The 7th Anniversary of thehouse is in one week.
^_^
http://www.thehousenlr.com
Saturday, May 23, 2009
my sister is wonderful!
She listened to me whinge yesterday, helped me reorganize a bit in my new room, let me stay the night with her at the risk of her own health, bought me a box of this nasty fizzy drink called Emergen-C, and gave me plenty of tea to ameliorate my sore throat. Anything else aside, terrific runs somewhere in the family and a few people have it in spades. She's one of them.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
not chicken
We had a Catalyst meeting Sunday afternoon which was good - everybody was tired, but it always feels nice to get in there and hear everyone's ideas, to feel a part of what God's doing through these people to make a difference and reach young adults in our metro area. It's exciting planning the 7th anniversary coming up too. Lunch was provided and it was catered from Moe's - yum! There were steak or chicken burritos, white cheese dip, salsa, and chips as well as water to drink. My plate consisted of some cheese dip and salsa with chips as well as a chicken burrito that I didn't finish all of. Since there were leftovers Rach encouraged us to take some home. Following orders I grabbed two chicken burritos and a steak burrito. My grandma and sister each had a chicken burrito when I got to their house which left me a steak burrito this evening. I've been feeling funky, but not like a chicken.
~~@~~ - ~~@~~ - ~~@~~
The past few weeks have been so busy that I feel as if my time doesn't belong to me, which normally doesn't bother me. However, every so often every little thing that people say or do becomes an affront to me, rubbing me absolutely wrong and inciting my ire. It can take a day or so for decompression to take place when it wasn't always like this. A funk just settles over me and leaves me cranky like an old moving picture camera. Failure seems to add fuel to the fire; my personal limitations and stumbles lend a sense of fatality and bitterness that ends up stewing inside and spewing out on anyone who mildly offends me, especially those close to me or those who I already have a tenuous relationship with.
Vent, vent, vent.
To boil it down -- I want less of me, to fall out of love with me and my cares. In following Christ, I must decrease and He MUST increase. That's where the breakdown really ends up being found, when I don't keep putting Christ first and seeking His will in my life. Self control, compassion, and honoring others is so much more important; those people I've been hurting when I'm in this funk are worth SOO much more than my comfort or making myself feel good.
There is tomorrow and the hope Jesus Christ brings in that.
~~@~~ - ~~@~~ - ~~@~~
The past few weeks have been so busy that I feel as if my time doesn't belong to me, which normally doesn't bother me. However, every so often every little thing that people say or do becomes an affront to me, rubbing me absolutely wrong and inciting my ire. It can take a day or so for decompression to take place when it wasn't always like this. A funk just settles over me and leaves me cranky like an old moving picture camera. Failure seems to add fuel to the fire; my personal limitations and stumbles lend a sense of fatality and bitterness that ends up stewing inside and spewing out on anyone who mildly offends me, especially those close to me or those who I already have a tenuous relationship with.
Vent, vent, vent.
To boil it down -- I want less of me, to fall out of love with me and my cares. In following Christ, I must decrease and He MUST increase. That's where the breakdown really ends up being found, when I don't keep putting Christ first and seeking His will in my life. Self control, compassion, and honoring others is so much more important; those people I've been hurting when I'm in this funk are worth SOO much more than my comfort or making myself feel good.
There is tomorrow and the hope Jesus Christ brings in that.
God rescued us from dead-end alleys and dark dungeons. He's set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much, the Son who got us out of the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating. Colossians 1:13-14
Sunday, May 03, 2009
overcomin'
On Saturday nights at thehouse, the young adult service at First Assembly of God in NLR, Pastor Randy has shared two messages so far in a series called "Overcome." One of the main scriptures is Revelation 12:11, a strong verse that talks about those who belong to God overcoming Satan, their accuser:
Friday night I was zoinked after a long day of school, work study, Deaf Den (Deaf church service), t-shirt party and then running errands with my dad. Sadly, when I'm tired I don't try nearly half as hard to keep a reign on my words or attitudes. I got into it with my dad and was offended by whatever he said and took it all personally. Even while I was bickering with him I was apologizing for being so tired and argumentative. Psh. I was being an emotive slacker.
