Thankfully, I believe that the God that I serve is a good God, and He has always blessed me in little ways that have kept from going completely batty. He's still doing that now. Oh boy, I could tell you some amazing things that God has done on my behalf, even when I didn't realize it. I hope that He can use as much as and more than He has blessed me: it would be quite a lot of work.

Well, there are probably quite a few of us who need to work off some extra holiday calories. I'll try to knock a few out with a combination of mad dashing to pack and move and a little bit of nervous energy as well.

Danke, Gracias, Dank u, Grazie, 너를 감사하십시요, Obrigado, Merci, Σας ευχαριστούμε, Вы, and Thank you!

We finished opening our Christmas presents this evening with almost all of us together. I had only opened presents from friends before tonight, but we opened the family presents tonight. The total tally so far is:

• a DVD player w/remote (whoa!)
  
• wool socks (yeah!)
  
• a new journal
  
• Ferrero Chocolates, and two Lindt truffles
  
• chocolate nut fudge, sugared peanuts, and a snowman tin
  
• an Oreo tin, pretty greeting cards, and lots of pretty hair pretties
  
• a beautiful nativity box
  
• beautiful red driving gloves (from Granny:)
  
• a fold-out sewing cube
  
• an Atkins Cookbook
  
• $10 cash and a $10 bookstore gift card
  

That's quite a pull. I really tried not be giddy about unwrapping presents and reveling in the materialistic emphasis placed on the giving and receiving of Christmas present. I really like the red driving gloves, they match a beautiful red coat that I have.

It was also a lot of fun giving presents. I had some help from my sister, quite a bit actually, in picking the presents that I gave. She and I went to eat lunch with our dad today. That was pretty fun. We enjoyed selecting the presents that we gave to dad. And he seemes to like them too. Our pastor said that we often watch other people unwrap the gifts that we give them to see that they not only accept the gift, but that they also accept us. It is wonderful to know that gifts that you give, at any time of year, are needed, appreciated, and loved. Which reminds me, I have quite a few phone calls to make.

Please pray for the people in Asia that have been affected by the earthquake, its aftershocks, and their effects! And also keep the aid workers in your prayers as well as they attempt to help out.

I'm A Sad Little Woman

I am actually not sure if I can use the words little or woman about myself, but they will do for now. I was invited to a party with my sister and her friends for Christmas. After eating a very good homemade dinner, we played some games about movies. I know probably more about movies that I haven't even seen than movies that I HAVE seen. I wonder if this is another sign of patheticism. Thoughts, BBB? It was SOOOOO much fun though. If only I could learn all of the important stuff that I will need to know as well as I can soak up all the useless knowledge that I have.

This was a fun day, even though I must admit that it was hard to keep in my mind for even a small amount of time what the day is meant to be celebrated for. I thought about it when I was coming back home with my aunt and cousin. Jesus came to this earth to live as a man and die for us. And He rose again to give us new life. It was so much easier to just enjoy all of the GOOOD food and company. I am glad that I will be able to go to church tomorrow. I hope that you're able to go too. I will try to write again soon. One last Merry Christmas!!

"Alright; you're a fake and I'm a phony."

We are up watching Holiday Inn on the television. I suppose that spending time on the internet on Christmas Eve isn't the traditional way to interact with your family, but we're enjoying ourselves. Mother and Sister are knitting, Brother is intermittently reading over my shoulder, and I am, of course, typing an entry to this blog. I have been wondering how my friends are doing. I hope that they are doing well. Sister and I went to the store again today to pick up what I wasn't able to pay for yesterday. However, today we braved the snow and ice in my car. She is a good car, so it wasn't so bad, and a lot of the ice and snow have melted from braver, hopefully well-insured motorists driving along.

I look forward to tomorrow, getting to eat Christmas dinner with family. But, I am also hoping to be able to see some of my other family as well. You know what, I had better stop typing and go get to wrapping and cleaning. Love you all! God bless and Merry Christmas to you!

No Work, No Work, Lalalalalala

Well, after about the second call in, I found out that I didn't have to go to work today. And no one else in the family had work or school, so we have enjoyed the time just doing laundry, lounging around, and venturing out into the snow sparingly. Sister and I actually went on a kind of mission. There is a recycling center that is about 10 minutes from our house by foot. We went there through the snow to see if there were any good magazines to look at in the magazine bin. I believe that this is most commonly referred to as "dumpster diving." Sister and I have talked about it before, but have still been unable to succeed together. There wasn't anything worth looking at that we could see, so we went on in the other direction to the dollar store up the hill.

