overcomin'

On Saturday nights at thehouse, the young adult service at First Assembly of God in NLR, Pastor Randy has shared two messages so far in a series called "Overcome." One of the main scriptures is Revelation 12:11, a strong verse that talks about those who belong to God overcoming Satan, their accuser:

"They defeated [overcame] him through the blood of the Lamb
and the bold word of their witness.
They weren't in love with themselves;
they were willing to die for Christ." (The Message)

Friday night I was zoinked after a long day of school, work study, Deaf Den (Deaf church service), t-shirt party and then running errands with my dad. Sadly, when I'm tired I don't try nearly half as hard to keep a reign on my words or attitudes. I got into it with my dad and was offended by whatever he said and took it all personally. Even while I was bickering with him I was apologizing for being so tired and argumentative. Psh. I was being an emotive slacker.
On the drive back to my dorm after dropping my dad off I was frustrated with myself for not keeping things in check, for letting loose my grouchiness on my dad, and for other general missteps of recent. "I'm just feeling like I'm not cutting the mustard, God. I keep messing up and not living up to who You have called me to be, to all I can be in You. I'm stubborn and thick-headed, Papa. Please teach me how to live like You've called me to, to show Your grace and love."
I got back to the dorm and decided that I would just brush my teeth, pray, and sleep since I was so exhausted. Then as I started reading it felt like God spoke something to me through that verse.

"You need to remember Whose you are and who you are in Me."

I had been kind of arguing that things people were saying to me made me feel like I was stupid or inferior. God was reminding me that what other people say is not important (which I think most people know, but it's hard to remember), even what I say about myself isn't important, but what's important is what God says about me.

1. Remember Whose you are

They overcame by the blood of the Lamb - as Pastor Randy said tonight, it's because of Jesus' power that they overcame. In our separation from God, Jesus chose to be obedient to His Father and offer His life as a spotless sacrifice, acceptable as the only alternative for us since we can't make that kind of sacrifice. By His grace through my faith I belong to Him, the One who created all the things I can see and the things I can't see.


2. Remember who you are in Him

God says that anyone who is in Christ is a new creation (2 Cor 5:17) and that He has given us everything that we need to live the life He desires for us, His abundant, overflowing, and overcoming life (2 Peter 1:3, John 10:10). It's no small deal to Him either - He adopted me and calls me daughter, a child of His, grafted into the vine. He also says there is NO thing that can separate us from His love.


3. This life is not it

I won't be around to complain in 100 years about the argument my dad and I had last night. However, today, next year, and in the longer run I can make a difference when my words, thoughts, and actions are those that reflect God's love and show people that He's real and active in my life and wants to have a relationship with them. People are hungry for the hope that God offers. My prerogatives and selfish desires pale in the light of God's calling on my life.

Renee Yohe

2-3 weeks out

Finals are doing what they seem to be good at this time of year - looming.

I've been up and down with sleep and sickness, plans and good times, as well as low points these few weeks past. Despite exhaustion, sleep isn't coming easily. That's changing. Sleep will come. I'm trusting for that. Now to just try to pull some of these drowning grades up.

On Today, it was a good one. I'm feeling MUCH better after going through hopefully the worst of this upper respiratory infection for the last week or so. I drove to and from my sister's college twice which was actually pleasant because

• I was able to listen to the "Talons," the EP from DIES that I borrowed from Jeff
• the conversation with my sister is amazing - I love that girl!
• when she got in the car I switched DIES for classical Chinese music to accommodate her musical tastes - another good listen
• the weather was beautiful for being outside
• driving her to my college means that once she graduates this May with her BA then she'll be coming over here!

She's so smart. She'll be working on her second BA, this one in Studio Art. We may also be flatmates sharing on-campus housing with two other people, my current roommate and a friend from sign language class.

This afternoon I got a little work done, cleaned up some, and spent some much needed quiet time with G-d. I've been in need of guidance and peace, but I was going and running without taking time to be still. He definitely restored me this afternoon - physically and spiritually. Thank you, Lord; i needed that.

The later hours saw me meeting my best friend at the downtown farmer's market for dinner - some tasty Greek cuisine for me, Thai for D. After finishing dinner we took a lovely walk to a local library for a chamber music show. It was beautiful!

Dinner, a calm walk, and chamber music - who needs a boyfriend when you have a bestie like D? Yeah, she might slap me for that, all the "boy" talk she's heard from me over the years. She listens to so much. I'm thankful for a friend like her and glad that she listens to me go on when I have a crush or infatuation. She has been my solace many times.

