Dates and Dollars

Yesterday was a long but very enriching day. With the events of the day and the week before it, I was personally reminded about living out my vows to Zack during our engagement period.


http://ezinearticles.com/?Traditional-Christian-Wedding-Vows&id=401286


IN GOOD TIMES

Zack's niece turned 15 on Friday, so Saturday night we had a birthday party for her at her grandma's house. The attendees were the Birthday Girl herself, her younger brother, their dad, their grandma, Zack and I. It feels so good to be a part of the family and to enjoy the benefits of that position: I'm able to join in the celebrations and life events that help shape who we are together.


The food was good, as is always the case when Zack's mom is flexing her culinary muscles. Watching his niece unwrap her presents and listening as she read out loud the notes from her cards was such a warm thing: it's a good feeling to see her value being reinforced. Parties always seem to be fun, even if you're not necessarily a key player in the festivities.

IN BUSY

I can't say that it was bad in any way, but Sunday was definitely a BUSY day all around. We all went to church together providing a peaceful start for our day. After the service, we talked with the lady who knows what's going on (read: church secretary) about confirming the date for our wedding and making the down payment. The date is set and the check is written.


It's so official now!

Once we departed the church building, we went to have lunch and then on to the mall in order to find some new clothes for Zack's niece. His mom and I scoured the racks for the right sizes and good deals, double checking that what we were finding was what she was looking for. At this point it should be said that Zack's niece is a very patient, very agreeable young lady. She tried on several outfits and was understanding in the event that we accidentally grabbed the wrong size or style. I can't remember her saying a single negative thing the whole afternoon, unless you're counting the few comments frustratedly aimed at her younger brother. Several events in the past few months have stoked my anticipation about being an aunt to such cool kids and getting to encourage them as my aunts have encouraged me.

Zack also got his "cool uncle" kicks in by rescuing his nephew away to a less-girly zone. They got the matriarchal blessing and hastily left to check out shoes, shorts and other guy stuff. It wasn't too long before they came back and checked in with us though; just long enough to keep his nephew from going bananas from boredom and driving his older sister bonkers too.

It was a pretty long afternoon, as can happen when clothes shopping is on the agenda. But the afternoon was another period of time that allowed me to kind of mentally take a step back and have my affection for such a generous, godly man reinforced. (He might not self-identify with the latter label, but the more time I spend with him, the more I see these divine influences on his character, his senses of compassion, justice, generosity and even humour.)

Things are rarely "perfect," at least according to the way I imagine most people would define the word. Imperfection adds so much richness and a little tension can strengthen the sinews, if approached correctly. I honestly do not have the words to express my delight and excitement over getting to spend my life with Zack.

Grateful.

I am ever so grateful.

NOTE: This post took a little while longer to finish than I anticipated (6/10/11).

Breaking out, breaking in

No. More. School. !

Well, at least for this year. My semester wrapped up officially this past Tuesday. My last final was the former Friday, but I worked in the biology department through Tuesday. Glad for that - a little extra money for over the break and time with the colorful biology locals. I also needed to pick up cookie dough that I had ordered from one of co-worker's daughters. The daughter had a school fundraiser earlier this year and I couldn't resist cookie dough + helping her school. What I didn't remember until Tuesday was that I had ordered a pumpkin cake roll in addition to the cranberry oatmeal cookie dough. My contribution to grandma's Christmas dinner is ready to be thawed and served.

I'm leaving my school schedule behind, but trying not to have an unproductive break. Sis has helped me pick knitting back up to my great delight! She went with me to the craft store to pick out the yarn (though she very much disagreed with my color choices), spent at least a few hours helping me relearn how to cast on and get going. Sis found an argyle scarf pattern that uses double knitting, so it's easier to make the pattern than doing a fair isle knit and it will be extra warm. This way I'll have two hand-made presents for some good friends that hopefully they'll be able to use for a while, plus the pleasure of pouring my energy into something creative. I'm loving it!

My Colorful Christmas Guide

GREEN-ER CHRISTMAS

Sustainable, recycled, recyclable, or reusable items make good gifts for the receiver and for the planet. If you're a craft person, try (carefully) making jewelry out of coke tabs, bottle caps, or other finds. You could also try a resale shop or flea market - be part of the market that helps prevent overflowing landfills.

You can also choose more eco-friendly gift wrapping, such as a bag that can be reused or newsprint or old magazine pages instead of wrapping paper, which sometimes can't be recycled. Since my mother raised unusual children with unusual methods I've taken to saving my wrapping paper from gifts that I receive and using it the next year to wrap presents. It's not always as pretty as department store wrapping paper but it certainly has plenty of character and is thus a good reflection of the giver. Less expensive too.

