The other day I went to fix a sandwich for work and decided to have chicken lunch meat, as that was the only lunchmeat left in the fridge besides the big pack of turkey lunchmeat. The turkey lunchmeat is newer, and I am somewhat crazy about rotating our grocery stock. It certainly wasn't past date, but I checked with my olfactory organ just to make sure that it was okay. Then I stopped myself. Can any processed, packaged wannabe meat be "okay."
And we muddle through still.
I don't know if I have mentioned it much on here, but I am living in an apartment with my best friend now. It is kind of interesting so far. We still haven't gotten everything unpacked, but the dining/living room is coming together. BBB hung up some of the artwork the other day, and it really livened it up, made it even more like home. We've both kind of gotten used to moving, probably she more than I, so it hasn't been too hard for us to feel at home. That actually happened pretty quick. I think what we're starting to do now is set up those little habits and peculiarities for us in our new place.
Like eating food that I would otherwise turn my nose up to. Ohh... I remember the days when I had a waistline. They weren't so long ago, were they?
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Randomocity
" I have just a little more than 20 minutes, I can make it. Get in there, get the job done, and get out... in 20 minutes. Alright, let's give it a go. First the left and let it warm up. Oh, not too hot. A little bit of the right one. Nope, I need it warmer. Ugghh... too hot. Let's get this right. A little bit of cold water. Aackk, that's much... more... freezing..."
Tomorrow's Headline: COLLEGE STUDENT DIES OF HYPOTHERMIA While Attempting to Take a Shower
As sad as the circumstance is, there is a lesson to be learned: remember to always turn the knobs slowly.
~~,~~~@~~~`~~~@~~~,~~~@~~~`~~~@~~~,~~
Es el fin de semestre.
Hallelujah is a universal word.
My last Chemistry test (prior to the final) was today. My brain has already begun it's more complex form of post-semester decomposition.
I look forward to walking, working, hiking, biking, reading, and praying more over the summer.
Today is the National Day of Prayer. Check your calendar, it's on there. Check your life, is it in there?
Tomorrow's Headline: COLLEGE STUDENT DIES OF HYPOTHERMIA While Attempting to Take a Shower
As sad as the circumstance is, there is a lesson to be learned: remember to always turn the knobs slowly.
~~,~~~@~~~`~~~@~~~,~~~@~~~`~~~@~~~,~~
Es el fin de semestre.
Hallelujah is a universal word.
My last Chemistry test (prior to the final) was today. My brain has already begun it's more complex form of post-semester decomposition.
I look forward to walking, working, hiking, biking, reading, and praying more over the summer.
Today is the National Day of Prayer. Check your calendar, it's on there. Check your life, is it in there?
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Physical Brain States
This morning in Philosophy, we continued our dicussion on the philosophy of the mind. Our good friend René Descartes is in on this discussion as well, as he was in many of the areas of philosophical discourse.
We were discussing the views of Dualism, more specifically substance dualism, versus Materialism in the question of whether the mind is a seperate thing from the body. I don't think that I could adequately relate both views, but I will try for the quickie versions. The substance dualist might say that there are two kinds of substances in reality, matter (physical substance) and mental substance, the body and brain being physical matter and the mind being made of this mental substance. The simple problem with this is that there is no way to prove the existence of "mental matter," or how the mind would then interact with the physical matter that is our brain.
The materialist tries to simplify the problem further by saying that there is no such thing as the mind or mental matter. There is only the physical body, the brain. Any thoughts, feelings, or mental states that we have are equivalent with the physiological processes that we have observed during these mental states. Our professor used pain as his pet example. Studies using MRI scans have shown that certain fibers in the brain, c-fibers, fire when people experience the mental state of pain. He said that there is a bit more to it than that, but that the materialist says this mental state is not something that we experience seperate from the physiological response: we have no "mind."
The problem with Materialism is that if there is no mind, if we don't experience mental states apart from our physical states, then what makes us who we are? This view would have us understand ALL of our mental states (pain, love, joy, anger, fright, confusion, etc.) to simply be physiological, perhaps chemical reactions taking place in our brain and central nervous system. Our professor said that this gets tricky because by believing this, you are basically saying there is no soul.
All this to tell you that when I heard this in class, it made me think of the story of the little mermaid, the actual one by Hans Christian Anderson. In the story, mermaids don't have immortal souls. When they die, they simply turn to foam. In a weird, funny way, if one subscribes to Materialism, then they believe that we turn to foam when we die. My reasoning for this is that the materialist says that mental states = brain states. Therefore, when our brain dies, we die. Well, during the process of natural decomposition of the body, the brain is one of the organs that goes early. This is because "all the bacteria in the mouth chew through the palate," says Arpad Vass in Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach. The brain is quite soft and apparently easy for the bacteria to munch. "The brain liquefies very quickly. It just pours out the ears and bubbles out the mouth." This is known as "frothy purge."
