No, I have not traveled overseas this past week, I haven't even left the state. However, I have had a good week so far. On Tuesday I did get to go hiking, sort of. BBB and I went to meet some of her friends at a mountain that's not too far away. (People from out of town say that it's really more of a hill, but it's the closest that we have. ) They didn't show up, so we just hung out at the playground area and walked one of the flat trails. There were a LOT of kids there. Many, many children were running around. The weather was wonderful, so it was understandable. Almost perfect spring break weather. After walking the flat trail, we just went home and ate lunch. I watched Tuck Everlasting for the first time. Of course, I cried at the end. It was sappy and sweet.
Yesterday, Sister and I took another short road trip, a little bit longer than to the mountain, to visit one of the colleges that she is interested in attending in the fall. There was a young man who attended the school that guided a short, one-hour walking tour around the campus. It is a large campus. While we were in that area, Sister treated me to lunch and we also stopped in at a Cingular store. We really stopped in to get directions to the college, but the lady that worked there also told us about the different calling plans that they have. Pretty cool. I don't know if Cingular is the company that I will want to go with. I would prefer to shop around a little bit more.
Sister and I also checked out three more movies yesterday: Vanity Fair with Reese Witherspoon (and Bob Hoskins *grin*), Henry V, because Brother has been wanting to check that out for some time, and The Station Agent. I have been interested in the last movie since it came out. I am just hoping that it was a good pick. Some of the movies that we have brought home have been somewhat embarrasing. We watched Vanity Fair the other evening, and it wasn't so bad. Some parts brought out my soft, sentimental side. But, Sister says that the ending was happy, or good, or something like that. Not too many people died completely, so she might be right.
That leaves today. Quite a few loads of laundry were done today. I also got some real sleep the evening last. I think I will also get some real sleep tonight. And tomorrow will be lots of fun. Pizza and a movie with the kids at church, swimming with Little Sister, and the mystery dinner theater with Bestest Best Buddy. Good times, good times. I hope that you have a wonderful day tomorrow as well!
Don't fool or be fooled too much.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Monday, March 28, 2005
Dubo Yubou Spubeak "Zuboom Spubeak"?
My brain is currently on vacation. It left sometime last Friday, about 1:20pm, I think. Spring Break, so far, has been nothing special to speak of. That's not completely true. Yesterday was lovely, and Saturday was nice too. I have had a good time. It's just not flying to Barcelona or tripping around Rome in a pair of espadrillas, a flowered sundress, and a large, floppy straw hat. That's probably a good thing though, as I don't speak a bit of Italian. The only Italian words that I know are those that are related to The Olive Garden. Maybe I should eat there more often. Mmm... eggplant! Nah, I really like my grandma's eggplant spaghetti better. Besides, I'd rather go camping right now than hop across the pond.
I don't drink nor do I plan on drinking, but I feel like I understand, at least a little bit, what a hangover must feel like. I am fairly certain that mine is caused by a combination of elevated blood sugar and sleep deprivation. Again last night, I stayed up until about 3:00 in the morning watching season one DVDs of Dead Like Me with Sister and Brother. Certain amounts of ice cream and soda were consumed as well. Oh, the throbbing pain of idiocy. I slept a little bit late, so perhaps it won't be too big a deal.
Perhaps getting out and running would alleviate some of the pain. That and drinking more water. It isn't raining today as it has been for the past few. I very much hope that it remains sunny and dry so that I can go hiking. Plans to drag the siblings, BBB, and whoever else I can get to come along have already been formulated. But, not today. It will still be too wet. There is also cleaning and packing to be done here at home. In a little less than a month now, BBB and I will be on our own. Exhiliration and anxiety.
Our apartment will be my third move within the past year. It seems like it has been longer since Helen went home, and still not that long at all. I haven't been out to visit, or called her niece or brother-in-law. I do want to, but I don't have any clue what to say, other than to tell them that I'm moving... again. *sigh* It seems that the changing of address kind of mimics what's happening in other areas of my life. I feel quite fluid right now. There are a few fairly stable factors at play (same job; still keeping in constant contact with my family; my best friend and I are still friends and neither has dismembered the other, yet). There is just a desire to root somewhere. Not a physical place. I have a sneaking suspicion that some might say I am "looking for myself." I don't know if that's a bad way to look at it, but I do feel a little lost to myself. What do I believe and why do I believe that? Who am I in the context of my relationships? Do my relationships define who I am?