And don't forget about local artisans - their wares aren't mass-produced; they have a more personal, meaningful quality; instead of being shipped across the nation, they can be picked up perhaps across town, which saves on fuel and pollution. You'll find some amazing, whimsical, sturdy, beautiful, different things.

Additional resource: RELEVANT magazine's 2010 Gift Guide

ORANGE-ER CHRISTMAS

This one is a little new for me, but ORANGE is the official color of freedom, especially for those who are familiar with the NOT FOR SALE campaign or other organizations that seek to put an end to modern slavery in any of its incarnations: forced labor, slave labor, sex trafficking, etc.

A few steps you can take: look up the companies that you're considering purchasing from and see if there is information available on their corporate policies and follow-through related to forced labor. One excellent resource for that is a project from NFS called Free2Work. Their website is http://free2work.org. You can browse through the companies they have listed or look up a specific company to see how they fair with F2W's grading system, which is based on a rubric of different categories relating to company policies, employment empowerment, and prevention, among other things.

Some other options are looking for Fair Trade certified items or similarly monitored sources - food, clothing, home goods, jewelry, and small gifts are among the things you can find. A few places well worth your time:

The Not For Sale Freedom Store

Maggie's Organics - Organic & Fair Trade Clothing

They have CUTE socks and other apparel as well as adorable sock animals. You can find some of their scarfs at a local Whole Foods grocer.

Worldofgood.com

This is a daughter website of eBay with lots of products to choose from - organic, environmentally friendly, and several fair trade.

PURPLE-ER CHRISTMAS

Purple is traditionally the primary color of the season of Advent (reference). While shopping for presents, listening to 24-7 Christmas music, watching holiday specials on the telly, or running to and fro from Christmas party to holiday bash to church musical to family get-together - it's beyond easy to get burned out and feel more than little hum-buggy about it all. What can be done?!

Advent is a season of the Christian church calendar that calls for us to slow down, stop rushing, and find some quiet. We can quiet ourselves each morning, carving a little extra time to pray, listen, and read. If not in the morning, perhaps another time of the day. If you have children you can encourage some family time spent just enjoying each person's company.

Other calls that Advent places for us are penitence and rejoicing. We know that we've sinned and can't make things right on our own, no how. The joy comes in G-d sending his Son to be for us the sacrifice that make things right, once and for all: blotting out transgressions, binding up wounds, and healing broken hearts. Another joy of this season is the invitation that is extended to us, that we might join G-d in this work and be a part of his transformation that takes place from the inside-out.

Diminish your worries about finding the perfect gift for whomever and try not to spend over your budget. Ask and reflect: Where can we answer Christ's call to follow in His footsteps, seek those who are hurting, and share His love & grace?

WORLD AIDS DAY

...was technically yesterday, December 1st, 2010. I was able to see some of the AIDS memorial quilt that travels around to different parts of the country. It was on display at the Clinton Presidential Library in downtown Little Rock today. Since I arrived in the later afternoon I only saw some of the panels since they were beginning to put them away. They had been laid across the lawn. I'm not sure how many panels there were altogether, but it was enough to cover quite an area. In conjunction with the quilt display, there were volunteers from the Clinton School of Public Service who were reading aloud the names of people who had succumbed to AIDS. This oration was to stretch from midnight on the 1st until midnight this morning.

There were few casual observers in attendance when I came, perhaps a half dozen. However there was a bevy of students (and others?) carefully and respectfully folding the quilt panels in preparation for their return to storage and subsequent shipment to their next destination. While this mild mill of activity was taking place there was a lone figure atop the tiny hill in front of the presidential center reading aloud into a microphone name after name of person after person, strangers to both us, who had died as a result of AIDS. One lady, who I assumed to be an observer, stood and listened for a while. I took up an unmarked post next to her, listening and trying to discern my purpose for hearing these names. I was there for solidarity - these were people, brothers and sisters. They had families, loved ones, friends, pets, teachers, co-workers. Since the people involved found their lives important enough to document in this way, I felt some sense of duty to pay attention and acknowledge each person, as many as I could.