So, if you believe that we are just physical matter and firing electrons, then you might say that we too turn to foam when we die.
We were discussing the views of Dualism, more specifically substance dualism, versus Materialism in the question of whether the mind is a seperate thing from the body. I don't think that I could adequately relate both views, but I will try for the quickie versions. The substance dualist might say that there are two kinds of substances in reality, matter (physical substance) and mental substance, the body and brain being physical matter and the mind being made of this mental substance. The simple problem with this is that there is no way to prove the existence of "mental matter," or how the mind would then interact with the physical matter that is our brain.
The materialist tries to simplify the problem further by saying that there is no such thing as the mind or mental matter. There is only the physical body, the brain. Any thoughts, feelings, or mental states that we have are equivalent with the physiological processes that we have observed during these mental states. Our professor used pain as his pet example. Studies using MRI scans have shown that certain fibers in the brain, c-fibers, fire when people experience the mental state of pain. He said that there is a bit more to it than that, but that the materialist says this mental state is not something that we experience seperate from the physiological response: we have no "mind."
The problem with Materialism is that if there is no mind, if we don't experience mental states apart from our physical states, then what makes us who we are? This view would have us understand ALL of our mental states (pain, love, joy, anger, fright, confusion, etc.) to simply be physiological, perhaps chemical reactions taking place in our brain and central nervous system. Our professor said that this gets tricky because by believing this, you are basically saying there is no soul.
All this to tell you that when I heard this in class, it made me think of the story of the little mermaid, the actual one by Hans Christian Anderson. In the story, mermaids don't have immortal souls. When they die, they simply turn to foam. In a weird, funny way, if one subscribes to Materialism, then they believe that we turn to foam when we die. My reasoning for this is that the materialist says that mental states = brain states. Therefore, when our brain dies, we die. Well, during the process of natural decomposition of the body, the brain is one of the organs that goes early. This is because "all the bacteria in the mouth chew through the palate," says Arpad Vass in Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach. The brain is quite soft and apparently easy for the bacteria to munch. "The brain liquefies very quickly. It just pours out the ears and bubbles out the mouth." This is known as "frothy purge."
So, if you believe that we are just physical matter and firing electrons, then you might say that we too turn to foam when we die.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
A Shared Sagacity
"Ask the former generations and find out what their fathers learned, for we were born only yesterday and know nothing, and our days on earth are but a shadow."
-Job 8:8-9
Earlier this afternoon, I was able to visit a good friend of mine whom I have not been previosuly disposed to see for the past three weeks or so. Thelma is a friend of the lady that I used to live with, Helen. Helen made it a certain habit to go and visit Thelma every Friday afternoon, as often as she was able. She took the two local newspapers to Thelma, and we would stay and watch Jeopardy. They had known each other for many, many years. When their husbands were still alive, they would all spend time together. Sister has met Thelma one time, and I imagine that she could confirm my saying that Thelma is a wonderful lady.
She called me the other evening and told me that her daughter, who had been battling cancer for some time, passed away. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of losing a child, no matter what his or her age. Thelma's granddaughter, Kelly, has been helping both her mother and grandmother. She has been taking it quite hard since she had been so close to her mother through much of her ordeal. Thelma was matter-of-fact. She didn't cry or ask me to come see her, but when you're grieving, if you're like me, you need people whether you tell them that or not. We were both glad to see each other when I did stop by.
Despite the slight melancholic atmosphere, we had what was pretty much one of our regular conversations. We talk about so many things. I think that we think alike; instead of thinking linearly, we both use circular strings of thought (though mine might actually be more entropic than that). The conversation got around to the uses of profanity, and then marital disputes. Thelma has had many rich life experiences, and she is wonderful at sharing the gems of knowledge that she has collected along the way. "If you and your husband are ever upset or angry with each other, you should dress yourself up, have your husband dress up, and go out. Do something that you both enjoy doing. Have fun together."
There is a story that goes with this pearl of wisdom. At one time Thelma worked for the Family Services Agency. She saw many couples that would come in for counseling, and as numerous as they were, they often shared similar problems. One lady came to see a counselor about her relationship with her husband feeling worn-out. The counselor asked her, "What did you and your husband do for fun before you married?" "Well, we used to go fishing," the somewhat befuddled lady replied, for what does fishing have to do with an unhappy marriage? The counselor then further inquired as to when they had last gone fishing together. "I can't even remember, it's been so long," was the lady's response. "Sometime within the next two weeks, if you can, get your fishing gear together, perhaps pack a picnic lunch, and go fishing with your husband."