One thing that I do know, as certainly as I can know anything, is that my relationship with my Redeemer has defined me in a different way, redefined me. He has made me better than I could ever be on my own. If we had to wear our souls for our bodies, I can guarantee you that mine wouldn't be a very pretty sight. But it looks exceedingly better than it used to. A redeeming work through the blood of Jesus Christ has wrought this soul into something much more comely than it's previously gnarled, scarred, and jagged self. All I could do was cry out. He gave the grace. I received the forgiveness.
Disclaimer: As introspective as this may sound, I'm still a total garbanzo bean. But I know that you love me anyway! (well, you didn't have to make that face, hmph!)
I don't drink nor do I plan on drinking, but I feel like I understand, at least a little bit, what a hangover must feel like. I am fairly certain that mine is caused by a combination of elevated blood sugar and sleep deprivation. Again last night, I stayed up until about 3:00 in the morning watching season one DVDs of Dead Like Me with Sister and Brother. Certain amounts of ice cream and soda were consumed as well. Oh, the throbbing pain of idiocy. I slept a little bit late, so perhaps it won't be too big a deal.
Perhaps getting out and running would alleviate some of the pain. That and drinking more water. It isn't raining today as it has been for the past few. I very much hope that it remains sunny and dry so that I can go hiking. Plans to drag the siblings, BBB, and whoever else I can get to come along have already been formulated. But, not today. It will still be too wet. There is also cleaning and packing to be done here at home. In a little less than a month now, BBB and I will be on our own. Exhiliration and anxiety.
Our apartment will be my third move within the past year. It seems like it has been longer since Helen went home, and still not that long at all. I haven't been out to visit, or called her niece or brother-in-law. I do want to, but I don't have any clue what to say, other than to tell them that I'm moving... again. *sigh* It seems that the changing of address kind of mimics what's happening in other areas of my life. I feel quite fluid right now. There are a few fairly stable factors at play (same job; still keeping in constant contact with my family; my best friend and I are still friends and neither has dismembered the other, yet). There is just a desire to root somewhere. Not a physical place. I have a sneaking suspicion that some might say I am "looking for myself." I don't know if that's a bad way to look at it, but I do feel a little lost to myself. What do I believe and why do I believe that? Who am I in the context of my relationships? Do my relationships define who I am?
One thing that I do know, as certainly as I can know anything, is that my relationship with my Redeemer has defined me in a different way, redefined me. He has made me better than I could ever be on my own. If we had to wear our souls for our bodies, I can guarantee you that mine wouldn't be a very pretty sight. But it looks exceedingly better than it used to. A redeeming work through the blood of Jesus Christ has wrought this soul into something much more comely than it's previously gnarled, scarred, and jagged self. All I could do was cry out. He gave the grace. I received the forgiveness.
Disclaimer: As introspective as this may sound, I'm still a total garbanzo bean. But I know that you love me anyway! (well, you didn't have to make that face, hmph!)
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Romanticizing My Childhood
I walked to church this evening for the first time in a while, at least two months. My feet know the way to go. They know where to fall to avoid holes; they can almost gracefully balance on the familiar curbs of the familiar homes. My entire teenage life was spent in this neighborhood. My feet have walked miles and miles around this area. When they drained the lake years ago, my feet took me across the alien landscape in search of the abandoned pearly shells of gastropods. In that late fall/early winter, the drained lakebed looked like an ancient desert that was years without the thought of hydration (nevermind the little spots of quickmud that sucked our adventurous little feet into its frigid depths up to our calves, stealing our shoes and caking our socks: icky!).
The recent news of the death of our beloved canine companion, the only dog that we as a family have ever had, has been sort of hulking in the corner of my mind. When he left along with our step-dad, it didn't occur to me that I would never see him alive again. I wasn't a young child either; I had seventeen years. Walking to church and just looking around this neighborhood kind of made me feel a little like I did when I found out about Ben.
