Hater was my word

I am interested in words and etymology. Learning the original meanings, roots, and history of words almost seems like an adventure in the vein of Indiana Jones, but on a smaller, more bookish level. When I find a new word or learn something new about a familiar one I sometimes adopt it for a week and sprinkle it in my conversation to get to know it better, get a feel for it.

Hater was my word for a week and I'm not sure why. I didn't use it often, but more than I normally would. It's use was usually in a jovial manner with friends to mark a point of contention or disagreement. An example could be the text conversation between a friend and myself:

Kev: How ya doing?
Me: I'm tired. Moved into the dorms today. Need a nap and some Starbucks! :D
Kev: Starbucks is the devil.
Me: Whatever, hater!

Kevin and I aren't very close friends, but we joke around a lot when we do talk. It was a random conversation void of hard feelings. Nothing was meant poorly toward Kev by my choice of words.

~~@~~ | ~~@~~ | ~~@~~

While cleaning test tubes during work study I was listening to an audio book by Cathleen Falsani, Sin Boldly: A Field Guide for Grace. I've made it through Chapter 10 so far and don't think there is much more to go. She is a journalist and a writer on religion. In one of the chapters she mentioned one article that she wrote, among others, that drew her considerable amounts of hate mail mostly from those professing a like faith in Jesus Christ. They called her names, questioned her journalistic credentials and even her faith.

There are times when I am a hater, like those who attacked this writer through email. In the comfort of my opinions and limited self-knowledge, often without empathy for the other party, I lay down some heavy-handed words that probably serve to hurt much more than teach or encourage. This isn't the way I'm supposed to live. Jesus isn't making me into a hater; that's not His nature born in me, but something I've been holding onto.

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth.
Say only what helps, each word a gift.
Don't grieve God. Don't break his heart.
His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life,
making you fit for himself.
Don't take such a gift for granted.
- Ephesians 4:29-30 (The Message)

~~@~~ | ~~@~~ | ~~@~~

NOOMA videos are amazing. I've only watched a few, but I really like the way that Rob Bell speaks and illustrates what is said in the Bible. The one I watched on YouTube was Rain. He was telling of a walk he took through the woods with his young son when it started to rain and storm. The connection was that when rain and storms come in our lives, God is right there and says that He will walk through them with us, holding us close. He mentioned Deuteronomy 1:31 - "There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place."

Rob went on to say that it's not a question of whether storms come in our lives, it's a fact. It rains in our lives and it does it a lot. In the church we sometimes act like we must have everything together before coming to God, that He desires followers who are complete and whole. As Rob pointed out, it's almost the opposite. Jesus said that He didn't come for those who were well, but like a physician to those sick and in need. God calls us to bring our junkie, torn-up selves to Him and trust Him, cry out to Him, and He will answer and save us.

Matthew 9:11-13

Psalm 55:22
1 Peter 5:7
Lamentations 3:56-58

~~@~~ | ~~@~~ | ~~@~~

There are times when hater could still be my word, but I want to change it and embrace the word Jesus has for me, the moniker fitting one who follows Him. It's probably not wholly summed in one word, but it's definitely painted with many shades of love and kindness. Love is what is supposed to mark me as a child of God, the love that I cultivate for my heavenly Father and my brothers and sisters in Christ. With all the love that I've been shown by Love Himself, how could I not share that with others? It's my calling.

My thought this afternoon was, I really like those people who get hate mail -- Showbread, Derek Webb, Cathleen Falsani. While there might be differences of opinion or belief, they are part of the same spiritual body that I take life from. Cutting them off from that would be like surgically removing myself from this body -- I cannot and should not try. Instead, my duty and privilege is to pray for, listen to, lovingly rebuke, encourage, and walk with those who share faith in Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. He is our perfection, and I'm as imperfect and messed up as they come without Him.

*I'd like to be an Islet of Langerhans in the body of Christ.

Slam Poet Peter Nevland

I read an article about this guy on RELEVANTmagazine.com.

On passing deforesting construction on the way to school

No more as merry shall be our young men
In the coming generations
As those of olden time forest and fen,
For instead of grand, adventurous play
They learn skills and calculations,
Thus painting their lives drab, dutiful gray.

School + bike = fun

Brief Update, on the rare chance that I haven't driven off my dear readership from blog neglect:

• back in school - Zoology, Drug Education, General Chemistry 1 (again), and History of Civilization 1
• haven't moved back in to grandma's yet - lots of schoolwork!
• been biking more - bus from school to work, bike from work to home
• first Zoology test this Tuesday!

That's all for now, but I hope to manage a true update soon. Love y'all!

beautimus

I love reading, but I haven't been good about actually picking up a book I've been interested in. Margaret Feinberg is an author whose work I've been wanting to read for a while and I finally got the chance thanks to a friend (Elizabeth!!) letting me borrow her copy of the organic God. The first chapter was read a few weeks ago, but last Monday and Tuesday when my aunt and I road-tripped to pick my littlest sister up I read through to the fourth or fifth chapter. This book is wonderful. She is an engaging writer sharing some of the aspects of God's character as found in the scriptures and relating some of the ways He has worked in her life. My brief critique doesn't begin to do it justice - I had as many "haha" moments as I did "aha" moments.