With the counselor's order fresh in her mind, the lady went home and pulled out their old rods and reels. Her husband wasn't quite sure what was going on, but he didn't mind a short vacation from the mundane. They packed into the car, stopped and bought some bait at the store, and spent a warm afternoon at the lake. They didn't catch very much more than the few flies that tried to infiltrate their lunch.
When the lady next went to see the counselor, she was asked how things were going. The lady explained, "Well, I took your advice. Bill and I went fishing. We didn't really catch anything and we did get a bit of a sunburn. But that was the most fun that we've had together in years."
In this manner Thelma related an important piece of advice for me to remember: you have to be friends with your spouse. You should be able to have fun together.
Sometimes opening a bucket of worms isn't such a bad thing.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Green Chickpeas
Last night, which is still only one or two hours ago, was splendid. At work, we completed our work load and left two hours early. We were also sent home with goodies since there had been a party earlier today. The day shift left some wonderful things: chocolate covered peanuts, some exquisite peanut butter fudge cheesecake stuff, a meat and cheese tray, and some salsa con queso. I brought home the rest of the peanut butter cheesecake stuff and the salsa con queso. Mmm.
After work, since I got off early, I planned to go watch the rental movies with Sister and Brother, but they were going out to the movies with Mom and Jolly. So, much to my delight, I was able to watch a movie with Grandma. We declined to view the rental movies in favor of an old film version of Little Lord Fauntelroy, based on the book by Frances Hodgson Burnett. When we were still homeschooling, this book was on the list of books that Mom wanted us to read, and I actually read it. I think that I first heard the story when Mom read it to us. (And that's a wonderful habit, I think. Sharing treasured stories aloud, whether by recitation or reading, is such an amazing memory.)
I forgot how funny it was, and there were some very notable actors of the day in the movie. Mickey Rooney played the role of Dick, the shoeshine boy that was friends with young Ceddie. One of the Barrymore ladies was in it as well, but I don't think that it was Ethel, and I honestly couldn't tell you for sure. Grandma worked on the houseshoes/bedsocks that she is knitting while we both watched the film. It was nice.
Driving home in these wee hours has been nice. There is almost no one else on the road, and I can roll the windows down, turn the radio on (or not) and just take my time. I was especially taking my time this evening. After turning onto East German Canal street, I saw a light, tan-colored feline slinking across the five lanes not too far ahead. It did hurry up and finish across. Further down, when I was closer to home, I spotted something by the trash bags that were moping in front of one of the darkened houses. I slowed down to make sure that I didn't hit it, and I caught a glimpse of it: a raccoon. I went a few driveways up and turned around to go see it again. I was stalking a small, foraging raccoon at 1:00 in the morning. I finally did go home after getting in a few more good looks at him.
Well, if I don't want to look like he did, I better go ahead and go get some sleep. I feel like I might fall asleep on the keyboarlkj e li sdlkfj nr aokls oiwer/;/o awiiuse;rl.
After work, since I got off early, I planned to go watch the rental movies with Sister and Brother, but they were going out to the movies with Mom and Jolly. So, much to my delight, I was able to watch a movie with Grandma. We declined to view the rental movies in favor of an old film version of Little Lord Fauntelroy, based on the book by Frances Hodgson Burnett. When we were still homeschooling, this book was on the list of books that Mom wanted us to read, and I actually read it. I think that I first heard the story when Mom read it to us. (And that's a wonderful habit, I think. Sharing treasured stories aloud, whether by recitation or reading, is such an amazing memory.)
I forgot how funny it was, and there were some very notable actors of the day in the movie. Mickey Rooney played the role of Dick, the shoeshine boy that was friends with young Ceddie. One of the Barrymore ladies was in it as well, but I don't think that it was Ethel, and I honestly couldn't tell you for sure. Grandma worked on the houseshoes/bedsocks that she is knitting while we both watched the film. It was nice.
Driving home in these wee hours has been nice. There is almost no one else on the road, and I can roll the windows down, turn the radio on (or not) and just take my time. I was especially taking my time this evening. After turning onto East German Canal street, I saw a light, tan-colored feline slinking across the five lanes not too far ahead. It did hurry up and finish across. Further down, when I was closer to home, I spotted something by the trash bags that were moping in front of one of the darkened houses. I slowed down to make sure that I didn't hit it, and I caught a glimpse of it: a raccoon. I went a few driveways up and turned around to go see it again. I was stalking a small, foraging raccoon at 1:00 in the morning. I finally did go home after getting in a few more good looks at him.