On the drive back to my dorm after dropping my dad off I was frustrated with myself for not keeping things in check, for letting loose my grouchiness on my dad, and for other general missteps of recent. "I'm just feeling like I'm not cutting the mustard, God. I keep messing up and not living up to who You have called me to be, to all I can be in You. I'm stubborn and thick-headed, Papa. Please teach me how to live like You've called me to, to show Your grace and love."
I got back to the dorm and decided that I would just brush my teeth, pray, and sleep since I was so exhausted. Then as I started reading it felt like God spoke something to me through that verse.
I had been kind of arguing that things people were saying to me made me feel like I was stupid or inferior. God was reminding me that what other people say is not important (which I think most people know, but it's hard to remember), even what I say about myself isn't important, but what's important is what God says about me.
"They defeated [overcame] him through the blood of the Lamb
and the bold word of their witness.
They weren't in love with themselves;
they were willing to die for Christ." (The Message)
Friday night I was zoinked after a long day of school, work study, Deaf Den (Deaf church service), t-shirt party and then running errands with my dad. Sadly, when I'm tired I don't try nearly half as hard to keep a reign on my words or attitudes. I got into it with my dad and was offended by whatever he said and took it all personally. Even while I was bickering with him I was apologizing for being so tired and argumentative. Psh. I was being an emotive slacker.
On the drive back to my dorm after dropping my dad off I was frustrated with myself for not keeping things in check, for letting loose my grouchiness on my dad, and for other general missteps of recent. "I'm just feeling like I'm not cutting the mustard, God. I keep messing up and not living up to who You have called me to be, to all I can be in You. I'm stubborn and thick-headed, Papa. Please teach me how to live like You've called me to, to show Your grace and love."
I got back to the dorm and decided that I would just brush my teeth, pray, and sleep since I was so exhausted. Then as I started reading it felt like God spoke something to me through that verse.
"You need to remember Whose you are and who you are in Me."
I had been kind of arguing that things people were saying to me made me feel like I was stupid or inferior. God was reminding me that what other people say is not important (which I think most people know, but it's hard to remember), even what I say about myself isn't important, but what's important is what God says about me.
- Remember Whose you are
- Remember who you are in Him
- This life is not it
They overcame by the blood of the Lamb - as Pastor Randy said tonight, it's because of Jesus' power that they overcame. In our separation from God, Jesus chose to be obedient to His Father and offer His life as a spotless sacrifice, acceptable as the only alternative for us since we can't make that kind of sacrifice. By His grace through my faith I belong to Him, the One who created all the things I can see and the things I can't see.
God says that anyone who is in Christ is a new creation (2 Cor 5:17) and that He has given us everything that we need to live the life He desires for us, His abundant, overflowing, and overcoming life (2 Peter 1:3, John 10:10). It's no small deal to Him either - He adopted me and calls me daughter, a child of His, grafted into the vine. He also says there is NO thing that can separate us from His love.
I won't be around to complain in 100 years about the argument my dad and I had last night. However, today, next year, and in the longer run I can make a difference when my words, thoughts, and actions are those that reflect God's love and show people that He's real and active in my life and wants to have a relationship with them. People are hungry for the hope that God offers. My prerogatives and selfish desires pale in the light of God's calling on my life.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
2-3 weeks out
Finals are doing what they seem to be good at this time of year - looming.
I've been up and down with sleep and sickness, plans and good times, as well as low points these few weeks past. Despite exhaustion, sleep isn't coming easily. That's changing. Sleep will come. I'm trusting for that. Now to just try to pull some of these drowning grades up.
On Today, it was a good one. I'm feeling MUCH better after going through hopefully the worst of this upper respiratory infection for the last week or so. I drove to and from my sister's college twice which was actually pleasant because
This afternoon I got a little work done, cleaned up some, and spent some much needed quiet time with G-d. I've been in need of guidance and peace, but I was going and running without taking time to be still. He definitely restored me this afternoon - physically and spiritually. Thank you, Lord; i needed that.
The later hours saw me meeting my best friend at the downtown farmer's market for dinner - some tasty Greek cuisine for me, Thai for D. After finishing dinner we took a lovely walk to a local library for a chamber music show. It was beautiful!
Dinner, a calm walk, and chamber music - who needs a boyfriend when you have a bestie like D? Yeah, she might slap me for that, all the "boy" talk she's heard from me over the years. She listens to so much. I'm thankful for a friend like her and glad that she listens to me go on when I have a crush or infatuation. She has been my solace many times.