We stopped at home first to check in with the parental units, and then on down the backroads, staying away from heavy traffic for the ice on the roads. We has just as much fun getting to the dollar store as we did at the dollar store, though it did feel good to thaw for a while. We must have spent about twenty or thirty minutes there. Terrible thing is, I didn't have any money with me, or my checkbook, only my debit card to which I do not know the pin. So, the cashier said that she would keep those things for me until I could pay for them tomorrow with my checkbook.

When we got home, we just did what we had done before taking off: a good deal of nothing. We did eat dinner, watch a movie that Song had checked out earlier, and now we're watching another movie. It is wonderful fun to have nothing important to do. I will try not to take this for granted. And we did get some work done. More to do tomorrow. Time to rest for tonight. God bless you and yours!

P>S> Stay safe if you have ice or snow where you are!

Let it Rain, Let it Sleet, and Finally...

It is finally snowing, and has been for the past few hours. No work. Church was canceled. The library is closed, as are the stores. So, the only thing left to do is to bundle up, drag your brother and little sister out into the snow, and procede to attempt to kill each other: Death by Snowball! Brother knocked me over, threw snowballs at me, and rubbed snow into my head/hair. Little Sister really just had fun playing in the snow. She may have thrown a few snowballs, but nothing to match the velocity of Brother's snowball blitz. I was successful once in knocking Brother over, but was met with more snow on my face and in my hair. I LOVE MY SIBLINGS!

I really do love my brother and sisters. Time to go torture them some more.

For those who have it, enjoy the snow! For those who don't: At least you won't get frostbite or hypothermia!

Pillar Covering U2 is Like Peanut Butter Fudge

Today has been a day of good food, good fellowship, and good singing. One of the families in the church invited everyone over to their house for a Christmas lunch. Lots of good food! (Small personal victory: I skipped dessert in favor of sweet potatoes; yummy!!) And it's always fun getting together and talking, sharing. I got to hang out with the yungins and the teens, which is always a wonderful experience. They are FULL of energy and enthusiasm.

After lunch I went with Sister to visit some friends, stop by the library, make a quick run into the local grocery store for beans, and then it was back to church (a little bit late) for a choir meeting before our Christmas Cantata this evening. And the Cantata was wonderful! The songs are good, and the soloists who sang did a GREAT job with their parts. Then after that we had another small fellowship time. Mostly just little snacks and finger foods. So, good food and the goodness of God are on my mind.

Well, I have been listening to a CD that my brother and sister have, In the Name of Love. It's an album of U2 songs recorded by various Christian music artists. I really like the cover of "Sunday Bloody Sunday" by the group Pillar. It's really good. Yup. But don't take my word for it. Oooo, and the songs redone by Tait and Tobymac are veeeeery good too.

So, if you are going to be getting me a gift for Christmas, but are not sure what I would like, I can tell you that I really don't want anything. But, if you insist on getting me something just because I am so sweet, make sure that it's something that Brother can borrow, like a can of spinach or two. (Or the new U2 album!!!)<-- Brother wrote that parenthetical addition. Or perhaps a bright pink jumping rope with feather tasseled handles. He would LOVE to borrow that. 8)

The Snicket is Better a Little Lemony

We saw the Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events movie tonight with our dad. Sister has read all of the books I believe. I have read none of them, though I did have plans to, and still do. But, there are a LOT of books that I PLAN to read. Some I have even actually started reading. Perhaps if I hadn't read The Neverending Story I wouldn't feel so compelled to read all of these stories. It could also be that short stories and picture books are my downfall. Sometimes it takes a great effort for a story to really gain my rapt attention, even if it is one that I am very interested in reading. This may explain my love of children's stories. They understand the fickle attentions of a juvenile (or juvenile level) reader and compensate with grand sceneries, uniquely intriguing characters, and evocative details. This movie was lots of fun, especially the credits!

Yes, that's all. Odd, no?

Hear Ye: LAST SHOPPING WEEKEND BEFORE CHRISTMAS

But, I don't care. Do you know that I read that book about the boy that always said, "I don't care." I think that his name was Pierre. He was eaten by a lion because he didn't care. That book taught me, correctly or not, that one must never NOT care. However, I am not concerned with the fact that this will be my last opportunity to chance severe bodily harm by braving the crowds at the local stores or mall. I do love all of my friends and family, but if I haven't been able to buy you a present, I'm sorry to say that I don't have the nerves to try now.