In one chapter she talks of God's beauty. The way she wrote it, that we often have a bottom-up view of beauty instead of a top-down view, has been stewing in my brain somewhat. We often look at the beauty in the people or things around us, nature, art, architecture, and appreciate the beauty found there. However we don't often look at the author of that beauty, the One who infused the lovliness found in the people and things around us. And our perception of beauty is often a bit lopsided and skewed, focusing very much on physical beauty, aesthetic appeal, and symmetry to some degree. I've also been watching some of the Dove Self-esteem & True beauty videos and just mulling over this idea of beauty - that the beauty and value to be found in a person is a reflection of the value of their Creator, the One who loves them and calls them beautiful. I don't think I'm smart enough to put it in my own words and I don't want to plagiarize either. Thankfully, as Derek Webb says, the truth is public domain:

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.- Ecclesiastes 3:11

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.-Psalm 27:4

And the following is not scripture but a poem that is often cited as Audrey Hepburn's favorite, one that she lived by. I found it posted on the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty forums:

Time Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody. Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

--Sam Levenson

What is beauty to you?

Graphic content

This forlorn blog has been left untended too long. I've since updated account information, but haven't taken the time to post a real entry. This attempt at a post may not be a remedy to this slight internet injustice, but it will have to make due for now.

FACTS:

• I'm working over the summer.
• Fall semester looming ever nearer while I have yet to visit the academic advisor.
• My advisor will be receiving an email from me within the week.
• I've been bicycling to and from work at least once a week. Fun times! Adventure stories to come soon!

This image is some of the work that I did for our mom's birthday. I took some pictures of the sibs and I that I had on the computer, as well as lifting one from sissy's DeviantArt page, and then looked up "mother" in different languages with the help of Babelfish. From there I used the graphic editor that sissy downloaded onto my computer for me: GIMP.

I have limited previous experience from way back with an old version of PhotoShop and leave most of the cool photo manipulation and graphics rendering to my sis and bro, but it's been fun watching what sis can do, so I figured I would take a stab at it. And the software is a free download. The end product turned out pretty well and was printed on iron-on transfer paper, then ironed onto a cotton purse from Hobby Lobby. Ironed on the other side of the purse was a poem that I found which reminded me of our mom. She taught us to look at things differently, to look for a different perspective on things.

THE LOCKET

It was tarnished and old with a broken clasp.
I tossed it into the drawer.
Why did my mother give it to me,
and what would I want it for?
She said I liked it long ago
when it was shiny and new.
But why she thought I'd like it now,
I really wished I knew.
The years passed by, and my little girl
was going through my things,
slipping bracelets on her arm
and trying on my rings.
"What's this?" I heard my daughter ask
as she held it for me to see.
"Why, it's just an old locket," I replied,
"that your grandma gave to me."
"Oh, Mommy, isn't it beautiful? It's shaped just like a book
with pages you can turn inside and pictures...
Oh, look, Mommy, look."
I saw it then through a child's new eyes,
what I should have seen from the start,
the reason my mother treasured it so
and wore it close to her heart.
Now when I'm tempted to look at the surface,
discounting what's broken or old,
I think of the locket all tarnished outside
with an inside of purest gold.
~~ Author Unknown ~~

It kind of reminds me of the way God sees things too. He doesn't look at the outside, but looks to the inner parts of us, even the parts we don't really like or don't want others to see. God's beauty is on display everywhere. His majesty openly abounds to be seen if we'll let Him open our eyes.

Next Chapter

I'm not sure if I would consider the contents of individual journals to be definitive chapters in my life, based on my late start and recent stochastic writing. Journal keeping was not a practice of mine until about the 5th grade. I would write at least a paragraph every day. The amount and variety of creativity in my journals expanded in junior high school and then homeschooling, when they would also be scrapbooks, copy books, sketchpads, and sratch paper. Each journal also seems to have a bit of its own personality, if you will, based on both the exterior design or style and the interior contents.

Some of these journals have not seen the light of day for one reason or another. Those unfortunate books that accompanied me through depression or anger just get left in whatever boxes they happen to be stored in. However, one of my favorite journals has a prominent spot on my bookshelf. It is tall, slim, and rich royal blue with a picture vines and flowers on the front and back covers. It was probably my first journal with unlined pages.

At first the idea of a journal with unlined pages was absurd, but then I found that I preferred it that way. There was a loose page that had leader lines if I wanted to use that, but more often than not there was such freedom in not confining my thoughts to those dull, evenly spaced lines. There are pages filled with text that curved around pictures or pasted movie tickets or text that spiraled around on the page, mimicking the way my thoughts had been spiraling around in my head that day. That was also the journal that saw my relationship with my best friend blossom and start to become what it is today. My feelings for that book are probably as strong as some of the feelings that are recorded in it.

I finished a journal that has been with me for approximately the last two years. That lifetime is due to the fact that I have been perfectly awful at maintaining any consistency in writing, despite the best of intentions. However, there is a new challenge to take record in one of the books that is awaiting selection as my new paper confidant. A young lady in the youth group at one of the churches (yes, there are two) I attend has taken up a personal summons to read the Holy Bible every day and write in her journal. She has also asked for accountability in this venture. She is an amazing young lady and I hope to be whatever help I can. Her move has also prompted me to make a similar commitment, not just to my books, but to God's Book, which has far stronger meaning and relevance in my life than anything I have penned.

The question now is the petite orange, oriental-dragon-embellished journal or the taller hand-dyed, natural fiber journal?