After standing attentively in place for about five minutes I honestly began to feel wildly out of place. It's not that I didn't belong because I didn't have or know anyone with AIDS or anyone who had died of AIDS. My discomfort came from a growing understanding of the depth of apathy and indifference toward people who have AIDS. I recognize AIDS and HIV as serious epidemic health disasters, but I often overlook the people and don't feel any sense of immediacy or importance to address this issue. I kind of let it get brushed under my proverbial do-gooder rug. Then and there, trying to be faithful and true to my calling, I sat to quietly pray. The prayers were for rejection of apathy on my part and the part of others. There were also supplications for advancement in medicine and science to prevent the spread of this disease and actively help those who are suffering with it now. It's no small figure, but the numbers have to be superceded by faces, by the lives of people. It's not that there are more than 32.9 million worldwide cases of AIDS. There are more than 32.9 million people who are losing their lives to battles with this virus-caused disease.

Lord, help us love.

On meetings, entreatings, and southern breakfast

My aunt organized a meeting between myself and a cousin who I had only met briefly a few years ago. I've admired her a lot based on just that initial meeting and what I had heard of her from family - she is married, in seminary, has one child and one on the way. Not to mention she's cool. She's a playwright, thespian and a generally creative person; a delight to be around from what I had heard.

Rumours were correct. She is very cool!

I'm really glad that she had so much to share. She's in the middle of working with people who have been trafficked for labor and is part of a ministry that is trying to figure out how to do justice right. Rich, passionate, and practical discussion took place. She also said that she liked Not For Sale, which is a non-profit organization that is seeking to end slavery in our lifetime. There is a lot to it, and it's a HUGE problem with so many faces that we don't even see. I appreciated her thoughts on turning over the burdens to G-d, trusting that he will forgive us for our unknowing part in this industry and with his help we can do our best to move forward and keep learning, keep fighting the good fight.

As for the food, it was a tasty breakfast of scrambled eggs and biscuits for me. Plus coffee, which shall not go overlooked. Zack had mentioned the cafe before but had not visited it. When my aunt was looking for a place to meet I couldn't think of one initially, but Zack suggested going there since they would be open early enough. Good call!

It was a fantastic morning, one that I was giving thanks for on the drive afterward. Thanks must be given for all the blessings that (and who) have crossed my path.

Bells shall peal

From Dictionary.com (a frequent resource):

en·gage
[en-geyj] verb,-gaged, -gag·ing

–verb (used with object)

1. to occupy the attention or efforts of (a person or persons): He engaged her in
conversation.

2. to secure for aid, employment, use, etc.; hire: to engage a worker; to engage a room.

3. to attract and hold fast: The novel engaged her attention and interest.

4. to attract or please: His good nature engages everyone.

5. to bind, as by pledge, promise, contract, or oath; make liable: He engaged himself to repay his debt within a month.

6. to betroth (usually used in the passive): They were engaged last week.

7. to bring (troops) into conflict; enter into conflict with: Our army engaged the enemy.

8. Mechanics. to cause (gears or the like) to become interlocked; interlock with.

9. to attach or secure.

10. (Obsolete) to entangle or involve.

This is my first post as a betrothed woman. I could not be happier! Zack asked me to marry him on the evening of October 23rd, just a little over a year from when we starting dating. Not all of the above definitions fit our present relationship status, but I thought it was pretty neat to consider their dictionary meanings in the context of our engagement. (silly, girly grin inserted here)

~@~

While Zack was cleaning this afternoon I got the chance to help him. He was vacuuming in the living room and asked me to pick up the area rug, shake the dust off, and then place it back down after he had run the vacuum cleaner over it. At one point during this process he exclaimed, "Yay, I have a helper!"

~@~

Probably about two weeks ago we were talking with two of the priests at church and they were congratulating us on our engagement. One shared that Thomas Aquinas wrote quite a bit on marriage and was asked at want point in the ceremony he believed the two people were "married:" at the exchanging of vows, rings, or the blessing of the priest, etc. He responded that he believed marriage truly started at engagement. Another way I saw this idea presented recently was through an article on RELEVANTmagazine.com:

"It was in this that I found my purpose for our engagement. The year and a half Libby and I are spending in the awkward chasm known as engagement will be spent living out our vows. I said it to her this way:

'I do these things because I want my actions in our engaged life to be my vows to you. Before our wedding day, before I utter any words, I want these actions to speak so much more loudly as my vows.' " -- Tom Hagedon

While there are still plans to be made and other events that will take place before we are married, we are taking this time to live our vows to each other and grow together. Zack's exclamation during our afternoon o' cleaning just hit me as a very poignant statement, one of mutual simplicity and profundity. I get to be his helper, by his side through life and him right beside me. That is exciting!

Bring on the dusting. We're teamed up and ready.

Prayer for Peace

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen.

--St. Francis of Assisi (1181-1226)