On a serious note, one of my coworkers passed away this past Wednesday. Another reason that I don't care about the shopping potential of today. His funeral is later today. While I didn't get the chance to really know him, I know his girlfriend, and she's a sweet lady. They cared about each other very much, and this isn't going to be easy for her. She's in our prayers.

It will be a busy day later on, after I get some sleep. We have choir practice in the afternoon, and then I will be visiting with my dad. I pray that I don't get a bad attitude and drag other people down with me. There is hope for tomorrow because of what Christmas means: God loved us all so much that He sent his only Son to be born as a baby, live a human life, die a cruel death as a man, all so that we would be made right with God. It took Jesus' willing sacrifice to make atonement for our sin. Don't let me ever say that I am better than anyone because I have accepted this gift. I am just a sinner saved by grace, as you've probably heard said before. It's this hope that allows me to go on without staying in those depths of despair, and I know that I will see those loved ones who have gone home. If you don't have it yet, please get this joy, hope, love, and peace for yourself!

If you have questions about how to accept God's gift, you could check out http://www.saved.com, and http://www.planetwisdom.com might also help.

If you have more questions, you can post a comment on my blog and I'll see if I can get the answers for you. I also strongly encourage you to seek out a Christian friend or relative, and especially a local church. May God bless you and communicate his great love to you in a special way.

I DIDN"T FLUNK!!!

I checked my grades today (as I have been trying desperately to do for the past three days: I know I'm a dork) and am very happy to report that I DID NOT FLUNK! My good friends and sibs know, that is my "I'm-trying-(but-not-too-hard)-to-be-modest" way of saying that I did good! I brought my cumulative grade point average(GPA) up .04 points. This is good because the school that I want to get into is VERY competitive, especially the nursing program. I have heard of people just barely getting into said school with GPA's similar to mine, and being at the bottom of the incoming class! It's only just a little bit more than somewhat intimidating. But, I know that I can do it. And if not, I could just follow one of my collateral career paths: teaching, forensic pathology, automotive technician, plumber, cosmetologist, brain surgeon. I really am interested in all of these occupations, though I am not certain what kind of skill I would have at them. I am still not certain as to my potential nursing caliber, either. I remember learning that it's better to pray than worry, so I will just be doing a lot of praying.

I hope that your grades are to your satisfaction, and that of the college/program/field that you want to get into, as well. And thankfully, grades don't mean everything. Sometimes they can mean a good scholarship, a fellowship, or an award; but having skill, ability, and common sense are also very important. Perhaps your intelligence is more towards a car's fuel injection system than a person's digestive system. It's a different kind of knowledge. So, the great and powerful "FiOz" tells you to accentuate the positive: build on your strengths, and your weaknesses. Identify your strengths so that you can put them to good use for yourself and those around you, and identify your weaknesses so that you can learn from them and see where they might help you as well.

And don't eat too many servings of "Sugar Free" foods. An overabundance of sorbitol may overly facilitate gastrointestinal peristalsis, hence the warnings on labels: “Excess consumption may have a laxative effect.” Happy Christmas Break!

Oh, the Maddening Din

I am not quite sure just why the Din is so maddening; he's probably a nice chap if you happen to have a really good pair of earplugs. Truly, the din around Christmas has almost given me cause to be concernced. With this fall semester winding to an end (my last final is tomorrow!), trying to figure out what to do about Christmas presents, participating in the Christmas Cantata at church, putting off figuring out what to do about moving all of my stuff, helping out the family, and all the other minutiae of life, I am about ready to just go hibernate until next April. (Actually it would probably take very little to convince me to hibernate for the winter, if it weren't for the plugging process: blech!)

Other factors are probably exacerbating my fritz: I think that I need to get more sleep, drink more water, eat more greens, and definitely get more exercise. It is so exhilirating to race along the streets atop my bicycle; the wind whipping my ponytail underneath my helmet as I pass my brother at the top of the hill! Exercise certainly does improve your attitude, mine more so when I am competing with my brother. I can tell that I need to get more exercise because I am having a much harder time even trying to keep up with him now. If I can't keep up with Brother on my bicycle, I'm certain to be run over by holiday bargain-hunting hoardes. So, there is nothing left to do but right my epitaph:

She walked to the checkout, sweater in hand;
too bad for her, everyone else ran.

Yeah, it needs work. If you have a better one, please e-mail me or post it as a comment. But in mind of my tender condition, please don't go get it in stone just yet.