Well, if I don't want to look like he did, I better go ahead and go get some sleep. I feel like I might fall asleep on the keyboarlkj e li sdlkfj nr aokls oiwer/;/o awiiuse;rl.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
She said of the library, "I'm not impressed."
No, I have not traveled overseas this past week, I haven't even left the state. However, I have had a good week so far. On Tuesday I did get to go hiking, sort of. BBB and I went to meet some of her friends at a mountain that's not too far away. (People from out of town say that it's really more of a hill, but it's the closest that we have. ) They didn't show up, so we just hung out at the playground area and walked one of the flat trails. There were a LOT of kids there. Many, many children were running around. The weather was wonderful, so it was understandable. Almost perfect spring break weather. After walking the flat trail, we just went home and ate lunch. I watched Tuck Everlasting for the first time. Of course, I cried at the end. It was sappy and sweet.
Yesterday, Sister and I took another short road trip, a little bit longer than to the mountain, to visit one of the colleges that she is interested in attending in the fall. There was a young man who attended the school that guided a short, one-hour walking tour around the campus. It is a large campus. While we were in that area, Sister treated me to lunch and we also stopped in at a Cingular store. We really stopped in to get directions to the college, but the lady that worked there also told us about the different calling plans that they have. Pretty cool. I don't know if Cingular is the company that I will want to go with. I would prefer to shop around a little bit more.
Sister and I also checked out three more movies yesterday: Vanity Fair with Reese Witherspoon (and Bob Hoskins *grin*), Henry V, because Brother has been wanting to check that out for some time, and The Station Agent. I have been interested in the last movie since it came out. I am just hoping that it was a good pick. Some of the movies that we have brought home have been somewhat embarrasing. We watched Vanity Fair the other evening, and it wasn't so bad. Some parts brought out my soft, sentimental side. But, Sister says that the ending was happy, or good, or something like that. Not too many people died completely, so she might be right.
That leaves today. Quite a few loads of laundry were done today. I also got some real sleep the evening last. I think I will also get some real sleep tonight. And tomorrow will be lots of fun. Pizza and a movie with the kids at church, swimming with Little Sister, and the mystery dinner theater with Bestest Best Buddy. Good times, good times. I hope that you have a wonderful day tomorrow as well!
Don't fool or be fooled too much.
Yesterday, Sister and I took another short road trip, a little bit longer than to the mountain, to visit one of the colleges that she is interested in attending in the fall. There was a young man who attended the school that guided a short, one-hour walking tour around the campus. It is a large campus. While we were in that area, Sister treated me to lunch and we also stopped in at a Cingular store. We really stopped in to get directions to the college, but the lady that worked there also told us about the different calling plans that they have. Pretty cool. I don't know if Cingular is the company that I will want to go with. I would prefer to shop around a little bit more.
Sister and I also checked out three more movies yesterday: Vanity Fair with Reese Witherspoon (and Bob Hoskins *grin*), Henry V, because Brother has been wanting to check that out for some time, and The Station Agent. I have been interested in the last movie since it came out. I am just hoping that it was a good pick. Some of the movies that we have brought home have been somewhat embarrasing. We watched Vanity Fair the other evening, and it wasn't so bad. Some parts brought out my soft, sentimental side. But, Sister says that the ending was happy, or good, or something like that. Not too many people died completely, so she might be right.
That leaves today. Quite a few loads of laundry were done today. I also got some real sleep the evening last. I think I will also get some real sleep tonight. And tomorrow will be lots of fun. Pizza and a movie with the kids at church, swimming with Little Sister, and the mystery dinner theater with Bestest Best Buddy. Good times, good times. I hope that you have a wonderful day tomorrow as well!
Don't fool or be fooled too much.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Dubo Yubou Spubeak "Zuboom Spubeak"?
My brain is currently on vacation. It left sometime last Friday, about 1:20pm, I think. Spring Break, so far, has been nothing special to speak of. That's not completely true. Yesterday was lovely, and Saturday was nice too. I have had a good time. It's just not flying to Barcelona or tripping around Rome in a pair of espadrillas, a flowered sundress, and a large, floppy straw hat. That's probably a good thing though, as I don't speak a bit of Italian. The only Italian words that I know are those that are related to The Olive Garden. Maybe I should eat there more often. Mmm... eggplant! Nah, I really like my grandma's eggplant spaghetti better. Besides, I'd rather go camping right now than hop across the pond.