Final aside - Pandora.com is great. You can create customized radio stations based on artists/songs you like. They play music with similar qualities and you can further customize it by adding other artists/songs to the same station or starting another station and by voting up/down the songs they play. I've enjoyed discovering a lot of music I had not heard before. Two new favorites are some film scores by Danny Elfman and a band called Akissforjersey.

Hater was my word

I am interested in words and etymology. Learning the original meanings, roots, and history of words almost seems like an adventure in the vein of Indiana Jones, but on a smaller, more bookish level. When I find a new word or learn something new about a familiar one I sometimes adopt it for a week and sprinkle it in my conversation to get to know it better, get a feel for it.

Hater was my word for a week and I'm not sure why. I didn't use it often, but more than I normally would. It's use was usually in a jovial manner with friends to mark a point of contention or disagreement. An example could be the text conversation between a friend and myself:

Kev: How ya doing?
Me: I'm tired. Moved into the dorms today. Need a nap and some Starbucks! :D
Kev: Starbucks is the devil.
Me: Whatever, hater!

Kevin and I aren't very close friends, but we joke around a lot when we do talk. It was a random conversation void of hard feelings. Nothing was meant poorly toward Kev by my choice of words.

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While cleaning test tubes during work study I was listening to an audio book by Cathleen Falsani, Sin Boldly: A Field Guide for Grace. I've made it through Chapter 10 so far and don't think there is much more to go. She is a journalist and a writer on religion. In one of the chapters she mentioned one article that she wrote, among others, that drew her considerable amounts of hate mail mostly from those professing a like faith in Jesus Christ. They called her names, questioned her journalistic credentials and even her faith.

There are times when I am a hater, like those who attacked this writer through email. In the comfort of my opinions and limited self-knowledge, often without empathy for the other party, I lay down some heavy-handed words that probably serve to hurt much more than teach or encourage. This isn't the way I'm supposed to live. Jesus isn't making me into a hater; that's not His nature born in me, but something I've been holding onto.

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth.
Say only what helps, each word a gift.
Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart.
His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life,
making you fit for himself.
Don't take such a gift for granted.
- Ephesians 4:29-30 (The Message)

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NOOMA videos are amazing. I've only watched a few, but I really like the way that Rob Bell speaks and illustrates what is said in the Bible. The one I watched on YouTube was Rain. He was telling of a walk he took through the woods with his young son when it started to rain and storm. The connection was that when rain and storms come in our lives, God is right there and says that He will walk through them with us, holding us close. He mentioned Deuteronomy 1:31 - "There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."

Rob went on to say that it's not a question of whether storms come in our lives, it's a fact. It rains in our lives and it does it a lot. In the church we sometimes act like we must have everything together before coming to God, that He desires followers who are complete and whole. As Rob pointed out, it's almost the opposite. Jesus said that He didn't come for those who were well, but like a physician to those sick and in need. God calls us to bring our junkie, torn-up selves to Him and trust Him, cry out to Him, and He will answer and save us.

Matthew 9:11-13

Psalm 55:22
1 Peter 5:7
Lamentations 3:56-58

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There are times when hater could still be my word, but I want to change it and embrace the word Jesus has for me, the moniker fitting one who follows Him. It's probably not wholly summed in one word, but it's definitely painted with many shades of love and kindness. Love is what is supposed to mark me as a child of God, the love that I cultivate for my heavenly Father and my brothers and sisters in Christ. With all the love that I've been shown by Love Himself, how could I not share that with others? It's my calling.

My thought this afternoon was, I really like those people who get hate mail -- Showbread, Derek Webb, Cathleen Falsani. While there might be differences of opinion or belief, they are part of the same spiritual body that I take life from. Cutting them off from that would be like surgically removing myself from this body -- I cannot and should not try. Instead, my duty and privilege is to pray for, listen to, lovingly rebuke, encourage, and walk with those who share faith in Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. He is our perfection, and I'm as imperfect and messed up as they come without Him.

*I'd like to be an Islet of Langerhans in the body of Christ.

Slam Poet Peter Nevland

I read an article about this guy on RELEVANTmagazine.com.

On passing deforesting construction on the way to school

No more as merry shall be our young men
In the coming generations
As those of olden time forest and fen,
For instead of grand, adventurous play
They learn skills and calculations,
Thus painting their lives drab, dutiful gray.

School + bike = fun

Brief Update, on the rare chance that I haven't driven off my dear readership from blog neglect:

• back in school - Zoology, Drug Education, General Chemistry 1 (again), and History of Civilization 1
• haven't moved back in to grandma's yet - lots of schoolwork!
• been biking more - bus from school to work, bike from work to home
• first Zoology test this Tuesday!

That's all for now, but I hope to manage a true update soon. Love y'all!