BBB and I will be moving into an apartment not too long from now. This will be my last month or so in this neighborhood which has been my home for the greater part of my maturation. Almost exactly half of my present lifetime, more precisely. Our family synthesized here when I was about 10 or 11. I will be (the ghastly age of) 21 later this year (horrors!). There are so many small, seemingly insignificant things to remember about this area. Three different houses in this area have been called my home. A few more could have been considered my part-time homes, as I spent so much time with my friends. These have even overlapped twice. Two of my part-time homes became my full-times homes at different times. This area has been the backdrop for a rich, vivid, and full adolescent life.
The more that I think on it, there is a certain amount of personal symbolism in my leaving. I have been a teenager here, cared for by those who love me. It is time for me to strike out as a young adult and try to begin to care for myself (though I still fully intend to mooch leftovers from Grandma's house as often as possible). I am leaving old friends whom I have long since lost contact with. Also being left are my adolescent hurts and sorrows, my misadventures, some fond memories. I will still have them, but lacking the constant visual reminder, they will continue to fade. But this is not a bad thing at all. There is still church to attend out this way. There are friends that do still live here that I intend to visit. My bicycle or car can easily bring me here when I need or desire to come. And BBB and I both like the new area that we are moving to. I am just a little sad to think that I will never again live in this neighborhood. No more walking out my door and strolling around the lake or racing nothing-and-everything down the big hills on my bicycle. Of course, no more falling INTO the lake or crashing my bicycle at the bottom of the hills. Now the only things left to do are to load up the boxes and let the ink dry. This chapter is just about done.
The recent news of the death of our beloved canine companion, the only dog that we as a family have ever had, has been sort of hulking in the corner of my mind. When he left along with our step-dad, it didn't occur to me that I would never see him alive again. I wasn't a young child either; I had seventeen years. Walking to church and just looking around this neighborhood kind of made me feel a little like I did when I found out about Ben.
BBB and I will be moving into an apartment not too long from now. This will be my last month or so in this neighborhood which has been my home for the greater part of my maturation. Almost exactly half of my present lifetime, more precisely. Our family synthesized here when I was about 10 or 11. I will be (the ghastly age of) 21 later this year (horrors!). There are so many small, seemingly insignificant things to remember about this area. Three different houses in this area have been called my home. A few more could have been considered my part-time homes, as I spent so much time with my friends. These have even overlapped twice. Two of my part-time homes became my full-times homes at different times. This area has been the backdrop for a rich, vivid, and full adolescent life.
The more that I think on it, there is a certain amount of personal symbolism in my leaving. I have been a teenager here, cared for by those who love me. It is time for me to strike out as a young adult and try to begin to care for myself (though I still fully intend to mooch leftovers from Grandma's house as often as possible). I am leaving old friends whom I have long since lost contact with. Also being left are my adolescent hurts and sorrows, my misadventures, some fond memories. I will still have them, but lacking the constant visual reminder, they will continue to fade. But this is not a bad thing at all. There is still church to attend out this way. There are friends that do still live here that I intend to visit. My bicycle or car can easily bring me here when I need or desire to come. And BBB and I both like the new area that we are moving to. I am just a little sad to think that I will never again live in this neighborhood. No more walking out my door and strolling around the lake or racing nothing-and-everything down the big hills on my bicycle. Of course, no more falling INTO the lake or crashing my bicycle at the bottom of the hills. Now the only things left to do are to load up the boxes and let the ink dry. This chapter is just about done.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Sunny With a High of 75
There are times when, despite my personal efficacy and self-confidence, I feel like a total flake. It is usually a fleeting feeling, but I think that it really does help in a way. Perhaps it is a sort of conviction. It reminds me of Plato's writing on Socrates. Socrates is quoted as saying something to the effect of, "I am the wisest man alive, because I know that which I do not know." My father has quoted this line a few times and asked the siblings and me if we understood what it meant. In a basic way perhaps, you know your limits. You admit that you do not know everything. If I remember, Socrates took it so far as to say that he knew nothing, or very, very little. Some other philosophers of the skeptical variety postulate that we cannot know anything with certainty.
These kinds of arguments are fun to take on because when attempting to refute the skeptic, you really end up going in circles. "How do you know that we can't know anything with certainty?" one might ask. The skeptic might answer, "We don't even know that." It's similar to playing a game of "Why?" with a young child. You end up going in frustrating circles (I personally often find it amusing. It's fun to watch Little Sister find out that she won't be able to bother the stuffing out of me just by asking me a monosyllabic question repeatedly for five minutes).