I don't drink nor do I plan on drinking, but I feel like I understand, at least a little bit, what a hangover must feel like. I am fairly certain that mine is caused by a combination of elevated blood sugar and sleep deprivation. Again last night, I stayed up until about 3:00 in the morning watching season one DVDs of Dead Like Me with Sister and Brother. Certain amounts of ice cream and soda were consumed as well. Oh, the throbbing pain of idiocy. I slept a little bit late, so perhaps it won't be too big a deal.
Perhaps getting out and running would alleviate some of the pain. That and drinking more water. It isn't raining today as it has been for the past few. I very much hope that it remains sunny and dry so that I can go hiking. Plans to drag the siblings, BBB, and whoever else I can get to come along have already been formulated. But, not today. It will still be too wet. There is also cleaning and packing to be done here at home. In a little less than a month now, BBB and I will be on our own. Exhiliration and anxiety.
Our apartment will be my third move within the past year. It seems like it has been longer since Helen went home, and still not that long at all. I haven't been out to visit, or called her niece or brother-in-law. I do want to, but I don't have any clue what to say, other than to tell them that I'm moving... again. *sigh* It seems that the changing of address kind of mimics what's happening in other areas of my life. I feel quite fluid right now. There are a few fairly stable factors at play (same job; still keeping in constant contact with my family; my best friend and I are still friends and neither has dismembered the other, yet). There is just a desire to root somewhere. Not a physical place. I have a sneaking suspicion that some might say I am "looking for myself." I don't know if that's a bad way to look at it, but I do feel a little lost to myself. What do I believe and why do I believe that? Who am I in the context of my relationships? Do my relationships define who I am?
One thing that I do know, as certainly as I can know anything, is that my relationship with my Redeemer has defined me in a different way, redefined me. He has made me better than I could ever be on my own. If we had to wear our souls for our bodies, I can guarantee you that mine wouldn't be a very pretty sight. But it looks exceedingly better than it used to. A redeeming work through the blood of Jesus Christ has wrought this soul into something much more comely than it's previously gnarled, scarred, and jagged self. All I could do was cry out. He gave the grace. I received the forgiveness.
Disclaimer: As introspective as this may sound, I'm still a total garbanzo bean. But I know that you love me anyway! (well, you didn't have to make that face, hmph!)
I don't drink nor do I plan on drinking, but I feel like I understand, at least a little bit, what a hangover must feel like. I am fairly certain that mine is caused by a combination of elevated blood sugar and sleep deprivation. Again last night, I stayed up until about 3:00 in the morning watching season one DVDs of Dead Like Me with Sister and Brother. Certain amounts of ice cream and soda were consumed as well. Oh, the throbbing pain of idiocy. I slept a little bit late, so perhaps it won't be too big a deal.
Perhaps getting out and running would alleviate some of the pain. That and drinking more water. It isn't raining today as it has been for the past few. I very much hope that it remains sunny and dry so that I can go hiking. Plans to drag the siblings, BBB, and whoever else I can get to come along have already been formulated. But, not today. It will still be too wet. There is also cleaning and packing to be done here at home. In a little less than a month now, BBB and I will be on our own. Exhiliration and anxiety.
Our apartment will be my third move within the past year. It seems like it has been longer since Helen went home, and still not that long at all. I haven't been out to visit, or called her niece or brother-in-law. I do want to, but I don't have any clue what to say, other than to tell them that I'm moving... again. *sigh* It seems that the changing of address kind of mimics what's happening in other areas of my life. I feel quite fluid right now. There are a few fairly stable factors at play (same job; still keeping in constant contact with my family; my best friend and I are still friends and neither has dismembered the other, yet). There is just a desire to root somewhere. Not a physical place. I have a sneaking suspicion that some might say I am "looking for myself." I don't know if that's a bad way to look at it, but I do feel a little lost to myself. What do I believe and why do I believe that? Who am I in the context of my relationships? Do my relationships define who I am?
One thing that I do know, as certainly as I can know anything, is that my relationship with my Redeemer has defined me in a different way, redefined me. He has made me better than I could ever be on my own. If we had to wear our souls for our bodies, I can guarantee you that mine wouldn't be a very pretty sight. But it looks exceedingly better than it used to. A redeeming work through the blood of Jesus Christ has wrought this soul into something much more comely than it's previously gnarled, scarred, and jagged self. All I could do was cry out. He gave the grace. I received the forgiveness.
Disclaimer: As introspective as this may sound, I'm still a total garbanzo bean. But I know that you love me anyway! (well, you didn't have to make that face, hmph!)
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