Final aside - Pandora.com is great. You can create customized radio stations based on artists/songs you like. They play music with similar qualities and you can further customize it by adding other artists/songs to the same station or starting another station and by voting up/down the songs they play. I've enjoyed discovering a lot of music I had not heard before. Two new favorites are some film scores by Danny Elfman and a band called Akissforjersey.
I've been up and down with sleep and sickness, plans and good times, as well as low points these few weeks past. Despite exhaustion, sleep isn't coming easily. That's changing. Sleep will come. I'm trusting for that. Now to just try to pull some of these drowning grades up.
On Today, it was a good one. I'm feeling MUCH better after going through hopefully the worst of this upper respiratory infection for the last week or so. I drove to and from my sister's college twice which was actually pleasant because
- I was able to listen to the "Talons," the EP from DIES that I borrowed from Jeff
- the conversation with my sister is amazing - I love that girl!
- when she got in the car I switched DIES for classical Chinese music to accommodate her musical tastes - another good listen
- the weather was beautiful for being outside
- driving her to my college means that once she graduates this May with her BA then she'll be coming over here!
This afternoon I got a little work done, cleaned up some, and spent some much needed quiet time with G-d. I've been in need of guidance and peace, but I was going and running without taking time to be still. He definitely restored me this afternoon - physically and spiritually. Thank you, Lord; i needed that.
The later hours saw me meeting my best friend at the downtown farmer's market for dinner - some tasty Greek cuisine for me, Thai for D. After finishing dinner we took a lovely walk to a local library for a chamber music show. It was beautiful!
Dinner, a calm walk, and chamber music - who needs a boyfriend when you have a bestie like D? Yeah, she might slap me for that, all the "boy" talk she's heard from me over the years. She listens to so much. I'm thankful for a friend like her and glad that she listens to me go on when I have a crush or infatuation. She has been my solace many times.
Final aside - Pandora.com is great. You can create customized radio stations based on artists/songs you like. They play music with similar qualities and you can further customize it by adding other artists/songs to the same station or starting another station and by voting up/down the songs they play. I've enjoyed discovering a lot of music I had not heard before. Two new favorites are some film scores by Danny Elfman and a band called Akissforjersey.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Hater was my word
I am interested in words and etymology. Learning the original meanings, roots, and history of words almost seems like an adventure in the vein of Indiana Jones, but on a smaller, more bookish level. When I find a new word or learn something new about a familiar one I sometimes adopt it for a week and sprinkle it in my conversation to get to know it better, get a feel for it.
Hater was my word for a week and I'm not sure why. I didn't use it often, but more than I normally would. It's use was usually in a jovial manner with friends to mark a point of contention or disagreement. An example could be the text conversation between a friend and myself:
Kev: How ya doing?
Me: I'm tired. Moved into the dorms today. Need a nap and some Starbucks! :D
Kev: Starbucks is the devil.
Me: Whatever, hater!
Kevin and I aren't very close friends, but we joke around a lot when we do talk. It was a random conversation void of hard feelings. Nothing was meant poorly toward Kev by my choice of words.
While cleaning test tubes during work study I was listening to an audio book by Cathleen Falsani, Sin Boldly: A Field Guide for Grace. I've made it through Chapter 10 so far and don't think there is much more to go. She is a journalist and a writer on religion. In one of the chapters she mentioned one article that she wrote, among others, that drew her considerable amounts of hate mail mostly from those professing a like faith in Jesus Christ. They called her names, questioned her journalistic credentials and even her faith.
There are times when I am a hater, like those who attacked this writer through email. In the comfort of my opinions and limited self-knowledge, often without empathy for the other party, I lay down some heavy-handed words that probably serve to hurt much more than teach or encourage. This isn't the way I'm supposed to live. Jesus isn't making me into a hater; that's not His nature born in me, but something I've been holding onto.
1 Peter 5:7
Lamentations 3:56-58
Hater was my word for a week and I'm not sure why. I didn't use it often, but more than I normally would. It's use was usually in a jovial manner with friends to mark a point of contention or disagreement. An example could be the text conversation between a friend and myself:
Kev: How ya doing?
Me: I'm tired. Moved into the dorms today. Need a nap and some Starbucks! :D
Kev: Starbucks is the devil.