Here is a link to the most recent news that I have been able to find about the battle to keep Terri Schiavo's feeding tube from being removed: http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/103-03172005-464611.html. Her feeding tube is currently set to be removed as scheduled, tomorrow afternoon. There are some lawmakers still attempting to prevent this from happening, but there is a good deal of opposition. Removal of Ms. Schiavo's feeding tube will not result in immediate death, but rather starvation, which is not definite in the amount of time that it will take. Lots of praying to be done!
These kinds of arguments are fun to take on because when attempting to refute the skeptic, you really end up going in circles. "How do you know that we can't know anything with certainty?" one might ask. The skeptic might answer, "We don't even know that." It's similar to playing a game of "Why?" with a young child. You end up going in frustrating circles (I personally often find it amusing. It's fun to watch Little Sister find out that she won't be able to bother the stuffing out of me just by asking me a monosyllabic question repeatedly for five minutes).
Here is a link to the most recent news that I have been able to find about the battle to keep Terri Schiavo's feeding tube from being removed: http://www.phillyburbs.com/pb-dyn/news/103-03172005-464611.html. Her feeding tube is currently set to be removed as scheduled, tomorrow afternoon. There are some lawmakers still attempting to prevent this from happening, but there is a good deal of opposition. Removal of Ms. Schiavo's feeding tube will not result in immediate death, but rather starvation, which is not definite in the amount of time that it will take. Lots of praying to be done!
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
I posted this information on my (still pretty new) xanga a few days ago, but I also wanted to post it on here as I don't think that many of my friends are yet able to tolerate reading both. This morning I would like to ask that you look at the case of Terri Schiavo. You have probably at least heard her name in the news. The website for the foundation that her family has started on her behalf shares this information:
In 1990, Terri Schindler-Schiavo collapsed in the home she shared with her husband, Michael Schiavo. The cause of her collapse is unknown to this day.
Terri fell into a coma but awakened from her comatose state weeks later. She was left in what medical professionals call a "locked in state" with limited abilities to communicate or move.During the first months that followed Terri's mysterious collapse, she made progress. Medical practitioners noted her efforts to speak and her responsiveness.
To this day, Terri remains disabled. Though she is responsive to stimuli, interacts with her environment and her loved ones and is capable of communicating in limited ways, she is a disabled and vulnerable adult - requiring protection, therapy and the route to recovery.
It also states that she receives food and water via a gastric feeding tube. The reason that her name has been in the news is because her husband has asked that the feeding tube be removed, which would cause death by starvation. Her family is trying to prevent this from happening and have offered to take care of her. That is a very simple idea of what has been a long, difficult, and complicated battle.
This was brought to my attention because I received an e-mail from the American Family Association with a link that allows you to send an e-mail to your Senator and Representative about a bill that was introduced that would hopefully protect people in this situation, the Incapacitated Person's Legal Protection Act (H.R. 1151 and S. 539):
'To amend title 28, United States Code, to provide the protections of habeas corpus for certain incapacitated individuals whose life is in jeopardy, and for other purposes.'
http://capwiz.com/afanet/alert7191461.html - to e-mail representatives
I don't know if anyone else is confused about some of this as much as I am, but I do believe that human life has value. If you want to, use the AFA link and e-mail your Congressmen that way, write your own e-mails or letters to them, or find out their phone numbers and call them. Just do what you are capable of to make your voice and your beliefs known. (And not just on this issue. How do feel about our military's overseas actions? What about Social Security reform? Federal Debt? It's a lot to deal with, but we are all effected and therefore have a right and obligation to inform our government of how we wish to be governed.)
Thanks for bearing with me through this. Please give thanks to God for the life that you have, and all of the little blessings that we let slip under our gratitude radar. Before you do anything else, just especially pray for this family and others like them.
Much love to you all!
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Mission 1: Complete
About a month or so ago, Sister posed a challenge for me on her blog. "FIRST CHALLENGE: 25 REASONABLE MEANINGS FOR THE ACRONYM ACT." Since I did not have to go to work today (though I have a good laundry list of things to do around the house, especially cleaning my room!) I have been able to complete the list.