Me: Whatever, hater!
Kevin and I aren't very close friends, but we joke around a lot when we do talk. It was a random conversation void of hard feelings. Nothing was meant poorly toward Kev by my choice of words.
~~@~~ | ~~@~~ | ~~@~~
While cleaning test tubes during work study I was listening to an audio book by Cathleen Falsani, Sin Boldly: A Field Guide for Grace. I've made it through Chapter 10 so far and don't think there is much more to go. She is a journalist and a writer on religion. In one of the chapters she mentioned one article that she wrote, among others, that drew her considerable amounts of hate mail mostly from those professing a like faith in Jesus Christ. They called her names, questioned her journalistic credentials and even her faith.
There are times when I am a hater, like those who attacked this writer through email. In the comfort of my opinions and limited self-knowledge, often without empathy for the other party, I lay down some heavy-handed words that probably serve to hurt much more than teach or encourage. This isn't the way I'm supposed to live. Jesus isn't making me into a hater; that's not His nature born in me, but something I've been holding onto.
Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth.
Say only what helps, each word a gift.
Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart.
His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life,
making you fit for himself.
Don't take such a gift for granted.
- Ephesians 4:29-30 (The Message)
Psalm 55:22Say only what helps, each word a gift.
Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart.
His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life,
making you fit for himself.
Don't take such a gift for granted.
- Ephesians 4:29-30 (The Message)
~~@~~ | ~~@~~ | ~~@~~
NOOMA videos are amazing. I've only watched a few, but I really like the way that Rob Bell speaks and illustrates what is said in the Bible. The one I watched on YouTube was Rain. He was telling of a walk he took through the woods with his young son when it started to rain and storm. The connection was that when rain and storms come in our lives, God is right there and says that He will walk through them with us, holding us close. He mentioned Deuteronomy 1:31 - "There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."
Rob went on to say that it's not a question of whether storms come in our lives, it's a fact. It rains in our lives and it does it a lot. In the church we sometimes act like we must have everything together before coming to God, that He desires followers who are complete and whole. As Rob pointed out, it's almost the opposite. Jesus said that He didn't come for those who were well, but like a physician to those sick and in need. God calls us to bring our junkie, torn-up selves to Him and trust Him, cry out to Him, and He will answer and save us.
Matthew 9:11-13
Rob went on to say that it's not a question of whether storms come in our lives, it's a fact. It rains in our lives and it does it a lot. In the church we sometimes act like we must have everything together before coming to God, that He desires followers who are complete and whole. As Rob pointed out, it's almost the opposite. Jesus said that He didn't come for those who were well, but like a physician to those sick and in need. God calls us to bring our junkie, torn-up selves to Him and trust Him, cry out to Him, and He will answer and save us.
Matthew 9:11-13
1 Peter 5:7
Lamentations 3:56-58
~~@~~ | ~~@~~ | ~~@~~
There are times when hater could still be my word, but I want to change it and embrace the word Jesus has for me, the moniker fitting one who follows Him. It's probably not wholly summed in one word, but it's definitely painted with many shades of love and kindness. Love is what is supposed to mark me as a child of God, the love that I cultivate for my heavenly Father and my brothers and sisters in Christ. With all the love that I've been shown by Love Himself, how could I not share that with others? It's my calling.
My thought this afternoon was, I really like those people who get hate mail -- Showbread, Derek Webb, Cathleen Falsani. While there might be differences of opinion or belief, they are part of the same spiritual body that I take life from. Cutting them off from that would be like surgically removing myself from this body -- I cannot and should not try. Instead, my duty and privilege is to pray for, listen to, lovingly rebuke, encourage, and walk with those who share faith in Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. He is our perfection, and I'm as imperfect and messed up as they come without Him.
*I'd like to be an Islet of Langerhans in the body of Christ.
My thought this afternoon was, I really like those people who get hate mail -- Showbread, Derek Webb, Cathleen Falsani. While there might be differences of opinion or belief, they are part of the same spiritual body that I take life from. Cutting them off from that would be like surgically removing myself from this body -- I cannot and should not try. Instead, my duty and privilege is to pray for, listen to, lovingly rebuke, encourage, and walk with those who share faith in Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. He is our perfection, and I'm as imperfect and messed up as they come without Him.
*I'd like to be an Islet of Langerhans in the body of Christ.
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