- Adam Called Todd - Thanks D!
- Armadillos Caution Truckers - definitely an Arkie, aren't I?
- Alley Cat Tango - Thanks T!
- Advocate Civil Treatment
- Advanced Calculus Torture
- Airy Crayon Tracings
- Awesome Canyon Trails
- Another Crazy Tale - one of my many autobiographies
- Aardvark Cooking Tutorial
- American Car Traders
- Applied Calculus Theories
- Apeman Called Tarzan
- Abetting Collared Trainrobbers
- Archaic Copper Tools
- Approved Cancer Treatments
- Apothecaries' Coveted Techniques
- Aromatherapy Candle Tienda
- Annotated Chaucer Treasury
- Angst Corrupted Teenagers - we are, we are, we are
- Ailurophile Convention Tradeshow - the latest in fur care + massages that make you say "mew" - I thought you might like this one Sis
- Anemone Coloration Trends
- Angry Cartoonist's Tirade
- Arbitration Canceled Today
- Abundant Canned Tuna
- Archetypical College Teacher - Dr. K! extremely knowledgeable, cares about his students, upon occasion as intimidating as a grand piano dangling directly above you from a few spindly spider threads
Well Sis, I hope these meet your approval. I also hope that you're having good time at your Aggressive Speaking Tourney, which is probably where you are right now. "You're so far away. Doesn't anybody stay in one place any more?" Send my love to the gals, the guys, Ms. Dusk and Ms. Whiz! And lots of love to you too!
Shivers
As is habit, I am not asleep yet. I actually got off work somewhat early. I got to pester one of my buddies from the floor. (If you're reading this, thanks for letting me bug you! If you're not reading this... uh) After talking with three of the nicest [looking ;)] guys at work for a while, I dashed. I have had a mild craving for egg rolls again. Since today was pay day, I made a run to Wally World after leaving work. One package of vegetable egg rolls and a half gallon of rocky road ice cream hopped into my cart, accompanied me to the check out, and came home with me. The desire for Rocky Road was a result of listening to Joan Jett but singing the Weird Al lyrics with Bestest Best Buddy (BBB) earlier this week. This trip gave me just enough time to drop the goodies at home and run to pick up my friend, our Household Mother Figure (HMF).
When I drive I like to have the radio on. When the radio is on, I like to have the bass turned up. Just about everything sounds better with the right amount of bass. Even Felix Mendelssohn sounds good with it, though there is really no need to improve on his music. Sometimes it is just nice to mix things up by turning the radio off and listening to the hum of the road as you glide along above it.
Since we were both tired and somewhat hungry when I picked her up, she treated me to IHOP for supper. Turkey sandwich. Not bad. Needs spinach.
I am beginning to feel tired. My ears are a little itchy inside. Definitely sleepy. I noticed that BBB bought another movie. Surprise did not markedly register on my face when I realized what movie it was. She may not say so as much, but I believe that she has accused me of being gross, which I most certainly am. But this movie gets really gross to. Needy, nihilistic insomniacs making soap and bombs while beating each other to bloody pulps. A wonderful movie to be sure.
Well, I had better at least try to get some sleep. I have been getting considerably less than is recommended. Maybe I should take some Valerian root and get more exercise.
When I drive I like to have the radio on. When the radio is on, I like to have the bass turned up. Just about everything sounds better with the right amount of bass. Even Felix Mendelssohn sounds good with it, though there is really no need to improve on his music. Sometimes it is just nice to mix things up by turning the radio off and listening to the hum of the road as you glide along above it.
Since we were both tired and somewhat hungry when I picked her up, she treated me to IHOP for supper. Turkey sandwich. Not bad. Needs spinach.
I am beginning to feel tired. My ears are a little itchy inside. Definitely sleepy. I noticed that BBB bought another movie. Surprise did not markedly register on my face when I realized what movie it was. She may not say so as much, but I believe that she has accused me of being gross, which I most certainly am. But this movie gets really gross to. Needy, nihilistic insomniacs making soap and bombs while beating each other to bloody pulps. A wonderful movie to be sure.
Well, I had better at least try to get some sleep. I have been getting considerably less than is recommended. Maybe I should take some Valerian root and get more exercise.
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